that scar's not so easy to erase
you are wondering what to do now.
part of you feels like it's time to let go and another part
of you wants to hang on. you can't do anything
but sit and wait, so consider the virtues of patience.
you have made your position clear. if others can't find it
in themselves to be truthful, all you can do is learn to live with it.
use this experience to remind yourself how easy it is to lapse into dishonesty
and forgive those who give up their integrity for other things.
just be glad that you know enough to stand in your truth.
i don't usually read horoscopes, but real detroit is insanely correct.
and i'm tired of being patient.
but i am glad i know what i feel, virtually completely.
what i've found is
truth isn't enough. a pure, vulnerable sincerity isn't enough.
but it's so much better than keeping it all inside.
aloof, i am not. niave, maybe.
i'm not sure what more i could do to prove myself.
it's a cold, having just been mugged feeling.
a crazy old mexican from art class
(a psychic christian)
said i am rare. i have a pure heart
and that i need to be careful because people will hurt me.
i radiate numerous colors. no specific one.
i am eighty percent heart. i love intensely. often more than
the receiver deserves.
i am rare.
even though she is crazy, it was interesting to hear.
especially after an hour of me denouncing her beliefs.
debating. denouncing. discussing. whatever.
i still wonder if i am translucent.
(maybe only to mexicans)
i still think i am, more than my own good.
maybe that's not such a bad thing.
i said loved you so much,
but do me a favor baby
don't reply.
because i can dish it out,
but i cant take it.
i am on the mend.
at least now i can say that i am trying.
and i hope you will forget things i still lack.
all i've done is replaced
an empty mail box with a dial tone.
and it's getting old.
i'm undecided about you again
mightn't be right that you're not here
it's double-sided, cause i ruined it all
- but also saved myself, by never believing you, dear
i want to believe in someone.
too many lyrics floating in my head.
too many questions left unanswered.
too many meetings postponed or forgotten.
too many voids filling up days.
doesn't every chapter end with a period?
every thought? every ending?
isn't that the distinguishing factor?
new years isn't about starting fresh.
it's not about resolutions or regrets.
nothing changes. so why promise what you can't keep?
i don't make promises.
all it is, is a new year to pretend. a new time to
continue with the mundane and act as if
you've grown. or conquered. or are in the process.
with me i see how i've grown and what i haven't conquered.
yet i'm feeding just a little bit into our
hallmark holiday and i have a few suggestions. requests. pleas.
why don't you just show up and we can
go from there. nothing is or can be about fixing.
there are just some things i need to say.
there are just some things that can't be left.
i need a period if not a semi colon. something. anything.
i think i deserve it.
maybe i have grown.
i don't want my life; these mental wars to be in vain.
part of you feels like it's time to let go and another part
of you wants to hang on. you can't do anything
but sit and wait, so consider the virtues of patience.
you have made your position clear. if others can't find it
in themselves to be truthful, all you can do is learn to live with it.
use this experience to remind yourself how easy it is to lapse into dishonesty
and forgive those who give up their integrity for other things.
just be glad that you know enough to stand in your truth.
i don't usually read horoscopes, but real detroit is insanely correct.
and i'm tired of being patient.
but i am glad i know what i feel, virtually completely.
what i've found is
truth isn't enough. a pure, vulnerable sincerity isn't enough.
but it's so much better than keeping it all inside.
aloof, i am not. niave, maybe.
i'm not sure what more i could do to prove myself.
it's a cold, having just been mugged feeling.
a crazy old mexican from art class
(a psychic christian)
said i am rare. i have a pure heart
and that i need to be careful because people will hurt me.
i radiate numerous colors. no specific one.
i am eighty percent heart. i love intensely. often more than
the receiver deserves.
i am rare.
even though she is crazy, it was interesting to hear.
especially after an hour of me denouncing her beliefs.
debating. denouncing. discussing. whatever.
i still wonder if i am translucent.
(maybe only to mexicans)
i still think i am, more than my own good.
maybe that's not such a bad thing.
i said loved you so much,
but do me a favor baby
don't reply.
because i can dish it out,
but i cant take it.
i am on the mend.
at least now i can say that i am trying.
and i hope you will forget things i still lack.
all i've done is replaced
an empty mail box with a dial tone.
and it's getting old.
i'm undecided about you again
mightn't be right that you're not here
it's double-sided, cause i ruined it all
- but also saved myself, by never believing you, dear
i want to believe in someone.
too many lyrics floating in my head.
too many questions left unanswered.
too many meetings postponed or forgotten.
too many voids filling up days.
doesn't every chapter end with a period?
every thought? every ending?
isn't that the distinguishing factor?
new years isn't about starting fresh.
it's not about resolutions or regrets.
nothing changes. so why promise what you can't keep?
i don't make promises.
all it is, is a new year to pretend. a new time to
continue with the mundane and act as if
you've grown. or conquered. or are in the process.
with me i see how i've grown and what i haven't conquered.
yet i'm feeding just a little bit into our
hallmark holiday and i have a few suggestions. requests. pleas.
why don't you just show up and we can
go from there. nothing is or can be about fixing.
there are just some things i need to say.
there are just some things that can't be left.
i need a period if not a semi colon. something. anything.
i think i deserve it.
maybe i have grown.
i don't want my life; these mental wars to be in vain.