Back from Cancun
Cancun was "not too shabby" - and two moments were definitely worth writing about. Here they are:
1) My boobs popped out while I was doing my spastic dancing.
Yes, I was singing "American Idiot" and bouncing around, basically having a good time, when my halter came undone. Since halter tops have built-in bras, out came the boobs, flashing around 1,000 people.
Needless to say, I felt like Janet Jackson.
2) Now, if you thought THAT was embarrassing, I have a much worse story to tell. The boob thing honestly didn't phase me that much - I was shocked, I was embarrassed, but I found it utterly hilarious. What I'm about to spill is something I can laugh about and make fun of now, but at the time, it felt absolutely terrifying.
So what happened, anyway?
I got piss drunk in Cancun. I don't mean a little tipsy. I don't mean drunk, even. I mean PLA-A-A-A-A-STERED. We're talking 13+ drinks here (I remember losing track after 13).
See, some people were drinking at the bar in the morning, and I was to leave that afternoon. I was really bored, and thought it might be fun to be drunk before I left. I had plenty of time, and I wanted to make sure I was DRUNK. (The furthest I've ever gotten was more than a little tipsy but functional. I didn't have any of that odd drunken bliss that many people encountered when drunk... ever... so I figured I must have never gotten drunk enough.) I also wanted to test my limits and see what I could do in Cancun, while I still had tons of free alcohol and an endless supply of interesting mixed drinks.
Everyone was nice to me from what I recall, but I think they pitied me when I was drunk too much to be mean. Here are some of the events that happened:
-Getting tired of all the drinks
-Asking the bartender for Corona after all the mixed drinks, and he said "Corona no good". So I asked him what his favorite mixed drink was, and told him to make that for me. It was some kind of orange thing.
-Looking in the mirror, wondering if I was prettier when drunk
-Realizing I was uglier when drunk
-Puking on everyone
-Bumping into random objects and falling
-Sobering up and realizing I had a little bruise on my face. Oh jeez.
-Everyone asking me if I was ok
-Thanking them for that
-Apologizing profusely
-Feeling completely helpless
-Praying hail Mary's and saying "I bet God is mad at me." and "I'm usually a good kid. I'm a good Christian girl. I go to church every Sunday. I'm so sorry God!" And then, "I'm not 21. You can't do this in the US."
-Puking again
-Falling asleep on a chair
-Changing my clothes in the bathroom with the maid. She got to see me in a THONG.
-Hearing everyone asking me how much I drank
-Telling them I couldn't remember
-Wondering if I had alcohol poisoning
-Drunkenly misplacing my key to the hotel
-Giving the hotel $10 for this and forcing them to take it, so I wouldn't have to search
-Letting the hotel staff search my purse for it
-Realizing it was in my pocket when I was sober
-Sitting here, where I am now, being sober, and thanking God for sobriety.
I think I'm going to avoid alcohol for awhile :P
1) My boobs popped out while I was doing my spastic dancing.
Yes, I was singing "American Idiot" and bouncing around, basically having a good time, when my halter came undone. Since halter tops have built-in bras, out came the boobs, flashing around 1,000 people.
Needless to say, I felt like Janet Jackson.
2) Now, if you thought THAT was embarrassing, I have a much worse story to tell. The boob thing honestly didn't phase me that much - I was shocked, I was embarrassed, but I found it utterly hilarious. What I'm about to spill is something I can laugh about and make fun of now, but at the time, it felt absolutely terrifying.
So what happened, anyway?
I got piss drunk in Cancun. I don't mean a little tipsy. I don't mean drunk, even. I mean PLA-A-A-A-A-STERED. We're talking 13+ drinks here (I remember losing track after 13).
See, some people were drinking at the bar in the morning, and I was to leave that afternoon. I was really bored, and thought it might be fun to be drunk before I left. I had plenty of time, and I wanted to make sure I was DRUNK. (The furthest I've ever gotten was more than a little tipsy but functional. I didn't have any of that odd drunken bliss that many people encountered when drunk... ever... so I figured I must have never gotten drunk enough.) I also wanted to test my limits and see what I could do in Cancun, while I still had tons of free alcohol and an endless supply of interesting mixed drinks.
Everyone was nice to me from what I recall, but I think they pitied me when I was drunk too much to be mean. Here are some of the events that happened:
-Getting tired of all the drinks
-Asking the bartender for Corona after all the mixed drinks, and he said "Corona no good". So I asked him what his favorite mixed drink was, and told him to make that for me. It was some kind of orange thing.
-Looking in the mirror, wondering if I was prettier when drunk
-Realizing I was uglier when drunk
-Puking on everyone
-Bumping into random objects and falling
-Sobering up and realizing I had a little bruise on my face. Oh jeez.
-Everyone asking me if I was ok
-Thanking them for that
-Apologizing profusely
-Feeling completely helpless
-Praying hail Mary's and saying "I bet God is mad at me." and "I'm usually a good kid. I'm a good Christian girl. I go to church every Sunday. I'm so sorry God!" And then, "I'm not 21. You can't do this in the US."
-Puking again
-Falling asleep on a chair
-Changing my clothes in the bathroom with the maid. She got to see me in a THONG.
-Hearing everyone asking me how much I drank
-Telling them I couldn't remember
-Wondering if I had alcohol poisoning
-Drunkenly misplacing my key to the hotel
-Giving the hotel $10 for this and forcing them to take it, so I wouldn't have to search
-Letting the hotel staff search my purse for it
-Realizing it was in my pocket when I was sober
-Sitting here, where I am now, being sober, and thanking God for sobriety.
I think I'm going to avoid alcohol for awhile :P