wihout any of the bleary euphoria or short term memory loss
or nonsensical metaphors
or giggling

it's too hot for anything
there's nothing to do but keep looking
and try not to have the same conversation with aaron again

try not to realize the wasted time and money
try not to ... relent?

i feel really out of touch. i wonder, outside of my show, what kind of life i have been building in new york for two years. this is how long i spent in ct before moving (on). there, i tried to build two homes and one life with a young guy though we never lived together. and/or i didn't realize how permanent my decisions would eventually feel. i ( Read more... )

the ucsb annual fund just called to mooch off of me.
i've barely been gone a month.
what just-graduated student would want to donate ANY money to their university, even if he/she had a job lined up?
eff 'em!

competition ties these malintended knots
what i read makes me twitch
why do you remain

i had to leave sb without saying goodbyes.

emergencies.

i'm sorry.
i don't want to talk about them.

if anyone needs a card table, an end table, plastic drawers on wheels, or a bedframe, or even some clothes, I left all this in my old apartment. walk on in and please take anything you want.

dane cook owes me a blowjob

the garlic circling my neck has been keeping away a lot of productivity and appetite. even if i am hungry, the raid keeps me from cooking. functionality has declined today to the point of shrugging after i dump the comet all over the (insert dirty surface here). missed three or so busses before collapsing and forefeiting to the realization that my ( Read more... )

i suppose i keep thinking, in some way, that if i don't unpack the suitcase, i'll just leave again soon. wish i had gone to long beach ( Read more... )

"[The Phoenix is a] fabled Arabian bird that, after living for centuries, consumes itself in fire and is reborn" (Ferguson et. al. "Norton Anthology of Poetry" 906, on Keats).

reasons I am proud today:
a) I am using the term "cock-blocked" in an essay
b) ......
c...)......
d...
teehee!