(no subject)

[that_good_girl]

Love.
I can't compete with that.
Love was meant to conquer all.

So I have lost the one thing I was proud of, the one thing my mom was still proud of.

I always imagined perfection. I always imagined being special.

I feel so alone.

I haven't felt this worthless and used since my dad told me that he didn't want a family anymore in a typed letter he left in our neighbor's mailbox.

I was never worth it to anyone.
I'll always come in second.
I'll never, ever be good enough.
No matter what I do.

So what do I do now?
What do I believe?
He didn't care at all?

I move on.
I've done it before.
It's not like I haven't been seconded before.
It's not like I'm ever good enough....my entire high school career I was never "that girl." I will never be the girl a guy points at when he's talking about the amazing girl he just met.
I'll never be the girl in pink. Or the girl that gave a guy the best year of his life. Or the one they wake up and can't wait to see. Someone they would go miles out of their way to see.

I'm stuck in the "friend zone."

But it's okay.
I can keep my chin up.
I'm overexaggerating.
It's not like it was love.
And I have no regrets.

It was something fleeting. Something beautiful.
But I'm not worth enough to stand in the way of true love.
So I'll stand back and let it grow.