a kiss to build a dream on...
I tried to go out again today, trying desperately to take my mind off things to no avail. My mind is fucked.
I contacted Brenda tonight through Yahoo. I don't expect support in my decision, and all I can say is that I am broken and needed to hear a familiar voice. I didn't want a lengthy chat, just a moment of conversation. Rejection in my moment of need.
Pride before the fall. I've spent my adulthood trying to be a man of strength, always in control of my emotions. I am no longer. I crawled to her feet, pitiful and dying on the inside, only to be cast aside callously. I am left with the vision of myself in a vehicle, approaching a homeless man by the edge of the underpass. His eyes are vacant, and all the energy that is left in him is being used to stand.
His pain is tangible.
I look away.
I am now the transient, and a car approaches. It is Brenda, and our eyes lock for a brief moment. She turns away.
I didn't think I could feel any worse. I was loved deeply once, and now I am an inconvenience at best.
I am not meant to find love.
I contacted Brenda tonight through Yahoo. I don't expect support in my decision, and all I can say is that I am broken and needed to hear a familiar voice. I didn't want a lengthy chat, just a moment of conversation. Rejection in my moment of need.
Pride before the fall. I've spent my adulthood trying to be a man of strength, always in control of my emotions. I am no longer. I crawled to her feet, pitiful and dying on the inside, only to be cast aside callously. I am left with the vision of myself in a vehicle, approaching a homeless man by the edge of the underpass. His eyes are vacant, and all the energy that is left in him is being used to stand.
His pain is tangible.
I look away.
I am now the transient, and a car approaches. It is Brenda, and our eyes lock for a brief moment. She turns away.
I didn't think I could feel any worse. I was loved deeply once, and now I am an inconvenience at best.
I am not meant to find love.