(no subject)
So that's it.
I finally made my roots and made best friends and was finally happy at Valdosta.
And then I screwed up...again.
I wrecked another car.
So my mom is transferring me someplace closer to home.
I'm almost tempted to fail all of my classes this semester so that I can't get in anywhere else and I can just spend next semester trying to get acting jobs in Atlanta.
I can't do this again.
It was too hard to get adjusted. To make good friends. To figure everything out.
These people are my life. And I am going to fall apart without them.
Jarrett: My number one gangsta. Met you at orientation. Became best friends a couple months ago. You were there for me every time. My favorite smoking buddy. Never failing to make me laugh and cheer me up. Never a bad time hanging out with you. Your impressions. Making me laugh so hard I puked...and pooted. OH SHIT...no really. YIP! Wrong fuckin' deli! Nope. BAHHHH! Pretty much anything we ever said together made me so happy to be here and friends with you. Before I knew you I hated it here and I spent every day waiting to leave because I was so miserable. Now I can't stand the thought of not seeing you every day and smoking like motherfuckin' chimneys. You made me feel alive. You showed me the girl I really was. You helped me grow out of the shell I've been molded into by my mom. You are my everything. I'll never ever forget you and I won't have to because you're just up the street! I love you.
Julie: My number one balla! I always have issues being friends with girls who haven't known me since my middle school days but you definately changed that for me. I've only been friends with you for a few weeks and already you know everything about me. You showed me that it's alright to be a goof and I don't always have to be a badass. It's okay to be a girly girl every now and then. You loaned me underwear in my time of crisis. We have a child together! You made out with me in the bushes! You understand me more than anyone about my mom. I love that we can make a joke out of anything and be crazy one minute and have a heart to heart the next. You make me feel so comfortable and happy with myself. You're my best girlfriend here and I am so thankful for everything you did for me. I love you.
Michael: This other kid over here. I don't know exactly how you became one of my best friends. Maybe it's because I keep you up all night every night with me doing absolutely nothing. I spend half my time begging you not to leave and the other half having the time of my life. Maybe you don't realize how close you are to me. Just because you were one of the only people I felt like I could say anything to and not be embarrassed. That's a huge thing for me. One of my biggest fears is feeling vulnerable and all I ever am is vulnerable around you. But for some reason it doesn't bother me. You helped me get over two of my fears: holding hands and we discussed the other one last night by the fountain. You helped me get past an image that I had cemented for myself. You helped me move on from the prude little innocent girl I'd always spent so much time trying to be. And although you don't ever call or answer my calls I hope we can stay friends because you mean a lot to me and you'll always be in my heart. I love you.
Hannah: My muffin. You've been my best friend from the first day. Keeping me somewhat in line. Making sure i don't screw up too badly. I'm only sorry I didn't listen to you more. You always know what to say and you are so wise. You motivate me to push on, keep moving and not get caught up by the problems in life. You reminded me that boys aren't going to make me happy, my mom doesn't control me, and that there'll always be someone there. You're the only one who knows my family and therefore you fully understand what I mean when I talk about them. You're almost like my big sister because you watch out for me and hold my hand when I cry and are always by my side telling me it'll be okay. You've seen me at some of my worst, pathetic, immature moments and you still don't treat me like I'm 5. You convinced me that I wasn't a slut and helped me move on. You're my family. I love you.
I hope I can survive without these people. It feels like I'm a table about to lose my legs. They've been my support for so long....
This is really hard.
I finally made my roots and made best friends and was finally happy at Valdosta.
And then I screwed up...again.
I wrecked another car.
So my mom is transferring me someplace closer to home.
I'm almost tempted to fail all of my classes this semester so that I can't get in anywhere else and I can just spend next semester trying to get acting jobs in Atlanta.
I can't do this again.
It was too hard to get adjusted. To make good friends. To figure everything out.
These people are my life. And I am going to fall apart without them.
Jarrett: My number one gangsta. Met you at orientation. Became best friends a couple months ago. You were there for me every time. My favorite smoking buddy. Never failing to make me laugh and cheer me up. Never a bad time hanging out with you. Your impressions. Making me laugh so hard I puked...and pooted. OH SHIT...no really. YIP! Wrong fuckin' deli! Nope. BAHHHH! Pretty much anything we ever said together made me so happy to be here and friends with you. Before I knew you I hated it here and I spent every day waiting to leave because I was so miserable. Now I can't stand the thought of not seeing you every day and smoking like motherfuckin' chimneys. You made me feel alive. You showed me the girl I really was. You helped me grow out of the shell I've been molded into by my mom. You are my everything. I'll never ever forget you and I won't have to because you're just up the street! I love you.
Julie: My number one balla! I always have issues being friends with girls who haven't known me since my middle school days but you definately changed that for me. I've only been friends with you for a few weeks and already you know everything about me. You showed me that it's alright to be a goof and I don't always have to be a badass. It's okay to be a girly girl every now and then. You loaned me underwear in my time of crisis. We have a child together! You made out with me in the bushes! You understand me more than anyone about my mom. I love that we can make a joke out of anything and be crazy one minute and have a heart to heart the next. You make me feel so comfortable and happy with myself. You're my best girlfriend here and I am so thankful for everything you did for me. I love you.
Michael: This other kid over here. I don't know exactly how you became one of my best friends. Maybe it's because I keep you up all night every night with me doing absolutely nothing. I spend half my time begging you not to leave and the other half having the time of my life. Maybe you don't realize how close you are to me. Just because you were one of the only people I felt like I could say anything to and not be embarrassed. That's a huge thing for me. One of my biggest fears is feeling vulnerable and all I ever am is vulnerable around you. But for some reason it doesn't bother me. You helped me get over two of my fears: holding hands and we discussed the other one last night by the fountain. You helped me get past an image that I had cemented for myself. You helped me move on from the prude little innocent girl I'd always spent so much time trying to be. And although you don't ever call or answer my calls I hope we can stay friends because you mean a lot to me and you'll always be in my heart. I love you.
Hannah: My muffin. You've been my best friend from the first day. Keeping me somewhat in line. Making sure i don't screw up too badly. I'm only sorry I didn't listen to you more. You always know what to say and you are so wise. You motivate me to push on, keep moving and not get caught up by the problems in life. You reminded me that boys aren't going to make me happy, my mom doesn't control me, and that there'll always be someone there. You're the only one who knows my family and therefore you fully understand what I mean when I talk about them. You're almost like my big sister because you watch out for me and hold my hand when I cry and are always by my side telling me it'll be okay. You've seen me at some of my worst, pathetic, immature moments and you still don't treat me like I'm 5. You convinced me that I wasn't a slut and helped me move on. You're my family. I love you.
I hope I can survive without these people. It feels like I'm a table about to lose my legs. They've been my support for so long....
This is really hard.