Whatever

Jan 06, 2012 18:12

I'm not looking for someone to write with ( Read more... )

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jesusluvsjaeho January 7 2012, 01:42:09 UTC
it is your journal. use it as you wish. i'm cool with that. i wasn't judging you in your previous post or trying to tell you how to be. if it came across that way, i apologize.

i think trying to get help for depression is important. especially when it has led to suicidal thoughts and urges. but i am speaking from a selfish place. the place of someone who is not nearly over the loss of a best friend to suicide. i mean, i watched her sink and there seemed to be nothing i could do. so it pains me to witness somebody else sinking. probably that is selfish of me.

i don't see you as an RP person. i see you as an LJ friend who has bad times and good times. who has interests and dislikes.

maybe this comment will piss you off more. i don't know. but i do care. and it isn't because you ever did RP. and i'm okay with not writing with you because i wouldn't even know how to begin something like that. and my muses are pretty much "...." right now. i don't feel sympathy for you. i feel concern and fear. totally different from sympathy.

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tetsu_sama69 January 7 2012, 01:44:34 UTC
I don't care if people want to write with me or not. I just want a friend who sees me for who I really am.

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jesusluvsjaeho January 7 2012, 01:52:04 UTC
the hardest part of finding a friend who sees you as you really are is that you will always see yourself differently from anybody else. it isn't people trying to be mean or blind or obtuse. it is simply that nobody else lives in your head.

well...actually, i have a friend who has at least three other people living in her head. but that is not what i am talking about.

also, real friends, i mean the ones who will stand up for you, cry with you, laugh with you, tolerate your rambling about stuff you enjoy even if they don't...those are hard as hell to find. i don't know why but they are. :(

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tetsu_sama69 January 7 2012, 01:53:00 UTC
All I get told is I make excuses. So what's the point of saying anything at all.

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jesusluvsjaeho January 7 2012, 02:00:55 UTC
i don't think you are making excuses. i think you are feeling low right now. and, damnit, it is hard as hell to get up from that. suicidal tendencies =/= making excuses.

people who have never been there don't understand. simple fact. even those of us who have been can't fully understand what you are going through but we know it isn't about excuses.

are there ways to cope? yes. are those ways easy to do and maintain? fuck no. keeping the little beastie of depression at bay is a full-time fucking job.

you should say something. anything. and keep saying it until the right person/people hear you. which i know is easier said than done.

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tetsu_sama69 January 7 2012, 02:05:36 UTC
My mom knows what I'm going through too. Hell, she's more understanding than most. She's been supportive and smart as an example she's keeping me away from family gatherings cause I get the same shit from them every year.

I get the same shit from everyone.

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jesusluvsjaeho January 7 2012, 02:08:51 UTC
you are lucky to have an understanding, supportive, and smart mom.

i'm not trying to give you shit. >.<;;

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tetsu_sama69 January 7 2012, 02:11:26 UTC
You think I should just delete the sad scrubby posts and just not worry about shit anymore?

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jesusluvsjaeho January 7 2012, 02:35:22 UTC
i never said to delete anything or to not worry about shit. even if i were to say that, i have no right to demand it of you. your journal, your feelings, your life. you have to do it your way.

i'm commenting because i do give a damn. it may not mean much being that i'm basically a faceless grouping of words but i do give a damn.

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tetsu_sama69 January 7 2012, 02:36:06 UTC
I know you do and I'm not ignoring your words.

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jesusluvsjaeho January 7 2012, 02:39:01 UTC
this is off-topic but your icon selection is fascinating.

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tetsu_sama69 January 7 2012, 02:39:43 UTC
How so? ^^;

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jesusluvsjaeho January 7 2012, 02:41:22 UTC
the variety. and the expressions on the faces in them. and i don't recognize some of the people which makes them even more interesting to me for some reason.

love the HoMin!explosive hand clasp icon. ^___^

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tetsu_sama69 January 7 2012, 02:42:42 UTC
It's the wide range of crazy bands and all that I am into.

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jesusluvsjaeho January 7 2012, 02:45:26 UTC
i often wish i had a wide range of crazy bands that i was into. instead i keep getting caught in kpop fandoms. like MBLAQ releasing a new mini-album or whatever they call it? it distracts me from other groups/bands. ::sigh::

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tetsu_sama69 January 7 2012, 02:46:51 UTC
I just like to be all over the place and share what I love. Thus this...

http://tetsusama69.blogspot.com/

Yeah, they are releasing a new mini. I lulzed at the promo pics they look so silly.

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