(no subject)
okay... so sometimes i just can't shake what happened... So like i love my friends here to death dont get me wrong, they are amazing and i know they would never intentionally hurt me, but if you think about it with my old friends i was pretty much mentally abused for 13 years and it's hard to move away from that. I mean i was told how to think for 13 years, how to act, and how to be me... and being at college i have learned who i am... I have been able to break away from the fear of being hurt again. But it's so hard... Sometimes my friends here say things and it sets me off again.. and i just hide... i mean i can't help it, and I'm getting better...
and i realized something about me... I put multiple layers on with hoods when i know im going to feel really uncomfortable, or if there is a chance that i iwill feel uncomfrotable because then when i am uncomfrotable i just put the hoods up, and as i start to feel more comfortable i start to pull off one layer at a time.. letting myself be visable agian.
Im crazy and i know it... but its me.. deal with it.
and i realized something about me... I put multiple layers on with hoods when i know im going to feel really uncomfortable, or if there is a chance that i iwill feel uncomfrotable because then when i am uncomfrotable i just put the hoods up, and as i start to feel more comfortable i start to pull off one layer at a time.. letting myself be visable agian.
Im crazy and i know it... but its me.. deal with it.