word of god speak. . .
So yesterday I went for a nice walk around the lake with my mom, and found out something that completely took me off my on top of the world feeling that I got at graduation, and gave me a pits of hell feeling. I found out that my girlfriend Alayna has a heart problem, for which the doctor's don't have a cure, and she could be gone very soon. I am not worried about her because I know that her heart is in the right place, and that she will be with God if it happens, but I ask myself, she may be ready to be with God, but am I ready for her to be with God? And what makes it hurt worse is that she is trying to hide it from me. What if she were to go tomorrow or something, and my mom had never had told me, I would not have known, nor been prepared. All I would have known is that my girlfriend is gone. I keep running through the worst in my head, and just think, "what would I do? How would I react?" I honestly don't know what to do right now. . .maybe I'm stupid, maybe the answer is right there, but I just don't see it. And when I say that I don't know what to do, I mean what would I do if anything were to happen. . .I am just one big jumbled mess right now, I can't even express how I feel. I think that maybe I should post again when my thoughts are straight.