Naked ladies
Thanks to burkean, I discovered this little gem in last Friday's Dallas Morning News. It's a silly little piece about the absurd things that true believers try to get in the party platform. I suspect an equally nutty whackjob in the Democratic convention the week before tried something similar. I don't hold these moron particularly against the GOP. There are plenty of other things to hold against the GOP. This one, though, sort of hits close to home: HOUSTON - Robert Hurt went to Washington and didn't like what he saw - nudity in the nation's capital.
"Nude women, sculptured women," he told the state Republican platform committee, which sat in rapt attention.
Of all the evils in Washington that the Texas GOP took aim at this week, removing art with naked people from public view was high on the list for Mr. Hurt, a delegate from Kerrville.
"You don't have nude art on your front porch," he explained. "You possibly don't have nude art in your living rooms. So why is it important to have that in the common places of Washington, D.C.?"
Mr. Hurt offered statistics: He'd heard that 20 percent of the art in the National Gallery of Art is of nudes.
He offered detail: On Arlington Memorial Bridge overlooking the famed national cemetery, "there are two Lady Godivas, two women on horses with no shirt on and long hair."
Actually, they are classical sculptures about war - one called Valor, depicting a male equestrian and a female with a shield, and Sacrifice, a female accompanying the rider Mars.
Mr. Hurt, like John Ashcroft before him, objects to the naked female form in art.
I sort of snickered loudly when I saw this particular line, though "'You don't have nude art on your front porch,' he explained. 'You possibly don't have nude art in your living rooms...'" Mr. Hurt doesn't know my father.
My father's house, you see, is covered with nudes. Drawings, paintings, etchings, collages, statues, prints. Inside, outside, on the bread oven, in the middle of the yard. There isn't a room in the house that doesn't have at least two or three nudes in it.
The downstairs bathroom in particular is almost an homage to the naked lady. Guests sit on the john and have their pick of half a dozen women in various states of undress to gaze at. They grab hand towels off of a wooden statue of a naked lady. Another porcelin statue holds the soap. They are flanked by a painting on one side, a mixed media piece on the other.
There's a rather large abstract painting in the living room, with, as my late grandfather once pointed out to my very shocked mother, cock and a pussy sitting atop an abstract naked form. The rooster is red, the cat is black. That painting faces the statue we've dubbed Malbeca. She's similar to this young lady, but more naked. (The art afficionado in question is also in the photo.) Scattered on the coffee table are several bronze nudes.
A few months ago, my parents hosted a party and invited friends to bring their kids. We lost a pack of 12-14 year old boys because they decided to go on a naked lady treasure hunt. Quietest I've ever seen a group of kids of that age demographic. They just went room to room with their eyes wide open.
I suspect that Mr. Hunt wouldn't last two seconds in my parents' house.
"Nude women, sculptured women," he told the state Republican platform committee, which sat in rapt attention.
Of all the evils in Washington that the Texas GOP took aim at this week, removing art with naked people from public view was high on the list for Mr. Hurt, a delegate from Kerrville.
"You don't have nude art on your front porch," he explained. "You possibly don't have nude art in your living rooms. So why is it important to have that in the common places of Washington, D.C.?"
Mr. Hurt offered statistics: He'd heard that 20 percent of the art in the National Gallery of Art is of nudes.
He offered detail: On Arlington Memorial Bridge overlooking the famed national cemetery, "there are two Lady Godivas, two women on horses with no shirt on and long hair."
Actually, they are classical sculptures about war - one called Valor, depicting a male equestrian and a female with a shield, and Sacrifice, a female accompanying the rider Mars.
Mr. Hurt, like John Ashcroft before him, objects to the naked female form in art.
I sort of snickered loudly when I saw this particular line, though "'You don't have nude art on your front porch,' he explained. 'You possibly don't have nude art in your living rooms...'" Mr. Hurt doesn't know my father.
My father's house, you see, is covered with nudes. Drawings, paintings, etchings, collages, statues, prints. Inside, outside, on the bread oven, in the middle of the yard. There isn't a room in the house that doesn't have at least two or three nudes in it.
The downstairs bathroom in particular is almost an homage to the naked lady. Guests sit on the john and have their pick of half a dozen women in various states of undress to gaze at. They grab hand towels off of a wooden statue of a naked lady. Another porcelin statue holds the soap. They are flanked by a painting on one side, a mixed media piece on the other.
There's a rather large abstract painting in the living room, with, as my late grandfather once pointed out to my very shocked mother, cock and a pussy sitting atop an abstract naked form. The rooster is red, the cat is black. That painting faces the statue we've dubbed Malbeca. She's similar to this young lady, but more naked. (The art afficionado in question is also in the photo.) Scattered on the coffee table are several bronze nudes.
A few months ago, my parents hosted a party and invited friends to bring their kids. We lost a pack of 12-14 year old boys because they decided to go on a naked lady treasure hunt. Quietest I've ever seen a group of kids of that age demographic. They just went room to room with their eyes wide open.
I suspect that Mr. Hunt wouldn't last two seconds in my parents' house.