The Scientist - Response to a Request
Title: The Scientist
Continuity: Animated
Rating: K+
Summary: He was no fool. He knew 'should have' and 'if only' will never bring her back, and he wants badly, so badly, for the hurt to end. If only he knew. If only.
Prompt: Perceptor/Moonracer: If Only, If Only
Disclaimer: All of Transformers belongs to Hasbro.
PerceptorxMoonracer, in all continuities, is my OTP. *superw00t* TF:G1 has the cute, TF: IDW has the sexy, and TF: Animated has the dark/angsty. I just love this pairing to bits and pieces, I do. :D :D :D
For the TF:Animated version of the couple, I got the angsty love story-type plot. Percy was involved in all this twisted slag in the show (dead bodies turned into gestalt soldiers, flying giant war machines, and the like), so I figured: what if that's not all he did?
And as for his voice: I'll be honest, while the Stephen Hawkings-type voice didn't bother me so much, it was the explanation behind it. Deletion of emotions? I read that, and thought, "I buy it. But that can't be all there is to it."
So I wrote this.
Primus help me. This writing is not my best. DX
Questions? Comments? Incoherent ramblings? Let me know in the comment section below, and thank you!!!!
mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri;mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-fareast-language:
EN-US;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA">“I’m sorry, so sorry….come back”, Perceptor felt himself whisper, reaching for Moonracer and watching her run away in tears, in the spaces between his digits.
That was his last memory of her. Now…now she was gone, forever lost to the stars, until she and her friends found Elita-1. Who was dead.
If only. If only he hadn’t lied to her.
The solar cycles passed. His body healed from the attack, but his spark-his spark hurt. It hurt badly, even though Red Alert said nothing was physically degenerating.
All those experiments, the test subjects: the insane bots, the defunct bots, the offline shells of bots, the tampered protoforms, the unwilling---all unwilling victims, not volunteers---all for a war that only hurt. Even for the victors.
All that, done in the dark, in secret, so bots like Moonracer never had to know just how the Autobots kept winning their battles.
If only. If only he hadn’t convinced himself it was for the best, it was to win the war, in the name of peace and science.
Was losing his best friend Primus’ way of punishing him? What was worse was that she wasn’t offline. Nothing physical kept them apart. But she chose to follow her mentor’s journey to find her friend, instead of staying with him.
If only. If only he wasn’t so selfish. Sure, Wheeljack would think it was selfish, but what did he know about sacrificing one’s soul (if such a thing existed) for the greater good? Perceptor gave his intellect, his creations, his work, his time to the Autobot cause. Was he not due some happiness?
The scientific answer to all problems was to find the source.
Back. Before the almost kiss that Wheeljack interrupted. Before Moonracer thought him to shoot. Before she called him ‘Percy’. Before she saved him from one of Wheeljack’s inventions gone awry. Before that time she punched him after he scolded her about organizing his things. Before that solar cycle she came to the Guild Scientius, wanting to be ‘helpful’.
If only. If only he didn’t approach the whole thing scientifically.
This was not rocket science, puzzles and numbers he could touch with his servos and pull apart in his mind. It was all so….hard. The spark….his spark…..his emotions…..it hurt….it all hurt…..science = the search for truth……
….the truth: he loved her.
Loves her still. She’s gone but she still haunts him and it hurts and the source of it all were the emotions in his spark.
Get rid of it. Not his spark, oh no, he was too valuable.
If only. If only he didn’t try to be rid of his emotions.
And in trying to lose his emotions he lost his memories of her.
If only. If only he had lost the emotions, too. But no. They are still trapped within him. But he won’t be aware of it. He doesn’t remember that he wanted to just push it all away. So, so badly.
If only. If only he knew.
That she still loves him, too.