lengthy rant.
hectic and suchlike
mom's been in and out of the hospital the past two weeks. she's been to like 3 so far and is supposed to be coming home again tomorrow... we hope.
i got a guinea pig. his name's amadeus dweebly. lol amadeus cus he looks like a rock star (rock me amadeus) and dweebly cus he's got this dweebiness to his rocker look... and cus the silly piggy ran straight into a footstool. tristan's calling him squish face, even though he hasnt seen him yet. he's sposed to visit tomorrow.
all my finals are done and all my papers are handed in. i think i did well. i should have at least a 3.2... i hope. a three at the very least.
i'm going home on monday. alex is driving me. maybe this time i'll actually get to see my friends.
cory got married. yeah take a minute to take that in... it took me a few days. My one true love, the love of my life, the man i wanted to be with forever... he got married, to some one who isn't me. and there's not a damned thing i can do about it, except wait till he visits (he's visiting with his wife, who i will ask to wait in the car... i dont want to meet her or know her. i dont care - call me bitch or what have you, but i dont want her in the house... sore loser right? no. i just dont wanna hit her.) and get my stuff & money back (hahaha right...) he's also having a kid, not with her (not yet anyway) - no 2... twins. this from the guy who said he was too busy to have a girlfriend, who said he loved me, who said a lot of things i still believe to be true though evidence contradicts his statements.
happier note - erich's visiting after christmas. i cant wait. i really really miss him. got to talk to him online the other day-that was weird. the fool jumped out of a plane during training with his phone in his back pocket and then landed on it. dumbass. i miss him so much.
i'm working things out with ppl. i'm taking a step back and being a participating observer. it's hard sometimes, but it's actually the best thing for me right now. i'm realizing that even though i desperately want to be a part of so many people's lives, i can't be. that eventually (say in a year and a half) i will be moving away from them as we move on to bigger and better things. i dont know where i'm going - my top three grad schools as of right now are nottingham-trent(ENGLAND!), rosemont(pennsylvania), and emerson (massachussettes). i looked at a couple in NY, and nothing fits. mom's gonna want me to go to rosemont b/c PA is closer... but i dont see myself being happy so close to home. i told drea, days before i met cory, that i think where my future lies is in england, that that's where i'll find the man i'll get to settle down with.
my biological clock is ticking, you have no idea. i want to get married and have a family. My guinea pig should help suppress that for awhile.
it doesnt feel like there's a year and a half left for me in oswego. i have senioritis and i'm not even a second semester junior yet. i just feel like i'm done here. that i need to start moving on... but i think the moving on is in my personal life. i need to start going out, i need to find ppl to go out with. i need to fuck around... to enjoy college for a little while.
next semester's gonna be hell. i'm starting business courses - i've never taken one before, and from how people talk about it, it's gonna be difficult. i'm still gonna be part of SAPB and the movie theater (March Magic Harry Potter Marathon to plan) and COPE and Habitat. I just joined the yearbook, and i think i might be joining Great Lake Review (the school's literary magazine) as an editor. And, i've got a guinea pig to take care of AND i need to find some place else to live next year (not next semester) cus erica doesn't want to stay in this apartment (and i kinda don't either) but i can't go back on campus - i'd have to go home for breaks, and i can't do that - i'll kill myself first. but i need to start calling and such... o, and next semester, i need to schedule and take my road test and pass it. i need to be legal to drive, and i need to have a valid ID for when i turn 21 or else i can't go out to drink. joy.
all right. i'm done.
mom's been in and out of the hospital the past two weeks. she's been to like 3 so far and is supposed to be coming home again tomorrow... we hope.
i got a guinea pig. his name's amadeus dweebly. lol amadeus cus he looks like a rock star (rock me amadeus) and dweebly cus he's got this dweebiness to his rocker look... and cus the silly piggy ran straight into a footstool. tristan's calling him squish face, even though he hasnt seen him yet. he's sposed to visit tomorrow.
all my finals are done and all my papers are handed in. i think i did well. i should have at least a 3.2... i hope. a three at the very least.
i'm going home on monday. alex is driving me. maybe this time i'll actually get to see my friends.
cory got married. yeah take a minute to take that in... it took me a few days. My one true love, the love of my life, the man i wanted to be with forever... he got married, to some one who isn't me. and there's not a damned thing i can do about it, except wait till he visits (he's visiting with his wife, who i will ask to wait in the car... i dont want to meet her or know her. i dont care - call me bitch or what have you, but i dont want her in the house... sore loser right? no. i just dont wanna hit her.) and get my stuff & money back (hahaha right...) he's also having a kid, not with her (not yet anyway) - no 2... twins. this from the guy who said he was too busy to have a girlfriend, who said he loved me, who said a lot of things i still believe to be true though evidence contradicts his statements.
happier note - erich's visiting after christmas. i cant wait. i really really miss him. got to talk to him online the other day-that was weird. the fool jumped out of a plane during training with his phone in his back pocket and then landed on it. dumbass. i miss him so much.
i'm working things out with ppl. i'm taking a step back and being a participating observer. it's hard sometimes, but it's actually the best thing for me right now. i'm realizing that even though i desperately want to be a part of so many people's lives, i can't be. that eventually (say in a year and a half) i will be moving away from them as we move on to bigger and better things. i dont know where i'm going - my top three grad schools as of right now are nottingham-trent(ENGLAND!), rosemont(pennsylvania), and emerson (massachussettes). i looked at a couple in NY, and nothing fits. mom's gonna want me to go to rosemont b/c PA is closer... but i dont see myself being happy so close to home. i told drea, days before i met cory, that i think where my future lies is in england, that that's where i'll find the man i'll get to settle down with.
my biological clock is ticking, you have no idea. i want to get married and have a family. My guinea pig should help suppress that for awhile.
it doesnt feel like there's a year and a half left for me in oswego. i have senioritis and i'm not even a second semester junior yet. i just feel like i'm done here. that i need to start moving on... but i think the moving on is in my personal life. i need to start going out, i need to find ppl to go out with. i need to fuck around... to enjoy college for a little while.
next semester's gonna be hell. i'm starting business courses - i've never taken one before, and from how people talk about it, it's gonna be difficult. i'm still gonna be part of SAPB and the movie theater (March Magic Harry Potter Marathon to plan) and COPE and Habitat. I just joined the yearbook, and i think i might be joining Great Lake Review (the school's literary magazine) as an editor. And, i've got a guinea pig to take care of AND i need to find some place else to live next year (not next semester) cus erica doesn't want to stay in this apartment (and i kinda don't either) but i can't go back on campus - i'd have to go home for breaks, and i can't do that - i'll kill myself first. but i need to start calling and such... o, and next semester, i need to schedule and take my road test and pass it. i need to be legal to drive, and i need to have a valid ID for when i turn 21 or else i can't go out to drink. joy.
all right. i'm done.