random xanga dude
Every once in a while, I'll get an IM from some random guy from xanga. The conversations that ensue are pretty consistent in that I make dry remarks and they bombard me with an arsenal of words including "u" and "kno," as well as numerous homonym errors and a general lack of punctuation of any sort. The following is from tonight, and is case-in-point:
RandomXangaDude: hey
Me: hi
RXD: hows everything
Me: dandy, one moment - I'm on the phone
RXD: im zac not danny
Me: are you referencing my above comment?
RXD: yes
Me: if you take a closer look, I wrote "dandy"
Me: in reference to my state of being
RXD: oh
RXD: sorry
Me: haha
RXD: lol
RXD: its just who says dandy now a days?
Me: I do
Me: sets me apart, you might say
RXD: it does
RXD: i dont kno u but i can be damned to say i kno anyone like u
Me: you oughtn't damn yourself on purpose ;-)
RXD: lol
RXD: i damned myself alone for living 21 years of my life and not knowing u
Me: well fuck, he's a charmer
RXD: thats what my 3 grade teacher told me
Me: what a good grade...I really enjoyed 3rd grade
RXD: me 2
Me: so what's your story?
RXD: umm.. born alone and hopefully die wit a woman 20 years younger then me
RXD: no.. my story is i thing i got ur sn from xanga.com
RXD: sound about right?
Me: I'm sure
RXD: on my spare time i read other peoples xanga entries .. it helps pass time
RXD: ur must of caught my eye
Me: with my big flashy lights
Me: and Vegas showgirls
RXD: oh sounds sexy already
Me: it tends to draw a crowd
RXD: im sure
RXD: u have a name?
Me: I have three
RXD: pick one
Me: Fantastic
Me: it's my middle name
RXD: whats ur 1st name
RXD: and whats ur username on xanga
RXD: its in my history somewhere but wit all the blogs i go through i will have a hard time finding it
Me: same as my sn
RXD: lazy?
Me: Testificatio is the xanga
Me: Inamorata is the first name
RXd: no.. i mean lazy because u didnt wanna think of another name
Me: not lazy, logical
RXD: yea
Me: efficient
Me: let's be optimistic
RXD: u look like the joker
Me: makes sense, I have a terrific sense of humor
Me: minus the bad-guy vibes
RXD: lol
RXD: well wit a middle name like fantastic
Me: my whole life is a joke
Me: haha
RXD: like a knock knock joke?
RXD: or more like the one about the priest the rabbi and the buddhist in a bar
Me: probably a knock knock
Me: my jokes suck, and my humor is dry
Me: I'm the life of the party
Me: haha
RXD: lol
Me: (sarcasm abounds)
RXD: lol..
RXD: u seem like the life of the party.. or atleast around the people i kno
Me: dullards?
RXD: look at me for instance .. i read xanga blogs on my leisure
Me: yes, a common symptom of xanga addiction
Me: many are afflicted
Me: few survive
Me: I share your pain
Me: haha
RXD: im surviver baby
RXD: ima*
RXD: have u read mine?
RXD: its boring and useless.. but guess wat
RXD: thats my life
RXD: wanna trade places
RXD: wat i would give to be 20 again
Me: I'm almost there
RXD: the parties.. the orgies.. and lets not forget to mention the cheeseburgers
RXD: I heart metabolism
RXD: i heart swinging
Me: the quiet life holds its merits, too
RXD: it does.. but only if u enjoy celibacy
Me: some do
Me: and some take everything in moderation
RXD: well screw a steady stream of ass.. i want a boat load
Me: I can't help but get a visual of anal sex when anyone says "ass" in that context
RXD: lol.. is it a good visual?
Me: not so much
Me: I don't fancy the act
RXD: are you greek?
Me: not in the least
RXD: yea cuz those greeks like it anally hmm.. how do u say.. they like it in the back door
Me: and how many Greek people have expressed this preference to you?
RXD: none.. i stick to asians
RXD: there so sexy
RXD: and they do my home work for me
Me: I am blown away by the fact that each new statement you type is more racist than the last
RXD: lol
RXD: im sorry
RXD: i'll control myself
RXD: im guessing my screen name isnt gonna be saved on ur buddy list huh?
Me: I'm sure it'll stay put for a while
Me: if you say something that really offends me, it might catch the next flight to Guantanamo Bay
RXD: lol
RXD: i wont offend u
RXD: to be honest im attracted to u
RXD: ima mind fucker
RXD: i love smart girls
RXD: and u my friend turn me on
Me: then I'll make a bold move and say that good spelling and grammar turn me on
RXD: you are my dream girl
RXD: i wish you did not live so far away.
RXD: Are you single at the moment?
Me: no
Me: even if I were, you are being rather forward on little information
RXD: i understand
RXD: but where im from.. girls like you dont grow on trees
Me: not many are tree-born here, either
Me: must be the climate
No...just...no. At least I got a good laugh out of it :)
RandomXangaDude: hey
Me: hi
RXD: hows everything
Me: dandy, one moment - I'm on the phone
RXD: im zac not danny
Me: are you referencing my above comment?
RXD: yes
Me: if you take a closer look, I wrote "dandy"
Me: in reference to my state of being
RXD: oh
RXD: sorry
Me: haha
RXD: lol
RXD: its just who says dandy now a days?
Me: I do
Me: sets me apart, you might say
RXD: it does
RXD: i dont kno u but i can be damned to say i kno anyone like u
Me: you oughtn't damn yourself on purpose ;-)
RXD: lol
RXD: i damned myself alone for living 21 years of my life and not knowing u
Me: well fuck, he's a charmer
RXD: thats what my 3 grade teacher told me
Me: what a good grade...I really enjoyed 3rd grade
RXD: me 2
Me: so what's your story?
RXD: umm.. born alone and hopefully die wit a woman 20 years younger then me
RXD: no.. my story is i thing i got ur sn from xanga.com
RXD: sound about right?
Me: I'm sure
RXD: on my spare time i read other peoples xanga entries .. it helps pass time
RXD: ur must of caught my eye
Me: with my big flashy lights
Me: and Vegas showgirls
RXD: oh sounds sexy already
Me: it tends to draw a crowd
RXD: im sure
RXD: u have a name?
Me: I have three
RXD: pick one
Me: Fantastic
Me: it's my middle name
RXD: whats ur 1st name
RXD: and whats ur username on xanga
RXD: its in my history somewhere but wit all the blogs i go through i will have a hard time finding it
Me: same as my sn
RXD: lazy?
Me: Testificatio is the xanga
Me: Inamorata is the first name
RXd: no.. i mean lazy because u didnt wanna think of another name
Me: not lazy, logical
RXD: yea
Me: efficient
Me: let's be optimistic
RXD: u look like the joker
Me: makes sense, I have a terrific sense of humor
Me: minus the bad-guy vibes
RXD: lol
RXD: well wit a middle name like fantastic
Me: my whole life is a joke
Me: haha
RXD: like a knock knock joke?
RXD: or more like the one about the priest the rabbi and the buddhist in a bar
Me: probably a knock knock
Me: my jokes suck, and my humor is dry
Me: I'm the life of the party
Me: haha
RXD: lol
Me: (sarcasm abounds)
RXD: lol..
RXD: u seem like the life of the party.. or atleast around the people i kno
Me: dullards?
RXD: look at me for instance .. i read xanga blogs on my leisure
Me: yes, a common symptom of xanga addiction
Me: many are afflicted
Me: few survive
Me: I share your pain
Me: haha
RXD: im surviver baby
RXD: ima*
RXD: have u read mine?
RXD: its boring and useless.. but guess wat
RXD: thats my life
RXD: wanna trade places
RXD: wat i would give to be 20 again
Me: I'm almost there
RXD: the parties.. the orgies.. and lets not forget to mention the cheeseburgers
RXD: I heart metabolism
RXD: i heart swinging
Me: the quiet life holds its merits, too
RXD: it does.. but only if u enjoy celibacy
Me: some do
Me: and some take everything in moderation
RXD: well screw a steady stream of ass.. i want a boat load
Me: I can't help but get a visual of anal sex when anyone says "ass" in that context
RXD: lol.. is it a good visual?
Me: not so much
Me: I don't fancy the act
RXD: are you greek?
Me: not in the least
RXD: yea cuz those greeks like it anally hmm.. how do u say.. they like it in the back door
Me: and how many Greek people have expressed this preference to you?
RXD: none.. i stick to asians
RXD: there so sexy
RXD: and they do my home work for me
Me: I am blown away by the fact that each new statement you type is more racist than the last
RXD: lol
RXD: im sorry
RXD: i'll control myself
RXD: im guessing my screen name isnt gonna be saved on ur buddy list huh?
Me: I'm sure it'll stay put for a while
Me: if you say something that really offends me, it might catch the next flight to Guantanamo Bay
RXD: lol
RXD: i wont offend u
RXD: to be honest im attracted to u
RXD: ima mind fucker
RXD: i love smart girls
RXD: and u my friend turn me on
Me: then I'll make a bold move and say that good spelling and grammar turn me on
RXD: you are my dream girl
RXD: i wish you did not live so far away.
RXD: Are you single at the moment?
Me: no
Me: even if I were, you are being rather forward on little information
RXD: i understand
RXD: but where im from.. girls like you dont grow on trees
Me: not many are tree-born here, either
Me: must be the climate
No...just...no. At least I got a good laugh out of it :)