drabble: Holding On
Holding On
written on: Saturday, 09 January 2010, 2.02pm
drabble ; slight yoosu, yunjae
There were always tiny lines of cracks in a family that outsiders couldn't see. Yunho, Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu, Changmin - they held it in for so long, struggled to keep the pieces from falling apart. But what is destined to happen eventually happened and nothing seemed capable enough to piece them back together.
It was probably three years after DBSK ceased to exist. Changmin went to America, the land where all your dreams come true, studying corporate law. He didn't quite know what he was going to do, he had dreams, but none bigger than Dong Bang Shin Ki. Settling for second best was offending, but he had no choice. Yoochun had become a music producer, his muse was Junsu, his muse had always been Junsu. He wrote lyrics late into the night, surviving solely on caffeine - the words were always painful and raw and his songs always a hit. Park Yoochun, the music prodigy, was what they called him now. Junsu, unexpectedly, had gone into the food and beverage line, dealing with the franchises of his father's pizza shop. I don't want to sing without you guys, he had told Yoochun. It's just not the same.
Jaejoong called sometimes, seldom though, nobody knew where he is exactly, wanderlust had gotten the better of him and it probably was for the best. Nothing should, and nothing could ever hold Jaejoong down. Yunho was married to a schoolteacher a year and a half ago, her name was Chaeyeon. She was beautiful, and everything Yunho wished he could be. She had bore him a pair of twin boys. Yunho thought he finally felt a spark of joy after so long. This is where it all starts, this is what it's supposed to be like, he thought. This is where my life begins, he whispered as he carried his son in his arms.
Yunho's phone started ringing one night in his office, "Hello? Hello?" All Yunho could hear was static on the other end. Moments later, a soft familiar voice reached him, "-no-yah". Yunho gripped the phone tighter, God knows how much he missed this voice. "Jaejoong." They had not spoken for so long, there was so much to say, so much more they could not. Where do they even begin, or do they just continue leaving things hanging midway?
"I'm home." is all Jaejoong said, "I'm back." Yunho nodded, as if Jaejoong could see him, his eyes were already welling up with tears. "I missed you." Jaejoong said softly. "Me too." Yunho replied.
They met at the Han River. Yunho realised that Jaejoong still looked the same, as ethereal as before, save for a few fine lines that crinkled around his eye when he smiled. But otherwise, Jaejoong was Jaejoong, a big slab Yunho's home. "Hey!" Jaejoong laughed, waving. Yunho rushed forward to envelope him in a bear hug. "Finally," was all he said. Yunho missed this, really. He missed being able to feel, his heart had been numb ever since DBSK ceased to exist, ever since he made the wrong, or say, "right" choice, marrying Chaeyeon.
"Twins, huh?" Jaejoong said, taking out his pack of Merit Lights. It was a mistake, Yunho wanted to say. All of this shouldn't have happened. Come back home, stay here, don't go away anymore. But Yunho didn't. Sometimes things happen too fast, too right, and it becomes too late for anyone to do anything. Yunho had chosen what he felt was easy than what was right, to him. He wouldn't ever admit that he was gay, not three years ago. They would kiss in between schedules, do it in bed, but in the morning Jaejoong always found himself alone. We are young, we don't know what we are doing. This is wrong, Jae. He had told Jaejoong that, he had told himself that, it was his excuse, so Jaejoong left.
But here he was, seeing Jaejoong for the first time in three years and after minutes of silent smoking, it hit on him like an epiphany. When Jaejoong turned on his heels to leave, Yunho reached out and grabbed Jaejoong's hands, "I'm sorry." Jaejoong stopped dead in his tracks. "I was stupid. But i no longer will be." Yunho dropped his cigarette and stamped it out with his right heel. He grabbed Jaejoong and kissed him hard, until they were both gasping for air and smiling and crying. "I thought you'd never come to your senses." Jaejoong whispered. Yunho remained silent, holding on to Jaejoong tighter than ever before. He was never going to let go.
lmao this just popped into my head this morning, dk if it makes sense. ;___;