So before anything else, can I just say how much I love you guys? Seriously, to anyone on my f-list who commented on my emo post of EXTREMEEEEE emoness, I appreciate everything you said, and just the fact that you took the time to read and comment means a lot. I did draw some strength out of it, and I'm feeling lots, lots, lots better at the moment. Thank you. I can't say it enough.
I did finally get to school at the beginning of third period today--I've still got the migraine, but it's regressed to a an annoying throbbing behind my eye that I can ignore if I really try. So yeah, that was one really good thing about my day.
Plus, I now have TWO memes! I still have to do that icon meme, too, but it's so long, I think I'll hold off even longer, lol.
Stolen from just about everyone:
1. My username is ______ because ______.
that_september, because of a poem I wrote that means a lot to me...It's basically tells the story of my fifteenth year, starting and ending in September. In fact, I've been meaning to post it here, so I might as well now. If you want to read it, go ahead. If not, no biggie. :D
that september
(and some days in between)
by a. taylor
ooo
(warm late summer air and a willow tree)
my voice is hoarse from screaming
words never said.
i close my eyes now and then
and see defiant blue,
hear a whisper of forever,
smell the leaves changing,
feel the heat of the phone against my ear.
(i dance barefoot through a memory)
sometimes i think
i dreamed it all;
dove under water and took a deep breath,
wandered sightless through the day
eyes wide open into an endless night.
(counting months, and one by one)
guilt is ugly,
regret is cold,
numbness is indifferent
and anger is old.
sadness feeds desire
while blame shakes its head
one four-letter word turns cartwheels,
the other one is dead.
(warm hands, cold words; what have i done?)
i hate to run.
each ragged breath reminds me--
okay, so this was a bad idea.
my stride is long
and i'll finish the race
but i'll teach you never to expect
a victory, not from me.
and even if i'm faster than a speeding bullet
faster than a plane
i can't outrun this one
not tomorrow, not today.
(great big smile--what a battle-- and tears on cheeks)
ever hear the one about the elephant in the room?
turns out it trumpets silence over laughter,
tramples over friendships
destroys a few stray muttered ohgodi'msosorry's
and in the end, it's easier to just pretend
that it was you who opened the door
and said, "come right on in."
(you are a casualty of war; i am AWOL for endless weeks)
it was never a question of if,
but always a question of how.
nothing lasts forever
yeah, thanks--i know that now.
sometimes i hear the rising notes
of one of many songs
i wish more than ever now
that we'd never sung along.
(sometimes i feel as though i live in a haze)
so then my tongue turned silver
i fed myself a thousand lies;
don't let them see behind the mask
don't let them follow in my path.
it's easier, i realize now, to pretend
that i don't care.
my heart is so much safer, now.
this silence can't go on forever, now.
(a dream of a life, i walk through it dazed.)
memories run like water,
bright, clear, vivid in my mind.
no matter how many dams i build
this waterfall of words can never be held back.
(the rain beats a steady rhythm now, so please promise you'll remember)
i still hear the laughter sometimes,
still feel cool grass beneath my feet.
still see all that blue, that blue
and my heart will skip a beat.
the sadness closes in, threatens
to consume me, crush me, tear me apart.
i cannot breathe (you'll remember how.)
i cannot rhyme! (oh, can't you, now?)
i don't want to write
i don't want to tell
i hate to wait
i hate to dwell.
and try as i might,
i may never sleep.
and even though i struggled.
i'm in far too deep.
breathe in, breathe out
don't spell this write.
say you're sorry--no!
admit you were right.
mythoughtsracetoofast
i just can't keep up.
my fingers are too s l o w,
like his heart's steady thump.
i'll take my leave,
i'll raise a hand, wave goodbye.
it's too early for tears,
but not too late to cry.
(no matter what i say aloud, i sold my soul to that september.)
2. My name is _____ because ______.
Alejandra, because....well, my parents both liked the name a lot. My mom actually wanted to go with Alexandra (her name is Alicia, pronounced Ah-lee-see-ah) and so she knows what it's like to get your name mispronounced all the time. My dad, on the other hand is named Bill, so he was all for the "exotic" name. He claims that he wanted to keep the tradition of giving the girls in the family Spanish names (my grandmother, Mita, is Cuban, and all the girls in mom's family got Spanish names).
My last name is Taylor...um, because some relative of mine in the far distant past was a tailor? *cough* I have no idea.
3. My journal is titled ____ because ____.
"and if memory serves I'm addicted to words" because it's one of my favorite of lyrics of all time--it's from the Motion City Soundtrack song "Let's Get F*cked Up and Die." Also, I am addicted to words, which I think is obvious by the sheer length of most of my entries.
4. My journal subtitle is ____ because ____.
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." --Sir Winston Churchill. I love it because it's my senior quote, and it just kind of speaks to my love of writing again. My sister actually read it at school and came home and told me I should use it for my senior quote, so I'm kind of fond of it. :]
5. My friends page is called ____ because ____.
"amigos" because I was...uh, really unoriginal? I don't know, I just kinda like using the Spanish word for friends. xD
6. My default userpic is ____ because ____.
My 'I <3 SPN" icon, because I do heart SPN, and it's an awesome pic of Dean. :D
Ganked from the lovely
penny_lane_42:
1. Bold the names of guys you'd definitely shag.
2. Italicize the names of guys you might shag after a little persuasion.
3. Leave the guys who don't do anything for you alone.
4. Put a question mark after the guys you've never heard of.
5. Strike the guys you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.
6. ADD FOUR OF YOUR OWN AT THE END.
1.) Dr. Christian Troy (Nip/Tuck, tv) ?
2.) Mike Delfino (Desperate Housewives, tv) ?
3.) Dr. Gregory House (House, MD, tv) Ok, so he's old, and bitter, and a completely horrible person....but he IS hot. And his eyes are blue. And at least he's really, really smart and witty, right? *cough*
4.) Warrick Brown (CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, tv) ?
5. Dr. Derek Shepherd (Grey's Anatomy) Once again, not overly fond of his personality, but he is McDreamy, and he does have a moral conscience.
6.) Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo (NCIS, tv) ?
7.) Jim Halpert (The Office, tv) OMG. In a heartbeat, no questions asked. He is so freaking adorable.
8.) James 'Sawyer' Ford (Lost, tv) Ahahaha, totally. Sawyer cracks me up, and he really is the best looking guy on that show.
9.) Danny Taylor (Without A Trace, tv) ?
10.) Derek Morgan (Criminal Minds, tv) ?
11.) Noah Bennet (Heroes, tv) Um, HRG? NO WAY. I think he's pretty awesome, really, but...just, uh, NO.
12.) Michael Scofield (Prison Break, tv) I don't watch this show, but he is hot!
13.) Dr. John ‘J.D.’ Dorian (Scrubs, tv) ?
14.) Sam Winchester (Supernatural, tv) I'm going with
penny_lane_42when I say that I love all my Winchester men. No way could I say no to Sammy, especially not if he gave me the Puppy-Dog Eyes.
15.) Chandler Bing (Friends, tv) ? I've seen an ep of Friends before, but I don't lknow the characters.
16.) Jack Bauer (24, tv) ?
17.) Jason Bourne ( The Bourne Identity, movie) Lol, sure. Matt Damon is pretty, at least.
18.) Westley (The Princess Bride, movie) I think this sums it up: "AS YOU WIIIIIIIIISH!"
19.) Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean, movie) No self-respecting straight/bisexual female should answer no to this.
20.) Rusty Ryan (Ocean’s 11, movie) Um, HELL YES.
21) Detective Mac Taylor (CSI:NY, tv) ?
22.) Detective Danny Messer (CSI: NY, tv) ?
23.) Sheriff Jack Carter (EUReKA, tv) ?
24.) Dr. Nathan Stark (EUReKA, tv) ?
25.) Jonathan Creek (Jonathan Creek, tv) ?
26.) Dr. James Wilson (House, MD, tv) I love Wilson, and I think the actor who plays him is amazing, but....uhh, I 've mentioned before how he is basically my dad's doppleganger. Sorry, Wilson, NO EFFING WAY.
27.) Mark Corrigan (Peep Show, tv) ?
28.) Fitzwilliam Darcy (Pride and Prejudice, tv, book and movie) Even if you've never seen the movie or read the book, believe me. YOU WANT TO.
29.) Jools Siviter (Spooks a/k/a MI5, tv) ?
30.) Captain Jack Harkness (Dr. Who/Torchwood, tv) ? I want to see Torchwood, lol. It sounds like the kind of show I'd adore.
31.) Danny Ocean (Ocean's 11, movie) Oh yes. George Clooney. And how much did I love his brilliant heist?
32.) Jack Bristow (Alias. tv) ?
33.) Dr. Owen Harper (Torchwood, tv) ?
34.) The Doctor (Doctor Who, tv) ?
35.) Commodore James Norrington (Pirates of the Carribean, movies) Lol, the guy just doesn't do much for me, really. He's a cutie, though.
36.) Nathan Petrelli (Heroes, tv) Ehhh....no.
37.) John Winchester (Supernatural, tv) I know I said I love my Winchester boys, and I do! It's just that I have some serious Daddy Issues with John. He's still so fine, though, and he is pretty kick-ass....I could probably be talked around lmao.
38.) Eric Delko (CSI: Miami, tv) ?
39.) Rick Simon (Simon & Simon, tv) ?
40.) Ardeth Bay (The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, movies) ?
41.) Withnail (Withnail & I, movie) ?
42.) Gene Hunt (Life on Mars, tv) ?
43.) Dean Winchester (Supernatural, tv) Dean gets underlined because seriously? He is the one guy on this list I really would NEVER say no to, lol.
44.) Giles (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, tv) ? I know I should watch this show. Any self respecting Joss fan should. *facepalm*
45.) Mick St. John (Moonlight, tv) ?
46.) Mr. Big (Sex and the City, tv) ?
47.) Henry Fitzroy (Blood Ties, tv) ?
48.) Tim Riggins (Friday Night Lights,tv) Oh, Tim. I love him, I really do, but he is such a man-whore. I'd be afraid of contracting all of the STDs he must have, but if persuaded, I'd probably manage to forget my worries lol.
49.) Peter Petrelli (Heroes, tv) He used to be my favorite, but he started to annoy me at the end of the first season/beginning of season two. Maybe if he got some of his old sweetness back.....:D
50.) Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars,tv) I want to marry Logan Echolls and take care of him and love him and shag him and just generally make him happy. Yeah.<--Not if I do all that first,
penny_lane_42!
51.) Rodney McKay (SGA, tv) ?
52.) Chris Keller (Oz, tv) ?
53.) Mohinder Suresh (Heroes, tv) Oh, hell yes. He is fine.
54.) John Sheppard (SGA, tv) ?
55.) Dr. Daniel Jackson (SG-1, tv) ?
56.) Alec McDowell (Dark Angel, tv) ? I've never seen the show, but I so very completely love Jensen Ackles that I know I would say yes.
57.) Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, tv) ?
58.) Priestly (Ten Inch Hero, movie) ? Once again, never seen this movie, but yeah. JENSEN ACKLES.
59.) Jason Teague (Smallville, tv) ? This is getting embarrasing. Don't know the character...but....but....JENSEN ACKLES!!!!!!! Aghhhh.
60.) Angelus (BtVS, Angel, tv)
61.) Logan/Wolverine (X-Men, movie)
62.) Jess Mariano (Gilmore Girls, tv) Um, hot bad boy who loves literature and is a big softie deep down inside? Count me in. :D
64.) Harold Saxon/The Master (Doctor Who, tv) ?
66.) Steven Hyde (That 70's Show, tv)
67. Cassidy Casablancas (Veronica Mars, tv) Cute as he is--or as I thought he was--no. Just....no.
68. Mason (Dead Like Me, tv)
69. Robbie Turner (Atonement, movie) ?
70. Derek Reese (Sarah Connor Chronicles, tv) ?
71.) Malcolm Reynolds (Firefly, tv) OMG HELL YES.
72.) Adam Monroe (Heroes, tv) He's pretty hot, but he doesn't do much for me. *shrug*
73.) Leto II (Children of Dune, miniseries) ?
74.) Tommy Donnelly (The Black Donnellys, tv) ?
75) Matt Serasen (Friday Night Lights, tv) I think shy boys are cute, ok? Plus, he needs some lovin'!
76. Paulie Bleaker (Juno, movie) Oh yes. He's too cute for words, and I love Michael Cera.
77. Simon Tam (Firefly, tv) I love Simon so much.
78. Weevil (Veronica Mars, tv) I seriously think Weevil is one of the best characters on that show. He's amazing!!
Well, I think I'm off to watch a movie with my sister, but I'll be back later. I'm so glad it's Friday.