The Naughty List, PG-13, Bill/Gustav, 1/1
Title: The Naughty List
Author: ???
Pairing(s): Bill/Gustav
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own these boys, and I’m making no profit from this story.
Warnings: Lots of fluff, some good-natured picking on Bill
Summary: One sheet of paper is all it takes to put Gustav on Bill’s Naughty List, but will it be enough to break them up for good?
FQF Prompt: Fic: Bill/Gustav - Gustav writes a list of pros and cons about having Bill as a boyfriend. Bill finds said list, and isn't too happy. (happy ending please?) by hexenhasel
Author's notes: Many huge thanks to teganscrush for reading this and being awesome! Hope you enjoy this little bit of fluff, hexenhasel!
Bill knew it would be hard trying to keep up a long-distance relationship with Gustav, but he hadn’t counted on just how difficult it would truly be. Skype was nice and FaceTime was great, but nothing was a proper substitute for quality one-on-one time with his Gustav. Being in the same country to sneak off together was wonderful while filming DSDS, and it had whetted Bill’s appetite to the point where he was finding any excuse for another long flight to Germany. Tom might complain about the drain on Bill’s finances, but when it came down to another closet full of the newest winter designs versus a stolen weekend with Gustav, well… Bill was willing to forego half the clothes and settle for a mid-week surprise rendezvous when he could book cheaper rates.
Unfortunately, showing up at Gustav’s place unexpectedly one afternoon also ran him the risk that Gustav would have plans already, plans he claimed he couldn’t get out of. So they spent the evening and night getting to know each other all over again, then Gustav had to leave for the entire day, kissing Bill gently and reassuring him he’d be home to eat dinner with Bill.
Knowing that moping wouldn’t get him anywhere and thinking maybe he would be extra sweet to his Gustav, Bill decided to clean up Gustav’s living room. It wasn’t really dirty, things just needed straightening, but as Bill made his way through, picking up mail from one table to lay it on another then moving dirty glasses from the coffee table to the floor, it wasn’t much success.
The trouble began when he was trying to yank the couch cushions back into place where they’d messed them up after a wrestle over Gustav’s game controller turned into a heavy makeout session the evening before. It was only one sheet of paper, ripped from a spiral-bound notebook, little ragged edges hanging off forlornly. Bill picked at them absently as he read Gustav’s handwriting.
Cons:
1. There is no bathroom space. Ever. Hair shit and face shit everywhere. Makeup. Appliances that look like medieval torture instruments. Bathroom is full of everything except for the one thing I long for-a razor
2. Stubble. Beard burn in places I don’t want to think about.
3. No room in the closet just from stuff he leaves here. He’s never even worn half this shit. Or the shoes I trip over in the middle of the night.
4. His laugh
5. He only talks about himself or Tom
6. Tom always comes first
7. He doesn’t pick up after the dogs
8. He doesn’t pick up after himself
9. Kind of rude
10. Self-absorbed
11. The constant stopping smoking and throwing out all my smokes then falling off the wagon and buying them all again is driving me crazy. I like my nicotine levels stable, dammit.
12. Those fuckin’ extensions, man.
13. The last time we went out, someone mistook him for a homeless person and thought he stole those expensive sunglasses and jewelry.
14. He’s obsessed with vegetarianism and won’t let me kiss him if I eat meat
15. Partying with some weird-ass LA people who I have nothing in common with
16. The shit he drinks, man. All that L.A. health shit and alcohol but no beer. How can a man live without beer?! Maybe with enough vodka and whiskey, sure, but BEER.
17. He cuts me off when I’m talking. I can’t remember the last time I actually got to finish a sentence around him.
18. When he’s pissed at me, he ignores me. Like I should know what I’ve done wrong. I never know what I’ve done wrong so I just start guessing. Then he raises the eyebrow, stomps off to Tom and ignores me until I guess right.
Bill turned the paper over to the nearly empty back.
Pros:
1. His tattoos. I like tattoos.
Bill huffed and kept picking at the paper edges.
Well, Gustav certainly has strong opinions about HIM. Whoever HIM is. Sounds pretty awful to me … oh. Bill’s thoughts ground to a halt and he read the list again, slower, fingers clenching until the paper crinkled and threatened to tear. His heart felt like it was breaking when he realized Gustav had spelled out eighteen very specific reasons why Bill was a terrible boyfriend as opposed to one-ONE-reason why Gustav liked him.
Bill took a few deep breaths and willed himself to let go of the paper and smooth it out on his leg. He wondered how long Gustav had been thinking these things, and when he was going to break up with Bill. That was all but certain, for sure, because who would want to date someone who only had one little thing in his favor and a whole, huge list against him.
The thought of Gustav actually breaking up with him made Bill’s heart ache again. Bill was head over heels for Gustav, had been since before they officially started dating, and the mere thought of losing him made his stomach churn. He loved Gustav, and he didn’t want to lose him. But, what could he do? Horrible thoughts swirled of living alone the rest of his life without anyone to love him except his dogs and Tom.
The feel of the paper getting soggy from his sweaty palms dragged Bill back to the present. He started reading the list again, and it hurt just as much this time. But then he began to get an idea. It would be hard; it would be difficult; it would go against every fiber of his very being.
But, if he could change the majority of those eighteen things Gustav hated about him, maybe he stood a chance. Maybe, just maybe, Gustav wouldn’t break up with him and everything would be all right.
Bill read it again, slowly, then got down to business.
_________________________________________________
“I’m home,” Gustav announced unnecessarily as he dropped his overstuffed duffel bag in the hallway and toed off his shoes. As always, his dog had heard his approach and was waiting beside the door, body wriggling, jumping up ready for welcome-home kisses. Gustav rubbed his head and ruffled his scruff, looking around for the one he really wanted kisses from. “Bill, you here?”
“Yes, in the kitchen.”
“Great, I’m just going to take Brutus out for his walk then I’ll be right back,” Gustav reached for the leash and baggies beside it.
“You don’t have to. I already took him out and he did all his business,” came the reply from the kitchen.
Gustav raised an eyebrow and looked down at Brutus who merely wagged his tail and panted dog breath in his face. “And you cleaned it up?”
“Well, of course. I took him down to the park and we played fetch for a while. I picked up his offerings.”
Gustav shared another look with Brutus then shrugged. It was one less chore he’d have to worry about, and he was eager to spend the night with only Bill to focus on anyway. He walked down the short hallway to the kitchen, Brutus butting his muzzle into his thigh, and stopped in his tracks.
“Holy hell, what did you do?!”
He saw Bill’s back tense then he stood at his full height and turned slowly, giving Gustav a good view all the way around.
“Holy fuck,” was all Gustav could whisper, letting the syllables linger in shock.
Bill rubbed a hand over his newly shorn head. “Is that all you can say? You’re making me a little nervous here, Gustav.”
“Holy-I like it. I do, Bill. This is just … huge. Your hair is- I never thought- It’s always been like another member of the band,” Gustav blurted out.
Bill started to laugh then cut himself off mid-cackle with a sound that was almost a choke. “Yeah, I guess it did kind of have a life of its own,” he said, rubbing the shaved ends.
“Did you do it yourself?” Gustav stepped closer slowly, not thinking about why he was acting wary, as if Bill was a wild animal or mentally deranged.
“Yep. Like I could trust anyone around here with my hair. Even though they were extensions, if a fan got a hold of them, they’d probably sell them or set up a shrine or something. I thought it was safer to do it myself. And those extensions were looking pretty ratty, right?”
Gustav thought the loss of Bill’s hair only made his eyes look bigger and shine brighter. “You’re always beautiful, no matter what,” he said. “But I like this.”
Bill’s smile lit up the room, and Gustav happily met him halfway for a kiss. Bill’s long arms went around his waist, pulling him closer, and Gustav slid his hand over Bill’s head, making him shiver with the unfamiliar sensation. When Bill pulled his lips away and tilted his head to the left for another kiss, Gustav braced himself for the familiar scrape of beard against his chin and cheek. But, there was nothing.
Gustav cupped Bill’s cheek, brushing his thumb over it a couple times before he broke the kiss. “Holy shit, you shaved too!”
Bill nodded and would have stepped back, but Gustav pulled him into his arms for another kiss that led to another then another that had Bill’s ass pressed against the counter and Gustav starting a slow grind against him.
“Wait,” Bill panted as Gustav kissed down his throat in a leisurely path to his ear that made Bill moan. “Wait,” he tried again. “Dinner will burn.”
“Forget dinner,” Gustav growled, and from the way Bill’s hands gripped harder against his shoulders and his pelvis rubbed his, he thought Bill had.
“No, no, we can’t forget dinner. It’s almost ready. I made it for you,” Bill said with a smile. Gustav immediately froze, mind going back over all the Kaulitz culinary disasters he’d faced, but Bill squeezed his shoulders once and let go. “Well, I didn’t make it so much as heat it up. But, it’s going to burn if you don’t let go. I have the table set and everything.”
Gustav had to admit, it was oddly charming to sit at the head of his table and have Bill bring out steaming hot dishes of some of his favorite foods to serve him. It was endearing to have Bill ask him all about his day, what he’d done with his friends, and what he was planning for his weekend and let him talk all he wanted.
It was also very unnerving to have Bill stop himself every time Bill started to say “Tom” or “me and Tom.” It was truly a little unsettling when Bill started to laugh his distinctive cackle at one of Gustav’s stories then turn it into a cough. Gustav started to rise, thinking Bill was choking, but he’d waved it off, taking a large gulp of wine then giving nothing more than a smile at the rest of Gustav’s punch line.
He was determined to figure out what was going on when Bill came back from clearing the dessert dishes since Bill had never once in his life, as far as Gustav knew, volunteered to clean the table. Instead, he heard Bill’s phone give a couple text notifications then heard Bill swear passionately.
He rushed into the kitchen where Bill was calling his phone every vile name he could think of. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Bill snapped then took a deep breath and pasted on a smile. “It’s just Tom. That asshat took the photo I sent him of all my cut-off hair and is using it to bait the fangirls.”
“What a douche,” Gustav said, looking around Bill’s shoulder at the photo. “He had no right to share that.”
“Yeah, well, he’s probably there partying with all our LA friends,” Bill spit out, making Gustav worry again at the venom in his voice.
“Bill, is there something going on you’re not telling me about?”
“What? No! Why would you think that? Everything is fine, Gustav.” Bill’s phone started to blare Tom’s ring tone, and Gustav stepped away, knowing Bill always accepted Tom’s call, no matter what. He almost fell over when Bill very definitely hit the “ignore” button.
“Bill, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked slowly.
“Why wouldn’t I be okay? I told you I’m fine,” Bill snapped as Tom rang again and Bill just as casually refused the call. Then Bill walked over to the refrigerator, placed the phone inside on the top shelf, and let the door close. Gustav watched in terrified silence. Bill looked at him suddenly, and it was all Gustav could do not to jump at the look of fury in his eyes.
“Gustav, darling, I don’t want any distractions between us tonight. Why don’t you go make yourself comfortable in the living room while I get you a beer?”
Gustav wasn’t proud to say he scurried off, but that’s how it felt. His shoulders only hunched over a little when Bill called out, “And make sure you enjoy the little present I left you on the coffee table.”
Gustav was half expecting to see a pod that this imposter Bill had crawled out of, but was delighted at first to find an entire carton of his cigarettes. Then he felt nothing but dread as he remembered that Bill had insisted the night before that he and Tom had quit smoking for good. Again.
Something was going on. Pieces were falling into place, but Gustav knew he didn’t have the entire picture yet. Maybe if he could wrestle Bill to the couch and pin him down like he used to back in the old days… Gustav sighed, knowing those days of teenage teasing were all but gone. They were getting older now, supposed to be acting more mature, moving on-
His thoughts froze when it hit him. Bill was moving on. Bill was going to break up with him. Bill had surprised him, was doing all these wonderfully nice but so-out-of-character things for him because he was softening him up for the blow.
Bill was going to dump him.
Gustav clutched the cigarettes to his chest. He couldn’t believe Bill could do this to him, to them. He knew it was hard being apart, but they’d agreed it wasn’t permanent. Once the next album was done, they’d be touring again and from there, the big decision of where to live would arise, but Gustav had always known he’d go wherever Bill wanted. He’d been taking classes, working on a degree, but he’d always planned to follow Bill into whatever adventure the next step of their lives would take. As long as it was together. He’d always thought they’d be together.
Maybe he should have told Bill sooner.
Gustav put down the cigarettes and stood up, knowing what he had to do. He wouldn’t let Bill break up with him. He was going to march back into that kitchen and lay it all out. He was going to sweep Bill into his arms, proclaim his undying love and kiss him breathless.
Just as soon as he brushed his teeth, he amended, remember Bill’s strict no-kissing-after-eating-meat rule. He hurried toward the bathroom in the master bedroom but stopped, stunned, just inside the door. It was so much worse than he’d imagined.
Bill’s things that were usually scattered everywhere around the room were gone. The closet doors were still open, but Gustav could see that the two-thirds Bill had always claimed was nearly empty. The shoes that normally cluttered the floor inside and outside the closet were in a smaller heap in a plastic box. Gustav pushed open the door to the en suite, afraid he would cry if what he feared was true. And it was. All of Bill’s cosmetics, hair products, styling tools and appliances had disappeared. His toothbrush and toothpaste looked as alone and forlorn as Gustav felt.
“Gustav? Gustav, are you in here?” Gustav steeled himself not to turn around from the sink when Bill’s voice came through the bedroom. “I’m sorry I was kind of rude back there. Tom really pissed me off, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Hey, what are you doing?”
“Nothing. Going to brush my teeth after dinner,” was all Gustav could say.
Bill met his eyes in the mirror and cocked an eyebrow. “Why, my dearest Gustav, are you hoping to get lucky tonight?” He wrapped his arms around Gustav and smoothed his hands over Gustav’s stomach. He kept his eyes locked on Gustav’s as he nipped Gustav’s ear and said, “Why don’t you forget the teeth and take me to bed?”
Gustav shook his head. “You don’t like kissing me after I’ve had meat.”
“That doesn’t matter. Come to bed and let me show you how much I love you,” Bill breathed out and slid his hand lower, cupping Gustav’s groin.
That made Gustav finally pull away and turn to face Bill. “Why don’t you just come out and tell me what’s going on,” he demanded.
Bill flinched, and Gustav knew he’d caught him. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about all this, Bill. You-being nice and weird. Not acting like yourself. Clearing out all your clothes and your bathroom shit. Did you think I wouldn’t notice until you’d actually broken up with me? Or were you going to screw me tonight for old time’s sake then sneak out in the morning before I woke up? Well, it’s not going to work, Bill. I’m not letting you go.”
“First of all,” Bill leaned down close to his face, “what the fuck do you mean I’m acting all nice and it’s not like myself? I am nice. I am a fucking sweetheart.”
Gustav snorted and it only enraged Bill more. “Fine, you want the truth? No more number eighteen, I’ll confront you directly. I am pissed off at you, Gustav, but I do not want you to break up with me.”
“Break up with you? What are you talking about? You’re the one breaking up with me!”
“What? Why would I do that? I’m not the one with a boyfriend who has eighteen fucking things wrong with him and only one redeeming quality!”
“Bill,” Gustav said slowly and clearly, “what the ever-loving fuck are you talking about?”
“This!” Bill tore out the piece of notebook paper he’d had in his back pocket and waved it in Gustav’s face. Gustav grabbed it when it bumped his glasses the second time. He glanced at it then read on, face paling as he realized what it was.
“Bill, I can explain.”
“I’m sure you can, but you don’t have to,” Bill tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. “It’s all written there in black and white. All the many things that are wrong with me. I don’t blame you for wanting to break up with such a terrible person. I can’t do anything right apparently. I’m lazy and ugly and useless.” Bill’s voice cracked.
“Bill, you’re none of those things,” Gustav said quietly.
“That’s not what you said before!” Bill gestured to the paper.
“Bill, this was something Georg and I wrote up months ago, before you moved back to film the show. I was having a hard time missing you because seeing you for a few minutes here and there during the first round was hard. It was almost worse to be tempted with you and only have you for a short time then when I know you’re unreachable thousands of miles away. Georg and I got drunk and I started complaining about how much I missed you, and before I knew it, he was telling me I needed to make a list to see if it was worth being your boyfriend.”
The little noise that escaped Bill sounded like a sob, but he turned away before Gustav could be sure. Gustav grabbed his arm so he couldn’t escape the bathroom. “But, I didn’t need a list to tell me that. I love you, Bill. You don’t have to be perfect. You’re you. Whatever is happening, this works. We’re happy. Or, at least I am. I have my moments, but I love you. I’m sure I do things that annoy you and piss you off. In fact, I’m sure I do. But, we can work this out, I know.”
“But there was only one good thing on the list.”
Gustav sighed. “That’s because I was too drunk to keep writing, and Georg started playing Bioshock and next thing I knew we were blowing things up until we passed out on the couch.”
Bill started to pull away, but Gustav held onto his arms and gently turned Bill to face him. “Bill, if I were to start a list of all the wonderful things about you and having you as a boyfriend, I could write from now until the end of our lives and I still wouldn’t be done.”
Bill snorted but finally met Gustav’s eyes. “I love you. I don’t want to lose you. I can change.”
“You will not,” Gustav said. “You’re you, the Bill I’ve known and loved since the first time I saw you on stage singing. I love you for who you are, even the things that drive me nuts sometimes. Please don’t be this weirdly ni-” Bill gave him a sharp look as Gustav started to say “nice” so he changed it to, “Please don’t change yourself. Just be you. That’s who I love.”
“And you’ll tell me things, not keep them all bottled up? It wouldn’t hurt to hear this once in a while,” Bill’s hands shook a little as he cradled Gustav’s face and brought his forehead down to rest against Gustav’s.
“I promise,” Gustav tilted his head up to brush his lips against Bill, but Bill pulled back with a grimace.
“Then do you mind brushing your teeth because that really is gross.”
Gustav chuckled and smacked a loud kiss to Bill’s cheek only to watch him wipe it off. “I can do that.”
The next morning, Bill woke late, as always, and nearly panicked when he realized Gustav was missing from the bed. He almost panicked again when he reached up to find his hair gone, but he finally remembered everything that had happened the night before.
Then he noticed a little notebook on Gustav’s pillow. He didn’t stop to think about privacy for a moment before he opened it to find another list-this one counting every time Gustav fell in love with him, every good memory they had together. Bill was so engrossed in reading, he didn’t hear Gustav sit down on the bed behind him with a cup of coffee.
“I shouldn’t have started chronologically. I barely made it through the Schrei tour before my hand cramped,” he said, kissing the top of Bill’s bristly head.
“This is amazing. Thank you, Gustav,” Bill leaned back into Gustav’s broad chest and tipped his face for a kiss. “Now, what do you say I try to get that hand feeling better? I’m sure I can think of something.”
He pounced and rolled Gustav onto his back where they proceeded to make another memory Gustav would someday add to the list.
The end
Author: ???
Pairing(s): Bill/Gustav
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own these boys, and I’m making no profit from this story.
Warnings: Lots of fluff, some good-natured picking on Bill
Summary: One sheet of paper is all it takes to put Gustav on Bill’s Naughty List, but will it be enough to break them up for good?
FQF Prompt: Fic: Bill/Gustav - Gustav writes a list of pros and cons about having Bill as a boyfriend. Bill finds said list, and isn't too happy. (happy ending please?) by hexenhasel
Author's notes: Many huge thanks to teganscrush for reading this and being awesome! Hope you enjoy this little bit of fluff, hexenhasel!
Bill knew it would be hard trying to keep up a long-distance relationship with Gustav, but he hadn’t counted on just how difficult it would truly be. Skype was nice and FaceTime was great, but nothing was a proper substitute for quality one-on-one time with his Gustav. Being in the same country to sneak off together was wonderful while filming DSDS, and it had whetted Bill’s appetite to the point where he was finding any excuse for another long flight to Germany. Tom might complain about the drain on Bill’s finances, but when it came down to another closet full of the newest winter designs versus a stolen weekend with Gustav, well… Bill was willing to forego half the clothes and settle for a mid-week surprise rendezvous when he could book cheaper rates.
Unfortunately, showing up at Gustav’s place unexpectedly one afternoon also ran him the risk that Gustav would have plans already, plans he claimed he couldn’t get out of. So they spent the evening and night getting to know each other all over again, then Gustav had to leave for the entire day, kissing Bill gently and reassuring him he’d be home to eat dinner with Bill.
Knowing that moping wouldn’t get him anywhere and thinking maybe he would be extra sweet to his Gustav, Bill decided to clean up Gustav’s living room. It wasn’t really dirty, things just needed straightening, but as Bill made his way through, picking up mail from one table to lay it on another then moving dirty glasses from the coffee table to the floor, it wasn’t much success.
The trouble began when he was trying to yank the couch cushions back into place where they’d messed them up after a wrestle over Gustav’s game controller turned into a heavy makeout session the evening before. It was only one sheet of paper, ripped from a spiral-bound notebook, little ragged edges hanging off forlornly. Bill picked at them absently as he read Gustav’s handwriting.
Cons:
1. There is no bathroom space. Ever. Hair shit and face shit everywhere. Makeup. Appliances that look like medieval torture instruments. Bathroom is full of everything except for the one thing I long for-a razor
2. Stubble. Beard burn in places I don’t want to think about.
3. No room in the closet just from stuff he leaves here. He’s never even worn half this shit. Or the shoes I trip over in the middle of the night.
4. His laugh
5. He only talks about himself or Tom
6. Tom always comes first
7. He doesn’t pick up after the dogs
8. He doesn’t pick up after himself
9. Kind of rude
10. Self-absorbed
11. The constant stopping smoking and throwing out all my smokes then falling off the wagon and buying them all again is driving me crazy. I like my nicotine levels stable, dammit.
12. Those fuckin’ extensions, man.
13. The last time we went out, someone mistook him for a homeless person and thought he stole those expensive sunglasses and jewelry.
14. He’s obsessed with vegetarianism and won’t let me kiss him if I eat meat
15. Partying with some weird-ass LA people who I have nothing in common with
16. The shit he drinks, man. All that L.A. health shit and alcohol but no beer. How can a man live without beer?! Maybe with enough vodka and whiskey, sure, but BEER.
17. He cuts me off when I’m talking. I can’t remember the last time I actually got to finish a sentence around him.
18. When he’s pissed at me, he ignores me. Like I should know what I’ve done wrong. I never know what I’ve done wrong so I just start guessing. Then he raises the eyebrow, stomps off to Tom and ignores me until I guess right.
Bill turned the paper over to the nearly empty back.
Pros:
1. His tattoos. I like tattoos.
Bill huffed and kept picking at the paper edges.
Well, Gustav certainly has strong opinions about HIM. Whoever HIM is. Sounds pretty awful to me … oh. Bill’s thoughts ground to a halt and he read the list again, slower, fingers clenching until the paper crinkled and threatened to tear. His heart felt like it was breaking when he realized Gustav had spelled out eighteen very specific reasons why Bill was a terrible boyfriend as opposed to one-ONE-reason why Gustav liked him.
Bill took a few deep breaths and willed himself to let go of the paper and smooth it out on his leg. He wondered how long Gustav had been thinking these things, and when he was going to break up with Bill. That was all but certain, for sure, because who would want to date someone who only had one little thing in his favor and a whole, huge list against him.
The thought of Gustav actually breaking up with him made Bill’s heart ache again. Bill was head over heels for Gustav, had been since before they officially started dating, and the mere thought of losing him made his stomach churn. He loved Gustav, and he didn’t want to lose him. But, what could he do? Horrible thoughts swirled of living alone the rest of his life without anyone to love him except his dogs and Tom.
The feel of the paper getting soggy from his sweaty palms dragged Bill back to the present. He started reading the list again, and it hurt just as much this time. But then he began to get an idea. It would be hard; it would be difficult; it would go against every fiber of his very being.
But, if he could change the majority of those eighteen things Gustav hated about him, maybe he stood a chance. Maybe, just maybe, Gustav wouldn’t break up with him and everything would be all right.
Bill read it again, slowly, then got down to business.
_________________________________________________
“I’m home,” Gustav announced unnecessarily as he dropped his overstuffed duffel bag in the hallway and toed off his shoes. As always, his dog had heard his approach and was waiting beside the door, body wriggling, jumping up ready for welcome-home kisses. Gustav rubbed his head and ruffled his scruff, looking around for the one he really wanted kisses from. “Bill, you here?”
“Yes, in the kitchen.”
“Great, I’m just going to take Brutus out for his walk then I’ll be right back,” Gustav reached for the leash and baggies beside it.
“You don’t have to. I already took him out and he did all his business,” came the reply from the kitchen.
Gustav raised an eyebrow and looked down at Brutus who merely wagged his tail and panted dog breath in his face. “And you cleaned it up?”
“Well, of course. I took him down to the park and we played fetch for a while. I picked up his offerings.”
Gustav shared another look with Brutus then shrugged. It was one less chore he’d have to worry about, and he was eager to spend the night with only Bill to focus on anyway. He walked down the short hallway to the kitchen, Brutus butting his muzzle into his thigh, and stopped in his tracks.
“Holy hell, what did you do?!”
He saw Bill’s back tense then he stood at his full height and turned slowly, giving Gustav a good view all the way around.
“Holy fuck,” was all Gustav could whisper, letting the syllables linger in shock.
Bill rubbed a hand over his newly shorn head. “Is that all you can say? You’re making me a little nervous here, Gustav.”
“Holy-I like it. I do, Bill. This is just … huge. Your hair is- I never thought- It’s always been like another member of the band,” Gustav blurted out.
Bill started to laugh then cut himself off mid-cackle with a sound that was almost a choke. “Yeah, I guess it did kind of have a life of its own,” he said, rubbing the shaved ends.
“Did you do it yourself?” Gustav stepped closer slowly, not thinking about why he was acting wary, as if Bill was a wild animal or mentally deranged.
“Yep. Like I could trust anyone around here with my hair. Even though they were extensions, if a fan got a hold of them, they’d probably sell them or set up a shrine or something. I thought it was safer to do it myself. And those extensions were looking pretty ratty, right?”
Gustav thought the loss of Bill’s hair only made his eyes look bigger and shine brighter. “You’re always beautiful, no matter what,” he said. “But I like this.”
Bill’s smile lit up the room, and Gustav happily met him halfway for a kiss. Bill’s long arms went around his waist, pulling him closer, and Gustav slid his hand over Bill’s head, making him shiver with the unfamiliar sensation. When Bill pulled his lips away and tilted his head to the left for another kiss, Gustav braced himself for the familiar scrape of beard against his chin and cheek. But, there was nothing.
Gustav cupped Bill’s cheek, brushing his thumb over it a couple times before he broke the kiss. “Holy shit, you shaved too!”
Bill nodded and would have stepped back, but Gustav pulled him into his arms for another kiss that led to another then another that had Bill’s ass pressed against the counter and Gustav starting a slow grind against him.
“Wait,” Bill panted as Gustav kissed down his throat in a leisurely path to his ear that made Bill moan. “Wait,” he tried again. “Dinner will burn.”
“Forget dinner,” Gustav growled, and from the way Bill’s hands gripped harder against his shoulders and his pelvis rubbed his, he thought Bill had.
“No, no, we can’t forget dinner. It’s almost ready. I made it for you,” Bill said with a smile. Gustav immediately froze, mind going back over all the Kaulitz culinary disasters he’d faced, but Bill squeezed his shoulders once and let go. “Well, I didn’t make it so much as heat it up. But, it’s going to burn if you don’t let go. I have the table set and everything.”
Gustav had to admit, it was oddly charming to sit at the head of his table and have Bill bring out steaming hot dishes of some of his favorite foods to serve him. It was endearing to have Bill ask him all about his day, what he’d done with his friends, and what he was planning for his weekend and let him talk all he wanted.
It was also very unnerving to have Bill stop himself every time Bill started to say “Tom” or “me and Tom.” It was truly a little unsettling when Bill started to laugh his distinctive cackle at one of Gustav’s stories then turn it into a cough. Gustav started to rise, thinking Bill was choking, but he’d waved it off, taking a large gulp of wine then giving nothing more than a smile at the rest of Gustav’s punch line.
He was determined to figure out what was going on when Bill came back from clearing the dessert dishes since Bill had never once in his life, as far as Gustav knew, volunteered to clean the table. Instead, he heard Bill’s phone give a couple text notifications then heard Bill swear passionately.
He rushed into the kitchen where Bill was calling his phone every vile name he could think of. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Bill snapped then took a deep breath and pasted on a smile. “It’s just Tom. That asshat took the photo I sent him of all my cut-off hair and is using it to bait the fangirls.”
“What a douche,” Gustav said, looking around Bill’s shoulder at the photo. “He had no right to share that.”
“Yeah, well, he’s probably there partying with all our LA friends,” Bill spit out, making Gustav worry again at the venom in his voice.
“Bill, is there something going on you’re not telling me about?”
“What? No! Why would you think that? Everything is fine, Gustav.” Bill’s phone started to blare Tom’s ring tone, and Gustav stepped away, knowing Bill always accepted Tom’s call, no matter what. He almost fell over when Bill very definitely hit the “ignore” button.
“Bill, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked slowly.
“Why wouldn’t I be okay? I told you I’m fine,” Bill snapped as Tom rang again and Bill just as casually refused the call. Then Bill walked over to the refrigerator, placed the phone inside on the top shelf, and let the door close. Gustav watched in terrified silence. Bill looked at him suddenly, and it was all Gustav could do not to jump at the look of fury in his eyes.
“Gustav, darling, I don’t want any distractions between us tonight. Why don’t you go make yourself comfortable in the living room while I get you a beer?”
Gustav wasn’t proud to say he scurried off, but that’s how it felt. His shoulders only hunched over a little when Bill called out, “And make sure you enjoy the little present I left you on the coffee table.”
Gustav was half expecting to see a pod that this imposter Bill had crawled out of, but was delighted at first to find an entire carton of his cigarettes. Then he felt nothing but dread as he remembered that Bill had insisted the night before that he and Tom had quit smoking for good. Again.
Something was going on. Pieces were falling into place, but Gustav knew he didn’t have the entire picture yet. Maybe if he could wrestle Bill to the couch and pin him down like he used to back in the old days… Gustav sighed, knowing those days of teenage teasing were all but gone. They were getting older now, supposed to be acting more mature, moving on-
His thoughts froze when it hit him. Bill was moving on. Bill was going to break up with him. Bill had surprised him, was doing all these wonderfully nice but so-out-of-character things for him because he was softening him up for the blow.
Bill was going to dump him.
Gustav clutched the cigarettes to his chest. He couldn’t believe Bill could do this to him, to them. He knew it was hard being apart, but they’d agreed it wasn’t permanent. Once the next album was done, they’d be touring again and from there, the big decision of where to live would arise, but Gustav had always known he’d go wherever Bill wanted. He’d been taking classes, working on a degree, but he’d always planned to follow Bill into whatever adventure the next step of their lives would take. As long as it was together. He’d always thought they’d be together.
Maybe he should have told Bill sooner.
Gustav put down the cigarettes and stood up, knowing what he had to do. He wouldn’t let Bill break up with him. He was going to march back into that kitchen and lay it all out. He was going to sweep Bill into his arms, proclaim his undying love and kiss him breathless.
Just as soon as he brushed his teeth, he amended, remember Bill’s strict no-kissing-after-eating-meat rule. He hurried toward the bathroom in the master bedroom but stopped, stunned, just inside the door. It was so much worse than he’d imagined.
Bill’s things that were usually scattered everywhere around the room were gone. The closet doors were still open, but Gustav could see that the two-thirds Bill had always claimed was nearly empty. The shoes that normally cluttered the floor inside and outside the closet were in a smaller heap in a plastic box. Gustav pushed open the door to the en suite, afraid he would cry if what he feared was true. And it was. All of Bill’s cosmetics, hair products, styling tools and appliances had disappeared. His toothbrush and toothpaste looked as alone and forlorn as Gustav felt.
“Gustav? Gustav, are you in here?” Gustav steeled himself not to turn around from the sink when Bill’s voice came through the bedroom. “I’m sorry I was kind of rude back there. Tom really pissed me off, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Hey, what are you doing?”
“Nothing. Going to brush my teeth after dinner,” was all Gustav could say.
Bill met his eyes in the mirror and cocked an eyebrow. “Why, my dearest Gustav, are you hoping to get lucky tonight?” He wrapped his arms around Gustav and smoothed his hands over Gustav’s stomach. He kept his eyes locked on Gustav’s as he nipped Gustav’s ear and said, “Why don’t you forget the teeth and take me to bed?”
Gustav shook his head. “You don’t like kissing me after I’ve had meat.”
“That doesn’t matter. Come to bed and let me show you how much I love you,” Bill breathed out and slid his hand lower, cupping Gustav’s groin.
That made Gustav finally pull away and turn to face Bill. “Why don’t you just come out and tell me what’s going on,” he demanded.
Bill flinched, and Gustav knew he’d caught him. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about all this, Bill. You-being nice and weird. Not acting like yourself. Clearing out all your clothes and your bathroom shit. Did you think I wouldn’t notice until you’d actually broken up with me? Or were you going to screw me tonight for old time’s sake then sneak out in the morning before I woke up? Well, it’s not going to work, Bill. I’m not letting you go.”
“First of all,” Bill leaned down close to his face, “what the fuck do you mean I’m acting all nice and it’s not like myself? I am nice. I am a fucking sweetheart.”
Gustav snorted and it only enraged Bill more. “Fine, you want the truth? No more number eighteen, I’ll confront you directly. I am pissed off at you, Gustav, but I do not want you to break up with me.”
“Break up with you? What are you talking about? You’re the one breaking up with me!”
“What? Why would I do that? I’m not the one with a boyfriend who has eighteen fucking things wrong with him and only one redeeming quality!”
“Bill,” Gustav said slowly and clearly, “what the ever-loving fuck are you talking about?”
“This!” Bill tore out the piece of notebook paper he’d had in his back pocket and waved it in Gustav’s face. Gustav grabbed it when it bumped his glasses the second time. He glanced at it then read on, face paling as he realized what it was.
“Bill, I can explain.”
“I’m sure you can, but you don’t have to,” Bill tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. “It’s all written there in black and white. All the many things that are wrong with me. I don’t blame you for wanting to break up with such a terrible person. I can’t do anything right apparently. I’m lazy and ugly and useless.” Bill’s voice cracked.
“Bill, you’re none of those things,” Gustav said quietly.
“That’s not what you said before!” Bill gestured to the paper.
“Bill, this was something Georg and I wrote up months ago, before you moved back to film the show. I was having a hard time missing you because seeing you for a few minutes here and there during the first round was hard. It was almost worse to be tempted with you and only have you for a short time then when I know you’re unreachable thousands of miles away. Georg and I got drunk and I started complaining about how much I missed you, and before I knew it, he was telling me I needed to make a list to see if it was worth being your boyfriend.”
The little noise that escaped Bill sounded like a sob, but he turned away before Gustav could be sure. Gustav grabbed his arm so he couldn’t escape the bathroom. “But, I didn’t need a list to tell me that. I love you, Bill. You don’t have to be perfect. You’re you. Whatever is happening, this works. We’re happy. Or, at least I am. I have my moments, but I love you. I’m sure I do things that annoy you and piss you off. In fact, I’m sure I do. But, we can work this out, I know.”
“But there was only one good thing on the list.”
Gustav sighed. “That’s because I was too drunk to keep writing, and Georg started playing Bioshock and next thing I knew we were blowing things up until we passed out on the couch.”
Bill started to pull away, but Gustav held onto his arms and gently turned Bill to face him. “Bill, if I were to start a list of all the wonderful things about you and having you as a boyfriend, I could write from now until the end of our lives and I still wouldn’t be done.”
Bill snorted but finally met Gustav’s eyes. “I love you. I don’t want to lose you. I can change.”
“You will not,” Gustav said. “You’re you, the Bill I’ve known and loved since the first time I saw you on stage singing. I love you for who you are, even the things that drive me nuts sometimes. Please don’t be this weirdly ni-” Bill gave him a sharp look as Gustav started to say “nice” so he changed it to, “Please don’t change yourself. Just be you. That’s who I love.”
“And you’ll tell me things, not keep them all bottled up? It wouldn’t hurt to hear this once in a while,” Bill’s hands shook a little as he cradled Gustav’s face and brought his forehead down to rest against Gustav’s.
“I promise,” Gustav tilted his head up to brush his lips against Bill, but Bill pulled back with a grimace.
“Then do you mind brushing your teeth because that really is gross.”
Gustav chuckled and smacked a loud kiss to Bill’s cheek only to watch him wipe it off. “I can do that.”
The next morning, Bill woke late, as always, and nearly panicked when he realized Gustav was missing from the bed. He almost panicked again when he reached up to find his hair gone, but he finally remembered everything that had happened the night before.
Then he noticed a little notebook on Gustav’s pillow. He didn’t stop to think about privacy for a moment before he opened it to find another list-this one counting every time Gustav fell in love with him, every good memory they had together. Bill was so engrossed in reading, he didn’t hear Gustav sit down on the bed behind him with a cup of coffee.
“I shouldn’t have started chronologically. I barely made it through the Schrei tour before my hand cramped,” he said, kissing the top of Bill’s bristly head.
“This is amazing. Thank you, Gustav,” Bill leaned back into Gustav’s broad chest and tipped his face for a kiss. “Now, what do you say I try to get that hand feeling better? I’m sure I can think of something.”
He pounced and rolled Gustav onto his back where they proceeded to make another memory Gustav would someday add to the list.
The end