One Year
Exactly one year ago today I wrote in my personal diary, "One thing I'm realising is that this transgender thing isn't going away. I don't know what to do about it - I don't know what I want to do about it - but I think I need to deal with it."
A year later, I can't believe how much has changed. I'm living as a man full time and have come out to almost everyone I know, with very little upset or angst in the end. I've been on testosterone for eight and a half months. My marriage has shifted into a friendship, but it did so amicably - with regret rather than blame. I'm legally male on my ID, and I just need to fulfill the publication requirement to complete my name change. I've managed to get off of my antidepressants and I've decided to go back to school.
And I'm more content than I've ever been. I feel more settled into my life, more confident and more at peace with myself than I could have imagined a year ago. Without a doubt, transition has been the best decision I've made. It feels good to look back over the past year, and I wish there were a way I could go back to that me of a year ago, when I was cofused and hurting and terrified, and tell him that it is all going to be okay.
A year later, I can't believe how much has changed. I'm living as a man full time and have come out to almost everyone I know, with very little upset or angst in the end. I've been on testosterone for eight and a half months. My marriage has shifted into a friendship, but it did so amicably - with regret rather than blame. I'm legally male on my ID, and I just need to fulfill the publication requirement to complete my name change. I've managed to get off of my antidepressants and I've decided to go back to school.
And I'm more content than I've ever been. I feel more settled into my life, more confident and more at peace with myself than I could have imagined a year ago. Without a doubt, transition has been the best decision I've made. It feels good to look back over the past year, and I wish there were a way I could go back to that me of a year ago, when I was cofused and hurting and terrified, and tell him that it is all going to be okay.