(no subject)
ok so i know i have mixed feelings toward hunter.
but honestly.
i have someone who is amazing toward me.
and i don't know why i'm trying to push it away.
he's great to me, he treats me great.
he does anything i ask of him.
and he does it JUST TO MAKE ME HAPPY.
and.
i don't know what i'm so confused about.
maybe its getting physically close with him.
i mean, WE HAVEN'T EVEN KISSED yet.
and thats weird.
but like, i need to work myself into.
i'll kiss him, but i wont make out with him.
not yet.
and i'm scared.
i'm scared. he'll get to college.
and i'll be working and going to school so much.
that we wont get to spend as much time together.
and he'll cheat on me.
and leave me and find someone new.
its what i'm used to.
maybe thats my whole worth.
being temporary.
just there until they find something better.
=[
that hurts to know.
but it feels so true.
and i'm not saying hunter is that type of person.
but i know people get lonely.
and everyone wants to be with someone.
and what if i end up not being that someone he wants.
=[
i'm afraid i'll get broken again.
and i don't think i can go through that.
not right now.
my heart wouldn't be able to take that one.
i'm so not with it.
so many if's.
and all i can do is wait it out and see what happens.
but honestly.
i have someone who is amazing toward me.
and i don't know why i'm trying to push it away.
he's great to me, he treats me great.
he does anything i ask of him.
and he does it JUST TO MAKE ME HAPPY.
and.
i don't know what i'm so confused about.
maybe its getting physically close with him.
i mean, WE HAVEN'T EVEN KISSED yet.
and thats weird.
but like, i need to work myself into.
i'll kiss him, but i wont make out with him.
not yet.
and i'm scared.
i'm scared. he'll get to college.
and i'll be working and going to school so much.
that we wont get to spend as much time together.
and he'll cheat on me.
and leave me and find someone new.
its what i'm used to.
maybe thats my whole worth.
being temporary.
just there until they find something better.
=[
that hurts to know.
but it feels so true.
and i'm not saying hunter is that type of person.
but i know people get lonely.
and everyone wants to be with someone.
and what if i end up not being that someone he wants.
=[
i'm afraid i'll get broken again.
and i don't think i can go through that.
not right now.
my heart wouldn't be able to take that one.
i'm so not with it.
so many if's.
and all i can do is wait it out and see what happens.