The sun is lovely and the cold is lonely.
It's been so cold. I don't remember the cold ever getting to me the way it does these days.
So I'm not even back in school, but I'm already stressing. The junior 1's really scared the shit out of me about school when I get back. Actually, I'M a ju ni or 1 now, technically. Anyway, I should have been reading up on stuff and been doing some serious practicing, and I haven't. And I just realized today that I'm gonna have next to zero time for the rest of break to practice. Bad student on my part. I re all y wanna be the best. -Perfect. And only practice makes perfect. Right?! Heh. For some reason I thought this year was gonna have no stress involved. I don't know why I had that idea in my mind. Just cause it's cosmetology, it doesn't make it any less hard. School is school. I guess it's the right kind of stress though...it's stress as a result of my hard work....:) or sometimes the lack of. But in the end, it's cause I'm motivated. So, yeah. *sigh*
I've been super unsocial this break. I only noticed cause my mom flat out told me so today. I just kinda stopped and thought about it for a sec, and I have. Not returning phone calls or e-mails, not going to get togethers, or parties, or hangin out with people that aren't normally in town. *sigh* I dunno. Actually, ya know what? I DO know.
I dated Chris for a few months, but, as I always do, I lost that special interest in him and broke up with him the night before the last day of school. So it's just been....lonely this break, ya know? It was nice having someone again...feeling the love he has for me, having him call just so I can come over and cuddle at the end of the ni ght, having a voicemail in the morning wishing me a nice day, having a special someone I wanna call right before I go to bed. Shit. It's corny, sure...but true.
-Not to mention that I miss him...I don't miss being with him, but I mIss him. And I understand, but it still sucks that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. "If I need him, he's there for me, but otherwise......"
I don't know why, but it's really hit me lately that it just might be a really, REally long time before I fall head over heels in love. And it's kinda depressing, ya know? It makes this cold weather hurt.b
So I'm not even back in school, but I'm already stressing. The junior 1's really scared the shit out of me about school when I get back. Actually, I'M a ju ni or 1 now, technically. Anyway, I should have been reading up on stuff and been doing some serious practicing, and I haven't. And I just realized today that I'm gonna have next to zero time for the rest of break to practice. Bad student on my part. I re all y wanna be the best. -Perfect. And only practice makes perfect. Right?! Heh. For some reason I thought this year was gonna have no stress involved. I don't know why I had that idea in my mind. Just cause it's cosmetology, it doesn't make it any less hard. School is school. I guess it's the right kind of stress though...it's stress as a result of my hard work....:) or sometimes the lack of. But in the end, it's cause I'm motivated. So, yeah. *sigh*
I've been super unsocial this break. I only noticed cause my mom flat out told me so today. I just kinda stopped and thought about it for a sec, and I have. Not returning phone calls or e-mails, not going to get togethers, or parties, or hangin out with people that aren't normally in town. *sigh* I dunno. Actually, ya know what? I DO know.
I dated Chris for a few months, but, as I always do, I lost that special interest in him and broke up with him the night before the last day of school. So it's just been....lonely this break, ya know? It was nice having someone again...feeling the love he has for me, having him call just so I can come over and cuddle at the end of the ni ght, having a voicemail in the morning wishing me a nice day, having a special someone I wanna call right before I go to bed. Shit. It's corny, sure...but true.
-Not to mention that I miss him...I don't miss being with him, but I mIss him. And I understand, but it still sucks that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. "If I need him, he's there for me, but otherwise......"
I don't know why, but it's really hit me lately that it just might be a really, REally long time before I fall head over heels in love. And it's kinda depressing, ya know? It makes this cold weather hurt.b