Well, I think I'm finally calm enough to talk about this some...

[tessa_kun_chan]

I've been holding off on posting about this for a couple days, as my emotions were still high, and I didn't want to type something I would probably regret later

Comments

[faewren]

Just so people don't get the wrong impression of me, since I am the wife involved in this, I am no villain. Nor am I a victim. There are no victims or villains in this tale.

We are people, working through difficult times. And no matter what my love is going through, he is my love, my soul mate, and my beloved. And if this thing ends in divorce, which tears my heart to contemplate, I just want everyone to know that I won't go looking for another to replace him. The ring I wear will not leave my finger, and my heart will remain true to him for my whole life.

If I have to be a single mother, so be it. I found where my heart lies. And there it will stay. I have no room in my heart for another.

My only problems are the fact that I am deeply religious, and not homosexual in any way, shape, or form. My religion is tied to my identity. I believe in my Church, and its teachings. I find men to be attractive.

Now I have other thoughts and theories on GD. I won't go into them here. And I do believe that it exists.

But I could not stand by and be called a 'controlling wife in denial'.

I have never sought, nor do I wish, to be controlling in my marriage. My husband came to me and told me how he felt about being a woman inside. After many hours/days of thinking I finally had to tell him that I could not be with another woman, since I am a very straight arrow sexually. And that to me, my husband is a man, right down to how he smells naturally.

Nor am I in denial. I have tried to put myself in my husband's shoes. How would I be feeling if I were a man trapped in a woman's body? How would I think and feel if I wished to be perceived as a man and couldn't because of my physical form?

I want to save my marriage. I want to remain with my beloved. If there is a way to do it, I want to find it. I am not giving up.

I am sorry if I have stepped on people's toes here, but I can not stand by and be spoken of in a disrespectful manner. I will defend myself.