guy card
i saw nick on thursday .... i had to make an unplanned trip to tyler and was like fuck it, i'll drive to shreveport .... but then i called him and he goes uhhh, im in tyler ... well damn ... but i still got to see him and that was cool .... he always makes me feel better ... i dunno, it's cool ... i got a couple pics of him ... i'll post them later after i make sure it's cool with him .... we tried to watch equilibrium .... hehe, but that didn't really work out *devilish grin*... im still trying to figure out why this one stuck ... he was just supposed to be a one night thing ... but, as he says, shit happens ... although it makes sense but not really cause im really glad i ended up still talking to him ... i dunno ... and brad's not helping .... i showed him the pictures , u could see that he wasn't impressed but then i made the mistake of letting him see the one of nick in his boxerbriefs (yes it is much cooler as one word) and he was like ugh .... yes, brad thank you, i do realize that nicks not the most attractive guy naked but hey ... you've never fucking met him .... it's not like kody's that much of a looker either sweetheart ... but fuck , as brad said, to each his own ... he started giving me shit about how the fuck i couldn't tell that nick was that much older than me when i first saw him ... goddamnit boy ... i don't know why i expected him to be helpful neways .... i just don't think he understands how much that bothers me too ... it's weird cause when im with nick or talking to him it's not an issues ... we joke about it ya, but thats just fucking around .... i always have issues with older men bc of shit thats happened in my past .... it makes me really uncomfortable .... so it does make me twitch a little when i really let myself think , hey this guy is fucking thirteen years older than you what the fuck are you thinking ... but if only any of you would ever meet this guy ... he is absolutely amazing ... and he seems to understand me better than most of the people i've known for years ... he's so much fun to talk to and hang out with .... yes, rock out with your cock out applies to him ... i give him shit for being a manslut ('nother fun one word) but you guys have to understand that if that's all he was to me than i wouldn't still be talking to him ... i can find those in the dfdub , i don't have to hang on to a guy that lives in god forsaken la .... so really what im getting to is, if nothing else, please don't give me anymore shit for this one ... it's hard enough for me as it is ... maybe one of these days i'll plan on sitting in the lab for a while so that i can tell you all why im so fucked up in the head but until then (and prob after then) please just let me be .... i really like this guy ... he's a great friend to have around ... i've actually found someone who can make me laugh and smile sincerely (key word there) .... there are hard times and i try to be strong and put on a happy face but some times i just can't seem to do it ... that's when i call nick , even if it's just to listen to his dumbass vm message .... with someone like that around to keep you company life can't be that bad ... it's not possible ... so it doesn't really matter that im 18 and he's 31 ... everyone needs a good friend ... someone to boost em up when they feel like shit and if you guys can't understand that a person is not what they are based on what year they were born in then you can all just fuck off