Three is not Five
Title: Three is not Five
Type: One-shot
Genre: Angst
Pairings: OT5, implied yunjae, implied homin
Summary: Months have passed after the 'temporary' split, and DBSK will never be, again.
I'm sure
We'll meet again someday
Whenever I close my eyes, I think of you
(You're everything)
That you'd be here
Is a given, even now
Until we meet again,
I'll be protecting the place you belong
I believe we'll be able to smile together once again
(Your heart smiles again)
***
The three members of popular group Tohoshinki - JeJung, YuChun, JunSu - kicked off their Dome tour at Osaka Kyocera Dome on the 5th.
It's been almost 5 months since JeJung and YuChun stood on stage. It's the first live for the trio. They created a new record for the venue with 46,000 audiences attended, making it the largest number of audiences at Kyocera Dome. At that venue, in the midst of the audience's cheering, being overwhelmed with emotion, JeJung said in tears, "We were very worried and insecure when we were planning for this live. We wondered if fans would come to see us…. But I'm glad now." JunSu also got teary and said, "I'm very glad that a lot of you came." In total, they sang 18 songs with enthusiasm. Amongst the 18 songs, there are 4 new songs; and one is called "Itsudatte Kimi ni" (To you, always), whose release date is undecided.
Since last July, the trio has been on a legal dispute with their Korean agency regarding their contracts. After holding many conferences, they have come to a bitter decision to stop Tohoshinki's activities indefinitely. YuChun even said that he wanted to retire as a singer. However, thanks to the warm words of encouragement by fans, he regained himself and was able to stand on his feet again.
The concert of this Dome tour is to express their gratitude towards fans. In the end, YuChun said in tears, "We decided to continue singing to express our gratitude towards fans." JeJung also said while weeping, "We want to bring you smiles."
***
Yunho knocked twice and opened the door gently. Creak. He walked into the familiar bedroom and switched on the lights. Changmin was at his desk, headphones hanging at his neck, staring out of the window.
Yunho sat down at the edge of the bed, looking at what Changmin was staring at. Nothing really, in particular. Some trees, the massive stretch of a blue sky, the occasional bird.
“Did you hear them?”
“What?”
“Them.”
“What - Oh. Oh.” Changmin turned around in his chair. “Yeah, I did.”
Yunho stared hard at his bedroom slippers. There was a small Bambi on each, but one of the ears of the Bambi was cut off by Jaejoong because that was the time he lost one of Jaejoong’s favourite scarves.
“It’s not like we can do anything about it now, hyung. What is done, is done.”
“Why does it have to come to this?”
“I don’t know.”
Yunho looked up at Changmin. “I hate them sometimes for this, you know.”
“Me too.” Changmin paused, and walked over to Yunho. “Sometimes I wished DBSK never happened at all, so that it wouldn’t hurt so much right now.”
Yunho blinked back his tears. “Sometimes I wished that too, but then if DBSK never happened, I would never have found you.”
Changmin smiled a small smile, his vision blurring slightly because of the tears welling up in his eyes. “At least we can be sure they are hurting more than we are.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better at all.” Yunho choked.
“At least, we are all in it together for this.” Changmin grabbed Yunho into a tight, bone-crushing hug. “And you have me. You always, always, always have me.”
***
Sometimes the three of them talk about it, they sit down, drink themselves silly and cry about it. When they are drunk, everything feels a little better, and maybe all this shit wasn’t happening at all. Tomorrow, they would wake up, and they would be DBSK, Rising Gods of the East, once again. They would go on stage and sing to a 800,000 strong Cassiopeia and to the rest of the world. They would sing Bolero, Love in the Ice and Mirotic. Yes, everything was going to be just okay.
***
Eventually, they all move on, of course. Yoochun decided to do a drama. So does Jaejoong. They do reasonably well, as usual. Junsu continued to work on his solo project, a shining XIAH Junsu that could not be more well-received by fans all over the world. But moving on didn’t mean it was going to easy.
***
Jaejoong missed cooking for five. Jaejoong missed holding Yunho’s hand, complaining to the leader, sharing his worries with him. Together, it had always felt like there was nothing they couldn’t solve as long as they had each other. Jaejoong missed fighting with Changmin, he missed how Changmin’s smile when dinner was served, he missed his snarky remarks and honest criticism. Jaejoong had a lot of friends, really. But there was a difference between family and friends. He really, really missed being five.
Yoochun always thought that he could handle hardships rather well. But this was another thing all by its own. They record songs at the studio as J.Y.J and every single fucking time he sings into the mike he wishes they were DBSK and not a piece of it. The only reason he puts up with all of it is because he hears Junsu on his right, Jaejoong on his left, they are all trying their damn best to put it all together, to pull through. He knows this is what they had signed up for initially. The three of them sound good together, he had to admit that, but Yoochun thinks they sounded better when they were five.
Junsu had regretted the moment he agreed to this. He knew the other two probably did too, but they never talk about it. They would never talk about regret. Talking about it would mean that this was all a mistake and that they were all fighting for nothing. Talking about it would mean they ruined DBSK, that they gave up so much for a mistake. “It’s not a mistake, you three fought for what you wanted.” That was what Junho told him. But Junsu didn’t want a J.Y.J and a XIAH Junsu. As much as he liked being XIAH Junsu and flying solo, he would rather have DBSK back. “DBSK had to end someday.” That’s not true, DBSK never had to end.
***
46, 000 audience members, they were told. J.Y.J was going to be huge. It was going to take Asia in a year flat, that’s what they were told too.
They were told many, many things.
But none of it mattered. J.Y.J was never going to be as big as DBSK in their hearts.
They prepared hard for the upcoming performances nonetheless. It was going to be their first live and they were going to sing hard, and sing it right to the ears of those whom they wanted them to hear. For Cassiopeia, for the other two.
***
The concert of this Dome tour is to express their gratitude towards fans. In the end, YuChun said in tears, "We decided to continue singing to express our gratitude towards fans." JeJung also said while weeping, "We want to bring you smiles."
***
5th July 2010, Osaka Kyocera Dome, Japan
“This is it.” Yoochun said softly as the three of them huddled in a group hug. Junsu nodded, lips pursed. “They are going to hear us.” Jaejoong whispered.
They stepped out onto the stage, and the same familiar, exhilarating adrenaline rush get to them. No matter how many times they do this, it’s different. Especially this time round - a new standing arrangement; harmonizing with only two others. Just three of them - Hey, we are J.Y.J.
They close their eyes for a while and take in the moment. The fans screaming, their feet on stage, mike in the left hand, everything is where it belongs.
There were no great stage effects like those they had before, no pyrotechnics, no laser stage show, and no extravagant fanciful costumes. It was a much smaller scale compared to any of their previous concerts, but perhaps, it spoke louder than any of their previous performances.
They sang eighteen songs. There was this particular song, they know some two people in this world would hear and understand. It was titled 'W'.
Floating in the night sky
The letter that the stars began to form
Wasn't just coincidental,
I still believe that
In the same darkness,
At the same distance,
Always depicting a "W"
So that you'll find it, it'll shine brighter
Keep in mind that I love you
I'm sure
We'll meet again someday
Whenever I close my eyes, I think of you
(You're everything)
That you'd be here
Is a given, even now
Now I'm just wishing for you to be happy
We'll climb the stairs before us, one at a time
And as we continue to imagine our future,
We'll wait for you
I'm sure
We'll meet again someday
Whenever I close my eves, I think of you
(You're everything)
That you'd be here
Is a given, even now
Until we meet again,
I'll be protecting the place you belong
I believe we'll be able to smile together once again
Regardless of the passage of time,
No matter what pain awaits us,
You'll always be our "pride"
What you whispered
To the stars in the night sky
Wasn't goodbye
Even now, I believe that
Under the same sky,
With the same dream,
We'll keep searching for the "W"
The shape won't change and it'll always shine, so
Keep in mind that I love
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you...
I'm sure
We'll meet again someday
Whenever I close my eyes, I think of you
(You're everything)
That you'd be here
Is a given, even now
Until we meet again,
I'll be protecting the place you belong
I believe we'll be able to smile together once again
(Your heart smiles again)
***
Jaejoong believed that ten years down the road, everything is going to be okay, they would still be friends. They couldn't possibly be awkward around each other, they are family. They would all meet up for drinks, bring their wives and kids and they will reminisce about the days that they were the Rising Gods of the East.
Junsu wished he could believe that Jaejoong was going to be right. But, he really wasn't sure at all. Yoochun stayed quiet while Junsu and Jaejoong talk about in hushed whispers, as if speaking about it was something wrong.
"It's going to be okay, Junsu-ah."
"I don't know, hyung."
"Why are you so pessimistic about this?"
"We are three now, Jaejoong. You. Me. Yoochun. J.Y.J."
Silence. "The two of them are not here with us anymore." Yoochun choked back a sob.
"It doesn't mean that we are no longer friends! What is wrong with the both of you, oh lord." Jaejoong downed his shot.
"It's not that, it's just...You keep bringing them up, hyung." Junsu looked up at Jaejoong. "And it fucking hurts."
"I know..." Jaejoong looked at Junsu with a soft, sad smile. "But it's so hard not to bring them up." Tears started to roll off the older man's face. Junsu reached over and held Jaejoong tight.
"We are Dong Bang Shin Ki, aren't we?" Jaejoong sobbed quietly.
There was another long silence before Junsu replied. Yoochun realised that it was because Junsu was crying too, and he couldn't be sure to speak without shaking too hard.
"No, hyung, we are not. We are J.Y.J now, and three is not five. Three will never be five." Junsu whispered, voice cracking ever so slightly.
Junsu reached over to Yoochun and pulled him in.
"We'll be okay, right? We've come this far." Junsu asked, hoping that Yoochun could reassure them both.
But alas, Yoochun's answer was as brutally honest as it could be. "I don't know."
a/n: okay i wrote this pretty quickly, had been reading too many of the J.Y.J fan accounts and this just popped into my head and i had to write something. if any of you come across fics that are linked to the J.Y.J con, rec me please? :)
credits: lyrics lyrics II fan acc I fan acc II