Just gotta get these out of my poor brain.
Oh, and I've got a question: Who do you think are the lowest ranking ‘Bot and ‘Con “officers” - the ones who are only barely above the rank-and-file? I have a vague idea that’s trying to develop into a full-fledged bunny but I feel like I need names.
1. Every single ‘Bot (or every single ‘Con) is a spy for the other side, except for Optimus (or Megatron) and a few others. Some of the spies’ records have been lost - or there was an accident and they were presumed dead when they were really just going deeper undercover - so their fellow spies don’t know who they are, as they were sent later.
2. ???: Really, Optimus, the Autobots could have adapted to Decepticon society. There would be a place for all of us (or ‘them’, depending on who’s talking). The only reason that Cybertron isn’t at peace right now is you.
3. Perceptor finds out that ‘tough’ Brawn is actually addicted to steroids. The same steroids that Perceptor produces (with chemicals paid for by the Autobot budget) and sells on the black market (via Swindle) to fund his private experiments.
4. (Girl Genius-inspired, again) GG-style AU. The scientists (of both factions) rule the Cybertronian Empire. Mad Science is in total control. Instead of sparky humans building clanks, the ‘sparky’ Cybertronian scientists genetically engineer organics for various jobs. You could make the standard leaders into ‘sparks’ (i.e. Baron Megatron and his creation Optimus), or use the canon scientists (i.e. Baron Wheeljack and his creation Perceptor). Maybe the Seeker trine could be the Jäger trio?
5. “Rather comforting to know there’s someone whose life sucks more than yours, eh?”
6. Perceptor is captured by the ‘Cons, who want him to work on some scientific device, and he does this:
“And all the while Perceptor’s resisting the urge to grab the person he's talking to and repeatedly slamming their head against the wall screaming ‘DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME NOW?!’” ~kirin_saga
Somehow I’m thinking that if he was dealing with ‘Cons, he’d be a lot less likely to resist the urge. Heck, if he did it to Starscream, Megatron might even be amused enough to let him go.
7. Someone tries out a type of human fortune-telling, like tarot cards, out of curiosity. The reading he gets is disturbingly accurate.
8. AU. The Autobots woke up first (they may or may not have received the same alt modes as the normal-verse Decepticons). Not knowing what to do with the ‘Cons, they just left them offline. When some humans stumbled upon the Ark, they were horrified at the Decepticons’ condition and managed to wake them. (Really, if the ‘Cons could convince the humans to give them free energy in exchange for ‘protection’ from the ‘Bots, I don’t think either the ‘Cons or the humans would have any problem with being allies.)
9. Prowl x Soundwave or Jazz x Shockwave (I don’t think there’s any of this already out there... right?...)
10. An immortal god (or goddess), hidden in mortal form. When he falls in love, he copies the thought processes and patterns (and maybe even memories) of his beloved so that he can ‘reincarnate’ his partner into a new form when the old one wears out. However, since the new form has a different spark, the ‘reincarnated’ beloved does not return the god’s affection or even recognize him.
11. A pep rally.
12. He would wonder how that sentence would have ended for the rest of his life.
13. The pacifistic and purely intellectual mechs team up and take control of the most powerful warrior mechs’ minds.
14. AU 2007verse. Bumblebee didn’t just lose his voice at Tyger Pax. He died.
15. Perceptor is deaf. He is able to communicate with others by visualizing sound waves. That’s why he doesn’t understand most body language - he’s too busy ‘looking’ at the sound to see the accompanying motions. That’s also why he doesn’t like loud parties, arguments, and battles; ‘seeing’ all that sound makes his processor ache. In addition, he can ‘visualize’ extreme emotions; if there’s a really furious argument going on, the combination of visualized sound and anger can lock up his processor entirely.
16. Thanks to his invention of corrostop, Perceptor is suddenly getting invited to a lot of human parties.
17. (From the TF Wiki) One wonders if the reason that the Decepticons haven't yet won the war is that Megatron himself is an enormous pansy. One little chunk of asteroid embedded in his shoulder has him throwing a fit about how terribly wounded he is.
18. (From the TF Wiki) For some reason, Megatron would rather trust Starscream to give him medical attention than, say, anyone else on base.
19. Cybertronians never had their own vocal language. That’s why even the Decepticons are always heard to speak English.
20. The human race is gone. The Autobots and Decepticons (together or separately) discuss what this means. (The war could be ongoing, or it might have ended at some point.)
21. No one knew who the mech’s actual creators were. Extensive searches and inquiries revealed no record of his existence and his behavior was… peculiar. As if he had been explicitly instructed how to behave in normal society and understood the theory, but applied it in an unusual manner. That’s because he was adopted and raised by…
A. …Primus. The mech grew up running wild on Cybertron, an unexplained orphan in a world where no one existed without a specific purpose. Because he had won over the gentle spark of the planet himself, no building was closed to him and no threat, however dire, was allowed to harm him. Sufficient amounts of energon would inexplicably appear in whichever dark alley he chose to recharge; his every step was guarded by his loving step-creator.
Though the orphan did not presume to think that Primus himself was watching over him, he did have an exuberant, childish affection for whatever higher power kept him from simply disappearing off the streets as other abandoned sparklings tended to do. In return, Primus loved his step-creation with all the strength of his spark-core and, deprived of his own mobility, delighted in the orphan’s small (but always safe) adventures.
The orphan grew in intelligence and resourcefulness. When it was time, Primus found the foremost experts in transformtech and influenced them to (unknowingly) build superb upgrades for his step-creation. The experts believed that they were working for a mysterious, eccentric noblemech who simply wished to spoil his creation. Certainly, the upgraders were well-compensated for their work.
Slowly, Primus began to fear that his step-creation was growing distant. He often turned his consciousness to observe his little one, only to find him gazing wistfully at the stars. Primus sensed the orphan’s love was turning away from him and toward the great mysteries beyond his reach, far distant from the one whose deepest wish was to protect him from that frightening universe which would seek to do him harm. Primus knew that the beloved orphan he had adopted would one day leave to seek his fortune elsewhere. Because of Primus’ depression, the many sources of energon scattered throughout Cybertron began to lessen their output and eventually, one by one, they failed.
When the mech - a sparkling no longer, endowed with unbelievable talents hidden among the best upgrades Primus could provide - finally left Cybertron, Primus wept for his step-creation. If only the little one had known that all he had to do to end the energon crisis was promise his step-creator that he would remain with him always! As the ages passed and Primus’ adopted one did not return, despair consumed the deity-world from without and from within…
B. …Unicron. The mech sometimes had a tendency to act as if he was much smaller than he really was, and was unusually calm when dealing with his more temperamental comrades (and enemies). Also, he had a knack for calming others down when they were upset or frustrated, and, oddly enough, could often convince someone to postpone a rash action until they had better control of their emotions. However, despite his patience with certain other mechs’… quirks… he DESPISED being ignored.
22. Continuing with the Cassettes-as-various-family-members trend… All the cassettes (‘Bots and ‘Cons) are Soundwave’s little brothers. Soundwave created Blaster to help him take care of all the little fraggers, but Blaster grew to resent Soundwave and ran away, taking his favorites with him and leaving the others with Soundwave.
1. Every single ‘Bot (or every single ‘Con) is a spy for the other side, except for Optimus (or Megatron) and a few others. Some of the spies’ records have been lost - or there was an accident and they were presumed dead when they were really just going deeper undercover - so their fellow spies don’t know who they are, as they were sent later.
2. ???: Really, Optimus, the Autobots could have adapted to Decepticon society. There would be a place for all of us (or ‘them’, depending on who’s talking). The only reason that Cybertron isn’t at peace right now is you.
3. Perceptor finds out that ‘tough’ Brawn is actually addicted to steroids. The same steroids that Perceptor produces (with chemicals paid for by the Autobot budget) and sells on the black market (via Swindle) to fund his private experiments.
4. (Girl Genius-inspired, again) GG-style AU. The scientists (of both factions) rule the Cybertronian Empire. Mad Science is in total control. Instead of sparky humans building clanks, the ‘sparky’ Cybertronian scientists genetically engineer organics for various jobs. You could make the standard leaders into ‘sparks’ (i.e. Baron Megatron and his creation Optimus), or use the canon scientists (i.e. Baron Wheeljack and his creation Perceptor). Maybe the Seeker trine could be the Jäger trio?
5. “Rather comforting to know there’s someone whose life sucks more than yours, eh?”
6. Perceptor is captured by the ‘Cons, who want him to work on some scientific device, and he does this:
“And all the while Perceptor’s resisting the urge to grab the person he's talking to and repeatedly slamming their head against the wall screaming ‘DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME NOW?!’” ~kirin_saga
Somehow I’m thinking that if he was dealing with ‘Cons, he’d be a lot less likely to resist the urge. Heck, if he did it to Starscream, Megatron might even be amused enough to let him go.
7. Someone tries out a type of human fortune-telling, like tarot cards, out of curiosity. The reading he gets is disturbingly accurate.
8. AU. The Autobots woke up first (they may or may not have received the same alt modes as the normal-verse Decepticons). Not knowing what to do with the ‘Cons, they just left them offline. When some humans stumbled upon the Ark, they were horrified at the Decepticons’ condition and managed to wake them. (Really, if the ‘Cons could convince the humans to give them free energy in exchange for ‘protection’ from the ‘Bots, I don’t think either the ‘Cons or the humans would have any problem with being allies.)
9. Prowl x Soundwave or Jazz x Shockwave (I don’t think there’s any of this already out there... right?...)
10. An immortal god (or goddess), hidden in mortal form. When he falls in love, he copies the thought processes and patterns (and maybe even memories) of his beloved so that he can ‘reincarnate’ his partner into a new form when the old one wears out. However, since the new form has a different spark, the ‘reincarnated’ beloved does not return the god’s affection or even recognize him.
11. A pep rally.
12. He would wonder how that sentence would have ended for the rest of his life.
13. The pacifistic and purely intellectual mechs team up and take control of the most powerful warrior mechs’ minds.
14. AU 2007verse. Bumblebee didn’t just lose his voice at Tyger Pax. He died.
15. Perceptor is deaf. He is able to communicate with others by visualizing sound waves. That’s why he doesn’t understand most body language - he’s too busy ‘looking’ at the sound to see the accompanying motions. That’s also why he doesn’t like loud parties, arguments, and battles; ‘seeing’ all that sound makes his processor ache. In addition, he can ‘visualize’ extreme emotions; if there’s a really furious argument going on, the combination of visualized sound and anger can lock up his processor entirely.
16. Thanks to his invention of corrostop, Perceptor is suddenly getting invited to a lot of human parties.
17. (From the TF Wiki) One wonders if the reason that the Decepticons haven't yet won the war is that Megatron himself is an enormous pansy. One little chunk of asteroid embedded in his shoulder has him throwing a fit about how terribly wounded he is.
18. (From the TF Wiki) For some reason, Megatron would rather trust Starscream to give him medical attention than, say, anyone else on base.
19. Cybertronians never had their own vocal language. That’s why even the Decepticons are always heard to speak English.
20. The human race is gone. The Autobots and Decepticons (together or separately) discuss what this means. (The war could be ongoing, or it might have ended at some point.)
21. No one knew who the mech’s actual creators were. Extensive searches and inquiries revealed no record of his existence and his behavior was… peculiar. As if he had been explicitly instructed how to behave in normal society and understood the theory, but applied it in an unusual manner. That’s because he was adopted and raised by…
A. …Primus. The mech grew up running wild on Cybertron, an unexplained orphan in a world where no one existed without a specific purpose. Because he had won over the gentle spark of the planet himself, no building was closed to him and no threat, however dire, was allowed to harm him. Sufficient amounts of energon would inexplicably appear in whichever dark alley he chose to recharge; his every step was guarded by his loving step-creator.
Though the orphan did not presume to think that Primus himself was watching over him, he did have an exuberant, childish affection for whatever higher power kept him from simply disappearing off the streets as other abandoned sparklings tended to do. In return, Primus loved his step-creation with all the strength of his spark-core and, deprived of his own mobility, delighted in the orphan’s small (but always safe) adventures.
The orphan grew in intelligence and resourcefulness. When it was time, Primus found the foremost experts in transformtech and influenced them to (unknowingly) build superb upgrades for his step-creation. The experts believed that they were working for a mysterious, eccentric noblemech who simply wished to spoil his creation. Certainly, the upgraders were well-compensated for their work.
Slowly, Primus began to fear that his step-creation was growing distant. He often turned his consciousness to observe his little one, only to find him gazing wistfully at the stars. Primus sensed the orphan’s love was turning away from him and toward the great mysteries beyond his reach, far distant from the one whose deepest wish was to protect him from that frightening universe which would seek to do him harm. Primus knew that the beloved orphan he had adopted would one day leave to seek his fortune elsewhere. Because of Primus’ depression, the many sources of energon scattered throughout Cybertron began to lessen their output and eventually, one by one, they failed.
When the mech - a sparkling no longer, endowed with unbelievable talents hidden among the best upgrades Primus could provide - finally left Cybertron, Primus wept for his step-creation. If only the little one had known that all he had to do to end the energon crisis was promise his step-creator that he would remain with him always! As the ages passed and Primus’ adopted one did not return, despair consumed the deity-world from without and from within…
B. …Unicron. The mech sometimes had a tendency to act as if he was much smaller than he really was, and was unusually calm when dealing with his more temperamental comrades (and enemies). Also, he had a knack for calming others down when they were upset or frustrated, and, oddly enough, could often convince someone to postpone a rash action until they had better control of their emotions. However, despite his patience with certain other mechs’… quirks… he DESPISED being ignored.
22. Continuing with the Cassettes-as-various-family-members trend… All the cassettes (‘Bots and ‘Cons) are Soundwave’s little brothers. Soundwave created Blaster to help him take care of all the little fraggers, but Blaster grew to resent Soundwave and ran away, taking his favorites with him and leaving the others with Soundwave.