I don't know what it is but margaritas make me sexy.
What up, kids? I had a great weekend and today I'm ignoring Monday. My parents were gone for two days so my girls came over Saturday night and we ate like pigs and drank a lot. We sang stupid songs and played a ridiculous card game to make the drinking more interesting (we blew cards, lmao. You put the whole deck of cards on the top of a bottle and then take turns blowing into it. The person who blows the last card off the top of the bottle has to do a shot. Sophisticated, no?) I felt weirdly solid the next day but nevertheless spent it in bed watching movies and TV shows:
Street Kings
A movie I downloaded a while ago and got to watching yesterday. It was so weird. I loved the soundtrack, I think. But the movie itself was really weird. I mainly wanted to see it for the cast (Keanu Reeves, Hugh Laurie, Forest Whitaker - sounds like a winner, right?). But...you know how movies usually have this structure - first part is the setup, then things get rollin', then comes the escalation and finally the resolution. Or something like that. Well, this movie felt like one setup after another and then the resolution.
The Wire
I only have four episodes left and then I'm done with the show. BUT I'M SCARED TO SEE THE ENDING. Specifically, I have this terrible feeling Omar's not gonna make it alive out of his prolonged and motherfuckingly scary showdown with Marlo's crew. And I'm pretty damn sure I couldn't handle seeing Omar die. He's become one of my all time favorite male characters, I have enormous love for him. And this gut feeling or irrational fear keeps me from watching the rest of the series. If you know how it ends, please don't tell me! I'll probably watch it tonight and tomorrow. But I'm so scared.
How I Met Your Mother
I spent most of the day yesterday watching the show from the very beginning. It's so delightful, I STILL can't believe there's a sit-com like this one in existence. Anyhoo, I saw FIFTEEN episodes. And I decided to picspam the unbelievable awesomeness that are Lily and Marshall. You know, we're all always swooning over Barney or Robin or Barney/Robin and for damn good reason. But Lily and Marshall amaze me just as much. They're the coolest, most adorable and most compatible long term couple this side of Eric and Tami Taylor and they need to be picspammed! So on with it! (Other characters guest star in this. Just FYI.)
This is them.
Lily: Did you know there's a Pop-Tart under your fridge?
Marshall: No, but dibs.
Hahahaha...NO, BUT DIBS. ROFL.
Cab driver: Whoa, whoa, whoa, did you hit her?
Lily: Me, hit me? Please, this guy can barely even spank me in bed for fun. He's all like, "oh, honey, did that hurt?" And I'm like, "come on, let me have it, you pansy!"
Ahahahahaha...This is where they had me.
Marshall: Lily?
(Lily jumps terrified)
Lily: How long have you been sitting there? Stupid eye patch.
Marshall: So, did you kiss her?
Ted: No, the moment wasn't right. Look, this woman could actually be my future wife, I want our first kiss to be amazing.
Lily: Ah, Ted, that is so sweet. So you chickened out like a little bitch.
Marshall: Yeah, I'm scared, OK? But when I think about spending the rest of my life with Lily, committing forever, no other women, doesn't scare me at all. I'm marrying that girl.
(Lily stands outside of cab and leans in toward Marshall)
Marshall: Lily. Lily, I like olives.
Lily: We'll make it work.
Ted: She didn't even give me the signal!
Barney: What, is she gonna bat her eyes at you in morse code? (bats eyes) Ted... kiss me. No! You just kiss her!
Ted: Not if you don't get the signal!
(Barney kisses Marshall.)
Barney: Did Marshall give me the signal?
Marshall: No! (to Lily) I didn't, I swear!
(Lily wants to have sex and is trying to seduce Marshall away from his books.)
Marshall: Baby, no. I have a 25-page paper on constitutional law due Monday, I've barely started.
Lily: Hey, I'm just sitting here, wearing my ring, my beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like my shirt. I kinda don't wanna wear my shirt anymore. Or my underwear. That's right, I'm not wearing any.
Marshall: No underwear.
Lily: Not even slightly.
(cut to Ted sitting on the couch, watching TV)
Ted: Guys. Boundaries.
LMFAO. I love how they're always molesting Ted.
Ted: Hey, don't you have a paper to write?
Marshall: Dude, you're talking to The Kid.
Ted: I know it.
Marshall: I'm gonna knock back this beer. I'm gonna knock back one more beer. I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna write a 25-page paper. I'm gonna hand it in and I'm gonna get an A. My name is Rufus and that's the Trufus.
Hahaha...and look how cute they are laughing at Marshall's silliness.
Lily: I'm not gonna to take off my ring. Wouldn't you be jealous of guys swarming all over my beeswax?
Marshall: Oh yeah, you know me, I'm the jealous type. Any goon so much as looks at you, I'll sock him in the kisser.
Goon! Kisser! LOLZ.
This is from Okay Awesome when Marshall bails on the boring wine tasting party they were having at home and then Lily finds him at the club and instead of busting him, she cracks up. It's so sweet.
Hee. Their faces!
Hahaha...Lily is usually much smaller than Marshall but look at the height difference when Marshall is in heels!
Lily: Cher?
Marshall: Right here, babe.
Ted: I just met the perfect woman. She's funny. She's beautiful. She loves Star Wars.
Marshall: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. What's her take on Ewoks?
Ted: Loves them.
Marshall: Oh good. I don't know why people are so cynical about Ewoks. The Rebellion would have failed without the Ewoks.
Ted: Get this, she's a marine biologist. She spent a year in Antarctica studying penguins.
Marshall: Oh, penguins are cool, kinda like black and white Ewoks. I approve.
Lily (from bedroom): Ted, is your world ready to be rocked? (echo) rocked-rocked-rocked.
Ted: Can't wait.
(Marshall and Lily walk out in their pirate and parrot costumes)
Marshall: So, what do you think?
Lily: (repeats like a parrot) So, what do you think? (squawks)
Ted: Wow! Marshall, you wearing eyeliner?
Marshall: Oh, yeah. Weirdly hot, right?
Marshall looked totally awesome in this costume. Eyeliner does suit him.
Lily: I think you won the dish-off tonight, baby. This steak totally bitch-slapped my pork chop.
Marshall: That might be true but your rice pilaf kicked my spinach in the crotch so hard it threw up a little bit.
Dish-off! Different meats bitch-slapping each other! Spinach with crotch! This is what I'm talking about. They're so great together, always on the same wavelength and playing off each other.
Carl: Ladies and gentlemen, the results are in. And the winners of this year's costume contest are Lily Aldrin as a parrot and Marshall Eriksen as a gay pirate.
Marshall: Oh yeah! Wait. What did he say?
Lily: Oh, who cares, Marshall? We won!
Marshall: Gay pirate, where are you getting that from?
Carl: Dude, you're wearing eye liner.
Marshall: OK, I just want everybody here to know that I'm not a gay pirate. I have sex with my parrot all the time. That came out wrong.
This ugly ass cap is ugly cause I had to cap it myself but I just had to cause this was brilliant.
OK, now for one of the best Lily/Marshall shenanigans episodes:
Marshall: No, it wasn't a cockroach. It had fur and only mammals have fur.
Lily: It was a cockroach.
Marshall: Come on, Lily, the only way that that was a cockroach was if it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just killed.
Lily: Oh my God.
ROOOFL.
What I totally love about this whole thing is that every time they run out of their apartment and come to the bar all freaked out, they have a shot or something (mostly Barney's, lol).
Barney: So did you get a good look at it?
Lily: Yeah. It has six legs, a hard exoskeleton like a roach...
Marshall: But it has mouse-like characteristics. Grey-brown tufts of fur, a tail.
Robin: So which is it, a cockroach or a mouse?
Lily: It's a cockamouse.
Robin: What?
Lily: It's some sort of mutant combination of the two. It's as if a cockroach and a mouse...you know...
Barney: Hit the horizontal ten-legged interspecies cha-cha?
Robin: That's impossible. That simply can't happen.
Lily: Oh, but it can.
Marshall: And it has.
Lily: And it's pissed.
Lily: He's a whole new species. The cockamouse.
Marshall: And it's the size of a potato.
(Marshall shows everyone his drawing of the cockamous)
Robin: So, what, now it's a cockapotatomouse?
Marshall: Don't make it sound ridiculous. It's a cockamouse.
~******~
Marshall: And like the majestic seahorse, it's hermaphroditic.
Lily: Obviously the whole thing is shrouded in mystery.
Marshall: For as much as we know about the cockamouse, there are still so much we don't know.
Robin: Well, we know that there's no such thing as a cockamouse. What we don't know is what you guys have been smoking.
Marshall: So you really don't believe in the cockamouse?
Robin: Well, I believe that you saw something perfectly normal but you've exaggerated it in your mind, you know, um, like the Loch Ness Monster.
Marshall: If by 'like the Loch Ness Monster,' you mean, totally exists and is awesome, then yeah, it's like the Loch Ness monster.
ROFL. Marshall's face at Robin's suggestion that Nessie isn't real! Bwahahaha awesome.
Robin: Wow, that's a pretty sophisticated trap. You think the road runner's gonna fall for it?
Lily: OK, we get it. You're skeptical. But Marshall and I, we're believers. We believe.
Marshall: Yeah, look around. The universe is mysterious and awesome. You got the Bermuda triangle, ghosts, Big Foot.
Robin: Bad maps. Creaky houses. Hillbilly in a gorilla suit.
Marshall: Aliens. Oh, come one, you gotta give me aliens. Stonehenge. Area 51. There's alien crap all over the place.
Hahaha...Alien crap. And my Marshall/TXF icon could totally be the product of this scene.
Lily: Holy crap. We got it! What do we do with it?
Marshall: Calm down, I have a plan. I told my friend, Sudeep, about it. He wants to show it to the Columbia biology department. But it has to be alive.
Lily: Wait, no no. They'll do lab experiments on it. That's so mean. Shouldn't we just beat it to death with a bat?
Sudeep: You bastard, I actually got excited about this.
Marshall: What?
Sudeep: It's empty.
Marshall: Wait, but if it's not here, that means...(eyes widen) LILY!
Ahahahahaha...amazing.
Robin: Oh my God. It's real.
Lily: Oh, is it? Do something.
(Robin throws a drink at it)
Lily: What the hell was that? You trying to get it drunk?
Marshall bursts in:
Marshall: Lily, thank God! Lily, I love you.
(Marshall grabs cockamouse and run towards window)
Marshall: Robin, open the window!
(Lily, Marshall and Robin run over to the window and Marshall throws the cockamouse out))
Robin: It can fly.
Lily, Marshall: Wow.
Marshall: Be free, mutant beast. I'll miss this private war of ours. I grew to admire your tenacious...Oh my God, it's headed this way!!!
(Marshall slams window shut and animal flies into it)
Ahahahahaha...this episode is comedy gold for these two.
*Marshall stabs Lily*
Ted reacts like this:
ROFL.
Lily: On Monday, I'm gonna have to tell my kindergarten class who I teach not to run with scissors that my fiancé ran me through with a frickin' broad sword.
Marshall: Well, just to be fair, it didn't go all the way through.
Lily: I'm sorry, is this a discussion of the degree to which you stabbed me?
Marshall: I love this song. I haven't heard this in forever.
Lily: I'm pretty sure this is a mixed tape you made me in sophomore year.
Robin: Lily, your apartment makes the best Shanghai dumplings.
Marshall (on tape): I love you, Lily. Happy Valentine's Day 1998.
Marshall: Look, I don't wanna be exactly like my family, and don't take this the wrong way, but I don't wanna be exactly like your family either.
(Lily shakes her head)
Marshall: We'll be our own family, and we'll find our own way to freak out the people our kids bring home.
Carl: And how did you guys like the shots?
Ted: I drank all five, bitch.
Marshall: (laughing) I love drunk Ted.
Ted: Marshall thinks you're a vampire.
(Marshall laughs and then gives Ted a stern look)
Ahahahaha one of my all time favorite Marshall scenes.
Marshall: I'm reaching dangerous levels of psychage. Must do robot.
Also one of the best Marshall and Marshall/Lily scenes ever:
Lily: MARSHAAAALL!
Marshall: LILYYYY!!!
Lily: MARSHAAAALL!
Marshall: LILYYY!!
("Shot Through the Heart" starts up as Marshall runs through the steam)
Not a Marshall/Lily scene but it cracked me up big time:
Barney: Oww.
Lily: Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God, if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you try to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.
Barney: Wait, my eyes or my testicles?
Lily: One of each.
ROFL!
Marshall: That cake, best cake I ever had. Seriously. My stomach was like, hey bro, I don't know what you're eating 'cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down gullet alley.
Lily: Yeah, I know. My stomach was like, girlfriend, we don't always get along but that cake...
Marshall: Say what?
Ahahaha...Are they not crazy cute?
Lily: So, that's what happened to the bouquet. You know, good for Victoria. It's such an evil tradition.
Ted: You're not gonna do it at your wedding?
Lily: Oh, yeah, I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it into the crowd and scream "CRAWL FOR IT, BITCHES!"
Ahahahaha...Lily rules. I love Marshall's reaction as she says this, he's totally OH NO YOU DI'INT!
Marshall: Toast. To the most awesomely mellow anniversary ever.
Marshall: It's been 45 minutes, we could've had sex three times by now.
Lily: Yeah, try five.
Marshall: What up?
(they high five)
They're high fiving each other over sex! LOOOL too cute.
Marshall: Right here. Baby, I'm giving you sexy smoldering with just a hint of crazy eyes.
Lily: Okay, well get ready for my sex-ray vision.
Hee. A hint of crazy eyes.
Marshall: I wanna know you. Like, know your soul.
Lily: Marshall, what makes you cry?
Marshall: This moment...is fleeting...because it's being chased by another moment.
Lily: Oh just grab my boob already!
Mwahahaha mocking Ted and Victoria. AWESOME.
(Sidenote: I realized yesterday how much I hated Ted and Victoria. BLAAAAH. She's all cutesy (the cartwheels at the wedding? GAG ME.) and the whole shtick with no names and the drum roll kiss and crap annoyed me to no end. And they're so UNBEARABLY CHEESY. Yuck.)
AAAAAANYHOODLE. That is all. Lily and Marshall rule.
Caps from here.
Street Kings
A movie I downloaded a while ago and got to watching yesterday. It was so weird. I loved the soundtrack, I think. But the movie itself was really weird. I mainly wanted to see it for the cast (Keanu Reeves, Hugh Laurie, Forest Whitaker - sounds like a winner, right?). But...you know how movies usually have this structure - first part is the setup, then things get rollin', then comes the escalation and finally the resolution. Or something like that. Well, this movie felt like one setup after another and then the resolution.
The Wire
I only have four episodes left and then I'm done with the show. BUT I'M SCARED TO SEE THE ENDING. Specifically, I have this terrible feeling Omar's not gonna make it alive out of his prolonged and motherfuckingly scary showdown with Marlo's crew. And I'm pretty damn sure I couldn't handle seeing Omar die. He's become one of my all time favorite male characters, I have enormous love for him. And this gut feeling or irrational fear keeps me from watching the rest of the series. If you know how it ends, please don't tell me! I'll probably watch it tonight and tomorrow. But I'm so scared.
How I Met Your Mother
I spent most of the day yesterday watching the show from the very beginning. It's so delightful, I STILL can't believe there's a sit-com like this one in existence. Anyhoo, I saw FIFTEEN episodes. And I decided to picspam the unbelievable awesomeness that are Lily and Marshall. You know, we're all always swooning over Barney or Robin or Barney/Robin and for damn good reason. But Lily and Marshall amaze me just as much. They're the coolest, most adorable and most compatible long term couple this side of Eric and Tami Taylor and they need to be picspammed! So on with it! (Other characters guest star in this. Just FYI.)
This is them.
Lily: Did you know there's a Pop-Tart under your fridge?
Marshall: No, but dibs.
Hahahaha...NO, BUT DIBS. ROFL.
Cab driver: Whoa, whoa, whoa, did you hit her?
Lily: Me, hit me? Please, this guy can barely even spank me in bed for fun. He's all like, "oh, honey, did that hurt?" And I'm like, "come on, let me have it, you pansy!"
Ahahahahaha...This is where they had me.
Marshall: Lily?
(Lily jumps terrified)
Lily: How long have you been sitting there? Stupid eye patch.
Marshall: So, did you kiss her?
Ted: No, the moment wasn't right. Look, this woman could actually be my future wife, I want our first kiss to be amazing.
Lily: Ah, Ted, that is so sweet. So you chickened out like a little bitch.
Marshall: Yeah, I'm scared, OK? But when I think about spending the rest of my life with Lily, committing forever, no other women, doesn't scare me at all. I'm marrying that girl.
(Lily stands outside of cab and leans in toward Marshall)
Marshall: Lily. Lily, I like olives.
Lily: We'll make it work.
Ted: She didn't even give me the signal!
Barney: What, is she gonna bat her eyes at you in morse code? (bats eyes) Ted... kiss me. No! You just kiss her!
Ted: Not if you don't get the signal!
(Barney kisses Marshall.)
Barney: Did Marshall give me the signal?
Marshall: No! (to Lily) I didn't, I swear!
(Lily wants to have sex and is trying to seduce Marshall away from his books.)
Marshall: Baby, no. I have a 25-page paper on constitutional law due Monday, I've barely started.
Lily: Hey, I'm just sitting here, wearing my ring, my beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like my shirt. I kinda don't wanna wear my shirt anymore. Or my underwear. That's right, I'm not wearing any.
Marshall: No underwear.
Lily: Not even slightly.
(cut to Ted sitting on the couch, watching TV)
Ted: Guys. Boundaries.
LMFAO. I love how they're always molesting Ted.
Ted: Hey, don't you have a paper to write?
Marshall: Dude, you're talking to The Kid.
Ted: I know it.
Marshall: I'm gonna knock back this beer. I'm gonna knock back one more beer. I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna write a 25-page paper. I'm gonna hand it in and I'm gonna get an A. My name is Rufus and that's the Trufus.
Hahaha...and look how cute they are laughing at Marshall's silliness.
Lily: I'm not gonna to take off my ring. Wouldn't you be jealous of guys swarming all over my beeswax?
Marshall: Oh yeah, you know me, I'm the jealous type. Any goon so much as looks at you, I'll sock him in the kisser.
Goon! Kisser! LOLZ.
This is from Okay Awesome when Marshall bails on the boring wine tasting party they were having at home and then Lily finds him at the club and instead of busting him, she cracks up. It's so sweet.
Hee. Their faces!
Hahaha...Lily is usually much smaller than Marshall but look at the height difference when Marshall is in heels!
Lily: Cher?
Marshall: Right here, babe.
Ted: I just met the perfect woman. She's funny. She's beautiful. She loves Star Wars.
Marshall: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. What's her take on Ewoks?
Ted: Loves them.
Marshall: Oh good. I don't know why people are so cynical about Ewoks. The Rebellion would have failed without the Ewoks.
Ted: Get this, she's a marine biologist. She spent a year in Antarctica studying penguins.
Marshall: Oh, penguins are cool, kinda like black and white Ewoks. I approve.
Lily (from bedroom): Ted, is your world ready to be rocked? (echo) rocked-rocked-rocked.
Ted: Can't wait.
(Marshall and Lily walk out in their pirate and parrot costumes)
Marshall: So, what do you think?
Lily: (repeats like a parrot) So, what do you think? (squawks)
Ted: Wow! Marshall, you wearing eyeliner?
Marshall: Oh, yeah. Weirdly hot, right?
Marshall looked totally awesome in this costume. Eyeliner does suit him.
Lily: I think you won the dish-off tonight, baby. This steak totally bitch-slapped my pork chop.
Marshall: That might be true but your rice pilaf kicked my spinach in the crotch so hard it threw up a little bit.
Dish-off! Different meats bitch-slapping each other! Spinach with crotch! This is what I'm talking about. They're so great together, always on the same wavelength and playing off each other.
Carl: Ladies and gentlemen, the results are in. And the winners of this year's costume contest are Lily Aldrin as a parrot and Marshall Eriksen as a gay pirate.
Marshall: Oh yeah! Wait. What did he say?
Lily: Oh, who cares, Marshall? We won!
Marshall: Gay pirate, where are you getting that from?
Carl: Dude, you're wearing eye liner.
Marshall: OK, I just want everybody here to know that I'm not a gay pirate. I have sex with my parrot all the time. That came out wrong.
This ugly ass cap is ugly cause I had to cap it myself but I just had to cause this was brilliant.
OK, now for one of the best Lily/Marshall shenanigans episodes:
Marshall: No, it wasn't a cockroach. It had fur and only mammals have fur.
Lily: It was a cockroach.
Marshall: Come on, Lily, the only way that that was a cockroach was if it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just killed.
Lily: Oh my God.
ROOOFL.
What I totally love about this whole thing is that every time they run out of their apartment and come to the bar all freaked out, they have a shot or something (mostly Barney's, lol).
Barney: So did you get a good look at it?
Lily: Yeah. It has six legs, a hard exoskeleton like a roach...
Marshall: But it has mouse-like characteristics. Grey-brown tufts of fur, a tail.
Robin: So which is it, a cockroach or a mouse?
Lily: It's a cockamouse.
Robin: What?
Lily: It's some sort of mutant combination of the two. It's as if a cockroach and a mouse...you know...
Barney: Hit the horizontal ten-legged interspecies cha-cha?
Robin: That's impossible. That simply can't happen.
Lily: Oh, but it can.
Marshall: And it has.
Lily: And it's pissed.
Lily: He's a whole new species. The cockamouse.
Marshall: And it's the size of a potato.
(Marshall shows everyone his drawing of the cockamous)
Robin: So, what, now it's a cockapotatomouse?
Marshall: Don't make it sound ridiculous. It's a cockamouse.
~******~
Marshall: And like the majestic seahorse, it's hermaphroditic.
Lily: Obviously the whole thing is shrouded in mystery.
Marshall: For as much as we know about the cockamouse, there are still so much we don't know.
Robin: Well, we know that there's no such thing as a cockamouse. What we don't know is what you guys have been smoking.
Marshall: So you really don't believe in the cockamouse?
Robin: Well, I believe that you saw something perfectly normal but you've exaggerated it in your mind, you know, um, like the Loch Ness Monster.
Marshall: If by 'like the Loch Ness Monster,' you mean, totally exists and is awesome, then yeah, it's like the Loch Ness monster.
ROFL. Marshall's face at Robin's suggestion that Nessie isn't real! Bwahahaha awesome.
Robin: Wow, that's a pretty sophisticated trap. You think the road runner's gonna fall for it?
Lily: OK, we get it. You're skeptical. But Marshall and I, we're believers. We believe.
Marshall: Yeah, look around. The universe is mysterious and awesome. You got the Bermuda triangle, ghosts, Big Foot.
Robin: Bad maps. Creaky houses. Hillbilly in a gorilla suit.
Marshall: Aliens. Oh, come one, you gotta give me aliens. Stonehenge. Area 51. There's alien crap all over the place.
Hahaha...Alien crap. And my Marshall/TXF icon could totally be the product of this scene.
Lily: Holy crap. We got it! What do we do with it?
Marshall: Calm down, I have a plan. I told my friend, Sudeep, about it. He wants to show it to the Columbia biology department. But it has to be alive.
Lily: Wait, no no. They'll do lab experiments on it. That's so mean. Shouldn't we just beat it to death with a bat?
Sudeep: You bastard, I actually got excited about this.
Marshall: What?
Sudeep: It's empty.
Marshall: Wait, but if it's not here, that means...(eyes widen) LILY!
Ahahahahaha...amazing.
Robin: Oh my God. It's real.
Lily: Oh, is it? Do something.
(Robin throws a drink at it)
Lily: What the hell was that? You trying to get it drunk?
Marshall bursts in:
Marshall: Lily, thank God! Lily, I love you.
(Marshall grabs cockamouse and run towards window)
Marshall: Robin, open the window!
(Lily, Marshall and Robin run over to the window and Marshall throws the cockamouse out))
Robin: It can fly.
Lily, Marshall: Wow.
Marshall: Be free, mutant beast. I'll miss this private war of ours. I grew to admire your tenacious...Oh my God, it's headed this way!!!
(Marshall slams window shut and animal flies into it)
Ahahahahaha...this episode is comedy gold for these two.
*Marshall stabs Lily*
Ted reacts like this:
ROFL.
Lily: On Monday, I'm gonna have to tell my kindergarten class who I teach not to run with scissors that my fiancé ran me through with a frickin' broad sword.
Marshall: Well, just to be fair, it didn't go all the way through.
Lily: I'm sorry, is this a discussion of the degree to which you stabbed me?
Marshall: I love this song. I haven't heard this in forever.
Lily: I'm pretty sure this is a mixed tape you made me in sophomore year.
Robin: Lily, your apartment makes the best Shanghai dumplings.
Marshall (on tape): I love you, Lily. Happy Valentine's Day 1998.
Marshall: Look, I don't wanna be exactly like my family, and don't take this the wrong way, but I don't wanna be exactly like your family either.
(Lily shakes her head)
Marshall: We'll be our own family, and we'll find our own way to freak out the people our kids bring home.
Carl: And how did you guys like the shots?
Ted: I drank all five, bitch.
Marshall: (laughing) I love drunk Ted.
Ted: Marshall thinks you're a vampire.
(Marshall laughs and then gives Ted a stern look)
Ahahahaha one of my all time favorite Marshall scenes.
Marshall: I'm reaching dangerous levels of psychage. Must do robot.
Also one of the best Marshall and Marshall/Lily scenes ever:
Lily: MARSHAAAALL!
Marshall: LILYYYY!!!
Lily: MARSHAAAALL!
Marshall: LILYYY!!
("Shot Through the Heart" starts up as Marshall runs through the steam)
Not a Marshall/Lily scene but it cracked me up big time:
Barney: Oww.
Lily: Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God, if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you try to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.
Barney: Wait, my eyes or my testicles?
Lily: One of each.
ROFL!
Marshall: That cake, best cake I ever had. Seriously. My stomach was like, hey bro, I don't know what you're eating 'cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down gullet alley.
Lily: Yeah, I know. My stomach was like, girlfriend, we don't always get along but that cake...
Marshall: Say what?
Ahahaha...Are they not crazy cute?
Lily: So, that's what happened to the bouquet. You know, good for Victoria. It's such an evil tradition.
Ted: You're not gonna do it at your wedding?
Lily: Oh, yeah, I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it into the crowd and scream "CRAWL FOR IT, BITCHES!"
Ahahahaha...Lily rules. I love Marshall's reaction as she says this, he's totally OH NO YOU DI'INT!
Marshall: Toast. To the most awesomely mellow anniversary ever.
Marshall: It's been 45 minutes, we could've had sex three times by now.
Lily: Yeah, try five.
Marshall: What up?
(they high five)
They're high fiving each other over sex! LOOOL too cute.
Marshall: Right here. Baby, I'm giving you sexy smoldering with just a hint of crazy eyes.
Lily: Okay, well get ready for my sex-ray vision.
Hee. A hint of crazy eyes.
Marshall: I wanna know you. Like, know your soul.
Lily: Marshall, what makes you cry?
Marshall: This moment...is fleeting...because it's being chased by another moment.
Lily: Oh just grab my boob already!
Mwahahaha mocking Ted and Victoria. AWESOME.
(Sidenote: I realized yesterday how much I hated Ted and Victoria. BLAAAAH. She's all cutesy (the cartwheels at the wedding? GAG ME.) and the whole shtick with no names and the drum roll kiss and crap annoyed me to no end. And they're so UNBEARABLY CHEESY. Yuck.)
AAAAAANYHOODLE. That is all. Lily and Marshall rule.
Caps from here.