God must hate me...maybe you should pray for me!
I swear, that stupid song should be the theme of my night lol. It's actually really kind of funny in an ironic, my head-is-splitting-open kind of way.
So I had this research paper for English due tomorrow, right, and it was only 8-10 pages so I waited until tonight to start it.
STUPID STUPID STUPID.
Seriously, why do I do this to myself? Because of course, just to make a point or something, my anti-virus software on my laptop randomly crashed and was shrieking at me that I had ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-THREE infections (seriously 143?!) and OMGZ SYSTEM FAILUREZ AGHHHH! So I started freaking out and tried to get rid of all the trojans and shit like it was TELLING me to do every five seconds...only guess what? The reason why my software failed? It apparently needs an updated liscence--which, by the way, costs 50 bucks.
Me: WTF?!
Expensive Liscence Software: AHAHA, you're screwed!
At my mom's suggestion, I tried downloading "free" Avast! software...which wanted to charge me $3.95/month for a "FREE" download on a credit card I DON'T HAVE. I then found free Avast! software that was, refreshingly, free...and it downloaded to 99% and then my computer freaked out and was all, "YOU NO CAN HAS FREE SOFTWARE!" and told me I had an internal error.
Me: *practically crying* BUT WHY?! ''
Computer: Sucks to be you, biznitch.
So, frantic, I proceed to start writing my paper. That, thankfully, went ok, because I saved every five minutes and kept emailing myself sections of it in case the computer just decided to shut off and delete everything or something horrible like that, and I managed to get it done, 11 pages and four hours later (a half a page over the page limit, but hopefully that won't count against me). Then I attempted to email it to myself, and the computer wouldn't let me, so I proceeded to curse as violently as possible and consider throwing the computer out the window and then run over it with a semi-truck calmly restart the laptop and wait patiently, and THEN email the paper to myself.
I then raced down here to print out two copies, and in fact, while I was typing up the first part of this post, the printer RAN OUT OF PAPER. And I ran around for fifteen minutes trying to find some while it beeped incessantly at me the ENTIRE TIME.
Me: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU, CRUEL, UNMERCIFUL TECHNOLOGY?
Technology: Nothing. This is just something we do for kicks.
Me: *grasping for straws* God, why do you hate me?
God: I'm just teaching you a valuable life lesson about not waiting until the last minute, you cocky little wretch.
Me: Damn, I hate it when you do that.
God: I trust this will teach you not to procrastinate in future?
Me: Um........probably not..
God: *facepalm* I thought as much.
Well, my paper IS done, miraculously, and it's 1:00 am and I'll get like five whole hours of sleep if I go to bed now. All in all, I'd say this has been an educational evening, wouldn't you?