Is that an alien by my left ovary? And is it wearing a pink-beaded scrunchie?
WARNING- The squeamish, prudish and all men should think twice before reading this post.
So last week I went for my first annual GYN check-up since coming to Thailand.(I told you!) Only 3 months late in the once a year schedule...I was procrastinating. I loved my wonderful OB-GYN in MD. She was everything that was good about the yearly heels in the air, think about England debacle. I had seen her for 12 years. So on the advice of other ladies at work I went to see a male! GYN at S--- Hospital (see a previous post re: doctors in Bangkok). The Information Desk was very helpful in helping me find the Women's Center. One lady walked me to the appropriate building. Since this is Bangkok, as we cross the driveway, an attendant walks us across with a large golf umbrella to keep us in the shade and one of the valets blows his whistle and stops traffic. I sit in the lounge reading today's paper and listening to a Thai "drama" on the plasma and drinking the free green tea. I am called in to see Dr. S. right on time!!!! and give him a abbreviated med. history. His office is also the examining room. The nurse stays with me to help fold my pants and provides me with a plastic bag for my underwear before tucking everything in a drawer. I get a sheet and to keep my shirt and bra on...confusing at the moment, but explained later. So, Dr. S. comes around the curtain and asks my permission before he does anything. So polite! General pap smear, then he drops the bomb that now we would get an ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries. And whips out what I swear is the world's largest "massager" Friends and I bought a vibrator for a gift for a bridal shower that was smaller. I was thankful I was not a virgin. Dr. S directs my attention to the plasma TV on the wall in front of the exam table. Wow there was the shot I had seen only in friend's pregnancy ultrasounds sans baby. I did ask "it is empty isn't it?" just in case a miracle had happened or there was something I had missed the night I got drunk at Bed Supperclub. Dr. S is happily circling things on screen and telling me about my uterus, then he turns from a 50 something DR. to a 16 yr-old boy and I swear he starts shifting the 'wand' like its an X-box joystick. "and here (shift shift shift) is your right ovary" (for the uber-interested that one is releasing an egg in a week) "and here (shift shift oh forgot to clutch shift) is your left ovary. I stare in horror at what appears to be a pulsing alien head next to my left ovary. I point this out to Dr. S. who informs me it is a blood vessel and normal though in an unusual place. He happily measures it as well as the other ovary, shifts back to the uterus to add some more detail. After I get dressed they send me off for a mammogram (baseline at my age for later) No 2 week waits as in the US. The technician asked if my boobs were real as they were big. Then another technician and Dr did an ultrasound of the boobs. Luckily with a conventional slider. It was the day of the innards pictures. Results in an hour and all for a total price of ~ 200 US. 90% of which will be picked up by my international insurance. I find out from Y. at work that Dr. S. just got the new personal office ultrasound/computer/plasma hook-up last month and is very enthralled with it.
On a different note, Denise you will need to bring a 2 x 4. I have surrendered to the sparkly and other hair accessories. Last week I was buying more scrunchy band things to match various colors I wear. I was standing in front of the pink section (most Thai department stores separate hair bits into color sections) and caught myself thinking " ...a beaded pink one, but tasteful!) At which point I started to laugh at myself as if anything pink, beaded, for ponytails could be tasteful. So now I have sparkly scrunchies, barrettes, bobby pins, bands, alice bands, banana clips. I caught myself contemplating shoes with rhinestones today. Hopefully I will not come back wearing Hello Kitty. Perhaps I need rehab now? Asian Cute syndrome must be transmitted as an aerosol.
So last week I went for my first annual GYN check-up since coming to Thailand.(I told you!) Only 3 months late in the once a year schedule...I was procrastinating. I loved my wonderful OB-GYN in MD. She was everything that was good about the yearly heels in the air, think about England debacle. I had seen her for 12 years. So on the advice of other ladies at work I went to see a male! GYN at S--- Hospital (see a previous post re: doctors in Bangkok). The Information Desk was very helpful in helping me find the Women's Center. One lady walked me to the appropriate building. Since this is Bangkok, as we cross the driveway, an attendant walks us across with a large golf umbrella to keep us in the shade and one of the valets blows his whistle and stops traffic. I sit in the lounge reading today's paper and listening to a Thai "drama" on the plasma and drinking the free green tea. I am called in to see Dr. S. right on time!!!! and give him a abbreviated med. history. His office is also the examining room. The nurse stays with me to help fold my pants and provides me with a plastic bag for my underwear before tucking everything in a drawer. I get a sheet and to keep my shirt and bra on...confusing at the moment, but explained later. So, Dr. S. comes around the curtain and asks my permission before he does anything. So polite! General pap smear, then he drops the bomb that now we would get an ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries. And whips out what I swear is the world's largest "massager" Friends and I bought a vibrator for a gift for a bridal shower that was smaller. I was thankful I was not a virgin. Dr. S directs my attention to the plasma TV on the wall in front of the exam table. Wow there was the shot I had seen only in friend's pregnancy ultrasounds sans baby. I did ask "it is empty isn't it?" just in case a miracle had happened or there was something I had missed the night I got drunk at Bed Supperclub. Dr. S is happily circling things on screen and telling me about my uterus, then he turns from a 50 something DR. to a 16 yr-old boy and I swear he starts shifting the 'wand' like its an X-box joystick. "and here (shift shift shift) is your right ovary" (for the uber-interested that one is releasing an egg in a week) "and here (shift shift oh forgot to clutch shift) is your left ovary. I stare in horror at what appears to be a pulsing alien head next to my left ovary. I point this out to Dr. S. who informs me it is a blood vessel and normal though in an unusual place. He happily measures it as well as the other ovary, shifts back to the uterus to add some more detail. After I get dressed they send me off for a mammogram (baseline at my age for later) No 2 week waits as in the US. The technician asked if my boobs were real as they were big. Then another technician and Dr did an ultrasound of the boobs. Luckily with a conventional slider. It was the day of the innards pictures. Results in an hour and all for a total price of ~ 200 US. 90% of which will be picked up by my international insurance. I find out from Y. at work that Dr. S. just got the new personal office ultrasound/computer/plasma hook-up last month and is very enthralled with it.
On a different note, Denise you will need to bring a 2 x 4. I have surrendered to the sparkly and other hair accessories. Last week I was buying more scrunchy band things to match various colors I wear. I was standing in front of the pink section (most Thai department stores separate hair bits into color sections) and caught myself thinking " ...a beaded pink one, but tasteful!) At which point I started to laugh at myself as if anything pink, beaded, for ponytails could be tasteful. So now I have sparkly scrunchies, barrettes, bobby pins, bands, alice bands, banana clips. I caught myself contemplating shoes with rhinestones today. Hopefully I will not come back wearing Hello Kitty. Perhaps I need rehab now? Asian Cute syndrome must be transmitted as an aerosol.