Late afternoon, a weekend

[tezcatl_ipoca]

It's a cold afternoon, and grey. Nothing like the last afternoon Al and I spent in the woods, but it doesn't matter - we're not out here for the weather. In the rucksack on my back the whiskey bottle is buried under a blanket and torch and matches. Our winter coats have been brought out of storage now, and I think later I'll be glad to have mine

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[al_shairan]

I feel Tez fasten my trousers. I just lie back, feeling blood roar in my ears. The sky's turned purple-blue since we ... started.

"You guys're amazin', y'know'at?"

I feel colour flood my cheeks. Now that it's over, I can't quite believe what we've done. I sit up and run a hand through my hair, pulling out a leaf.

"It's getting late," I say. "I suppose we'll have to go back soon." I clear my throat, but I'm not sure of what else to say.

[tezcatl_ipoca]

When I finally manage to look at Syl she's smiling. "You guys're amazin', y'know'at?"

I blink at her for a moment, because...amazing? It strikes me as a curious thing to say. I don't feel amazing at all right now, I feel embarrassed and awkward and worried. But at least she's not horrified or something.

"It's getting late." Al's absolutely crimson. I'm not sure which of us should be more embarrassed about what Syl just saw. I mean, I'm the one who.... Normally now I'd lean over and kiss Al, but I pass him the whisky instead and start picking at the edge of the blanket.

"I need to - um. Dry out a bit first." I gesture helplessly to the front of my trousers, and I think I must be as red as Al.

Oh, god, how are any of us going to look each other in the face at the next rehearsal?

[syl_thorn]

Tez kinda blinks't me, but'en looks 'way. Al don't look't me't all. 'm feelin' all head-buzzy'n happy 'n still all warm from comin'...but'at starts slippin' 'way. Why won't'ey look't me? 're they sorry?

"It's getting late. I suppose we'll have to go back soon." Al says, brushin'is hair back inta place.

"I need to - um. Dry out a bit first." Tez says. 'e's gone all red. Both ovvem have.

"Um." I says. Startin' t'get cold, an'I toss 'nother log on th'fire. Dammit, wuz feelin' so good ten seconds ago... "We don't hafta go jes' yet. Still got some time, I mean."

We's all quiet ferra minute, an'I feel like I gotta say somethin', so I say, "Al? S'your turn."

[al_shairan]

Oh lord, this is unbearable... I have never felt so embarrassed in my life, and I so very rarely feel embarrassed.

"We don't hafta go jes' yet. Still got some time, I mean."

All I really want to do right now is go back to school and sneak into the showers so I can get clean. And possibly cry, because I feel very strange and almost wobbly.

"Al? S'your turn."

I'm not sure I'm in the mood for games. I poke the fire with a stick.

"Why -" I clear my throat. "That dare. Were you just curious, or..." I shake my head. "I suppose that would be asking you for a truth out of turn, wouldn't it?" I glance over at her and manage a weak smile. "Alright... Truth." I'm not sure there are many truths I want to answer right now, but just thinking of a dare makes me feel I'll blush again.

[tezcatl_ipoca]

"We don't hafta go jes' yet. Still got some time, I mean." Syl doesn't sound quite herself either; she's got the same uncertain note in her voice she had after Al yelled at her. "Al? S'your turn."

Al's really not looking happy. He's poking at the fire again, not really looking at either of us. "Why - that dare. Were you just curious, or... I suppose that would be asking you for a truth out of turn, wouldn't it?" I'd like to know the answer to that, too. I remember her rocking her hips and biting her lip, and have to bite my own.

He looks at her at last, and at least he's smiling. I shift over on the blanket and brush my fingers against his, just a tiny bit, almost like I'm afraid someone will see. And I take another long swallow of the whisky, in the hope that I'll stop feeling so horribly horribly self-conscious.

"Alright... Truth."None of the things I would have asked him earlier seem right now. And I can't remember whose turn it is to ask him, anyway, not after all that...mine, I suppose, since I did the dare. But

[syl_thorn]

Al looks almost sick. I mean, really, 'e looks 'bout ready t'puke. 'm startin' t'feel'at way m'self. Dammit, dammit, we didn't do nothin' wrong...

...did we?

'e pokes't th'fire. "Why - That dare. Were you just curious, or..." 'e stops, "I suppose that would be asking you for a truth out of turn, wouldn't it?"

"Y'c'n ask anyway," I says, kinda shruggin'. Truth is I ain't s'sure m'self. But I don't go on, 'cuz Al looks't me'n kinda smiles, an't ain't so good bu's better than a couple minutes ago. "Alright... Truth."

I wanna ask if'n'e's sorry. I wanna ask if'n we's still friends. But'at sounds bloody drippy even'n m'head, an'm thinkin' mebbe we oughta jes' move past allovit... "If'n y'could be anywhere in th'world wit' anybody doin' anythin', what'dja choose?"

[al_shairan]

"If'n y'could be anywhere in th'world wit' anybody doin' anythin', what'dja choose?"

I'm a bit surprised by her question, though I suppose she wants to change the subject. Which is probably a good idea. I look into the fire thoughtfully.

"I'm not sure," I say. "Somewhere - warm, I think. Maybe Greece," I say, glancing up at Tez and smiling a bit. "Somewhere warm, and old, with ruins and olive groves and the sea." I swallow. "I'd - like Tez to be there. I... wouldn't much mind what we did, as long as we were together." I feel my ears burn a bit, admitting that. It sounds awfully wet. "We could have our own place..." I look up at Syl. "With space, you know, for a friend to stay."

[tezcatl_ipoca]

I suppose she's not going to answer Al's question, now - it looks like we're all going to pretend it didn't happen. I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed.

Al's smiling at me, though: "I'm not sure," I say. "Somewhere - warm, I think. Maybe Greece. Somewhere warm, and old, with ruins and olive groves and the sea. I'd - like Tez to be there. I... wouldn't much mind what we did, as long as we were together."

I feel my stomach turn the most ridiculous sort of flop at that, tenderness and happiness and relief. I take his hand properly and give it a squeeze. It sounds...perfect.

"We could have our own place... With space, you know, for a friend to stay."

And that sounds better still. Not least because it means that Al's not mad at her. "I'd like that," I say, a bit shyly. I turn and look at Syl: it's her turn now, and I'm half-hoping and half-fearing that she'll choose truth.

[syl_thorn]

Al's quiet ferra minute, lookin' inta th'fire, buttis face don't havvat sick, pale look no more, so'm thinkin's a good thin'. "I'm not sure. Somewhere - warm, I think. Maybe Greece, Somewhere warm, and old, with ruins and olive groves and the sea." Pauses'n swallows, an' says what've already guessed, "I'd - like Tez to be there. I... wouldn't much mind what we did, as long as we were together." An'en'e looks up't me. "With space, you know, for a friend to stay."

An' sudd'nly'm warm all over 'gain. S'okay. We's okay. An'm smilin' attim, cuzzi dunno if'n'e gets jes' how much hearin'at means t'me.

"I'd like that," Tez says, an'I nod.

"Me too," I says, "sounds jes' 'bout perfect."

Tez's lookin't me. Blody hell, my turn 'gain. Think we's had nuffa dares ferra bit... "Truth."

[tezcatl_ipoca]

"Truth."

The tension's eased, but I can't let it go. I just can't. Otherwise it'll be there, the whole time, waiting to ruin everything. So though it's really Al's turn to ask the question, I blurt out, "Syl - why did you - that dare. I thought you didn't - like boys. Was I wrong?"

[syl_thorn]

It's Tez who asks, even if'n't's Al's turn. Syl - why did you - that dare. I thought you didn't - like boys. Was I wrong?"

Okay, well, I did say'd answer't..."I...don't. I don't think so. 'mean...'ve thought about it. Wit' boys." Jesus, here comes'at stomach churnin' again. Fuckin'ell, keep't t'gether, bitch. "But I go fer girls. So I dunno. But th'two've you look so nice t'gether...." Quiet ferra few minutes, pick uppa stick 'n poke't th'fire. "An'I don't really know why I said't. I mean, ain't gonna lie'n say I wuzn't cur'ous, cuzzi sure's hell wuz. But I think..." take th'bottle. We got mebbe a third ovvit left, an'I take a swallow, "I think's cuz you guys looked like you really wanted to, an't wuz say't 'r leave. An'I didn't wanna - " be alone " - go."

[al_shairan]

Tez takes my hand and squeezes it, and Syl looks happy, and things are - if not exactly right again, they are getting there. I think the whisky is starting to wear off. My mouth is dry, and there's a low ache in the back of my head. But it's alright. I take a sip from the bottle to help steady my still racing nerves, and then I put it down again.

Then Tez, of course, asks Syl about her interests. I can't help my mouth turning down a bit at that. I think I'm - disappointed, though more in myself than Tez. Because what happened here - it's probably encouraged him to want -

And then Syl says she doesn't like boys, and I feel my shoulders relax. And she sounds so... bally sad about things that I move around the fire and put my arm around her shoulder.

[tezcatl_ipoca]

"I...don't. I don't think so. 'mean...'ve thought about it. Wit' boys." I feel a stupid little breath of hope at that. If she's thought about it - and all three of us were here, and she...enjoyed it - "But I go fer girls. So I dunno. But th'two've you look so nice t'gether...."

...It's probably for the best. Al's wasn't looking too happy about me asking, and I feel guilty about that - though that last bit, about us looking nice together, I never thought anyone would say anything like that, like her earlier you're amazing.

She picks up Al's stick and pokes at the fire. One of the charred logs falls down in an upwards shower of sparks. "An'I don't really know why I said't. I mean, ain't gonna lie'n say I wuzn't cur'ous, cuzzi sure's hell wuz. But I think...I think's cuz you guys looked like you really wanted to, an't wuz say't 'r leave. An'I didn't wanna - go."Al moves round and hugs her. I would, but I'm not sure Al would take it the right way. Syl sounded so folorn when she said that, about not wanting to go. I suddenly

[syl_thorn]

'm lookin' inta th'fire, so't kinda startles me when Al comes 'round 'n sits b'side me, huggin' me. Startles me...but inna real good way. He jes' hugs me, an'I smile attim, an' lean inta'is shoulder a bit, an'm glad, so damn glad that we's friends.

"I'm glad you didn't leave," Tez says, annat makes me feel good too, cuzzi ain't sorry't happened, it wuz nice, annit wuz fun, an' we all hadda good time...why th'hell should we be 'shamed?

"Thanks guys." I says, smilin' both ovvem, an'I lean m'head on Al's shoulder ferra minute. "Really. Thanks."

We sit like'at ferra few minutes. Really is startin' t'get dark now, an'I sigh's I sit up. "One more 'round b'fore we go back? Al?"

[al_shairan]

It's nice, sitting like this. Syl's warm against my side, and though it doesn't feel like it does when I sit like this with Tez, it's... comforting.

"One more 'round b'fore we go back? Al?"

"I think it's Tez's go, isn't it?" I say, looking at him.

[tezcatl_ipoca]

"I think it's Tez's go, isn't it?"

I look at them both, and smile - and not just because they look lovely together, but because they both look happy. Comfortable. I think I could look at them all night.

"Truth," I say, thinking that we should probably avoid dares, and then feel a little stab of panic.