insomnia strikes again....
"i was waiting for a cross town train the london underground when it struck me..."
because its 6:19 in the morning and im STILL not asleep...im going to update. ive been listening to random stuff latlely, and some of it makes me recall memories. depeche mode and as of tonight the postal service= spring semester of senior year. wow....my life then. UIL trip...denver....one-act....3 consecutive weekends in the meteroplex in april i think it was...one weekend in praticular in which harper and sydney were baptized and a house was found in coppell. although i forget the address now. graduation...the overwhelming feeling of just absolute joy, pain and confusion that comes with it. everything from january to may. the way the air smelled that year and the sunsets and the sound of rain hitting the car on a country road. those awful awful fights with not only my father but my best friend. going to the race( which i absolutely love...mmmmm loud engines fast cars mmmm happy place). my prom party which was a complete blast( the sahun and maylee make out fest on my couch). thor having a blast( miss you t-dog!!). finally getting my lead role that i worked so hard for, and giving it everything i had....and it not being enough infortunately. celebration and having an absolute blast with tiff. thespian initiation and having no idea that i was supposed to speek...and then proceeding to cry my eyes out when i did. and then afterward finally getting to drive the mini cooper and driving the hell out of it. thank you to everyone who touched and impacted my life those months and in the months since then. i think about where i was headed then and where i am now and it doesnt match up. the person i was then, and who i am now. my ideas on the world, love, people, school, career, everything. im scared of the future just as i was then. im scared to fail just like i was then. and im still afraid of letting everyone down. and im afraid i do it all too often.
because its 6:19 in the morning and im STILL not asleep...im going to update. ive been listening to random stuff latlely, and some of it makes me recall memories. depeche mode and as of tonight the postal service= spring semester of senior year. wow....my life then. UIL trip...denver....one-act....3 consecutive weekends in the meteroplex in april i think it was...one weekend in praticular in which harper and sydney were baptized and a house was found in coppell. although i forget the address now. graduation...the overwhelming feeling of just absolute joy, pain and confusion that comes with it. everything from january to may. the way the air smelled that year and the sunsets and the sound of rain hitting the car on a country road. those awful awful fights with not only my father but my best friend. going to the race( which i absolutely love...mmmmm loud engines fast cars mmmm happy place). my prom party which was a complete blast( the sahun and maylee make out fest on my couch). thor having a blast( miss you t-dog!!). finally getting my lead role that i worked so hard for, and giving it everything i had....and it not being enough infortunately. celebration and having an absolute blast with tiff. thespian initiation and having no idea that i was supposed to speek...and then proceeding to cry my eyes out when i did. and then afterward finally getting to drive the mini cooper and driving the hell out of it. thank you to everyone who touched and impacted my life those months and in the months since then. i think about where i was headed then and where i am now and it doesnt match up. the person i was then, and who i am now. my ideas on the world, love, people, school, career, everything. im scared of the future just as i was then. im scared to fail just like i was then. and im still afraid of letting everyone down. and im afraid i do it all too often.