DESE'RAE STAGE PLAYS MAGIC THE GATHERING I SAW HER
I thought I should update this since I haven't updated it in a week. So here it is. Last night was First Friday, which is where every trendy wannabe in Johnson City goes downtown to the art galleries and the coffeeshop and the clubs and walks around in their favorite outfit with their hair done. That being said, I had a great time. AND Des showed her photography in Laura's gallery and people seemed to really like it. I love it.
Later that night, while my girlfriend and Patrick were PLAYING MAGIC THE GATHERING (I'm telling everyone), I wandered outside and ran into Megan who I used to have a Spanish class with and she took me to a keg party that was going on behind the coffeehouse. She and her girlfriend and some other people and the guy who owns the acoustic coffeehouse were playing bluegrass music. She gave me some beer that was called Oatmeal Stout (and it tasted just as filthy as it sounds) and then Jim, the guy who owns the coffeehouse, his dog ate a bunch of oyster shells and drank some beer and passed out on the porch.
Then I went to the building next door to the coffeehouse and Des was there with Becky watching some bands play and we ran into Todd, the creepy industrial guy who makes bread at the Olive Garden and refers to himself as third from the left on the evolutionary chart, which is strikingly accurate, I have to say. Todd is in this really horrible noisecore band called The Growth but which should probably be called The Shitty Generic Industrial I Sampled My Air Conditioner Quartet. He told me that when Des goes out of town for Thanksgiving, if I ever need anyone to come over and cuddle with me, that he would tuck his penis between his legs and be there for me. And then he said that he wouldn't be able to help himself if he got a hard-on so I told him to duct tape it down and he said he would probably bust through the duct tape because he's UNSTOPPABLE. He was like, "I have to pave my shit down and even THEN I BUST THROUGH." Then he told me about his solo project called Dildo Hammerstein and asked if I would be one of his back-up Vaginanuses. I don't know what that is but I said yes. And also volunteered Crystal. I guess none of this is funny unless you know Todd.
Then Crystal came to the coffeehouse and I went and played Scrabble with Crystal, Patrick and Becky. I BEAT ASS. Thought you should know. And then some guy who I think might have been dead hit on Des and gave her his number. Hahaha. He was with a girl who was very short and had her hair in meatballs and looked like she was wearing a nun's habit. I'm not positive, but I think she may have been a gremlin.
We worked tonight. I got stuck in the motherfucking cafe but I made $70, which is pretty decent for the cafe. We work again tomorrow. I'm thinking about picking up Jackie's shift on Monday morning because we really need money and she has no one to watch her baby, but I hate getting up with the living.
Later that night, while my girlfriend and Patrick were PLAYING MAGIC THE GATHERING (I'm telling everyone), I wandered outside and ran into Megan who I used to have a Spanish class with and she took me to a keg party that was going on behind the coffeehouse. She and her girlfriend and some other people and the guy who owns the acoustic coffeehouse were playing bluegrass music. She gave me some beer that was called Oatmeal Stout (and it tasted just as filthy as it sounds) and then Jim, the guy who owns the coffeehouse, his dog ate a bunch of oyster shells and drank some beer and passed out on the porch.
Then I went to the building next door to the coffeehouse and Des was there with Becky watching some bands play and we ran into Todd, the creepy industrial guy who makes bread at the Olive Garden and refers to himself as third from the left on the evolutionary chart, which is strikingly accurate, I have to say. Todd is in this really horrible noisecore band called The Growth but which should probably be called The Shitty Generic Industrial I Sampled My Air Conditioner Quartet. He told me that when Des goes out of town for Thanksgiving, if I ever need anyone to come over and cuddle with me, that he would tuck his penis between his legs and be there for me. And then he said that he wouldn't be able to help himself if he got a hard-on so I told him to duct tape it down and he said he would probably bust through the duct tape because he's UNSTOPPABLE. He was like, "I have to pave my shit down and even THEN I BUST THROUGH." Then he told me about his solo project called Dildo Hammerstein and asked if I would be one of his back-up Vaginanuses. I don't know what that is but I said yes. And also volunteered Crystal. I guess none of this is funny unless you know Todd.
Then Crystal came to the coffeehouse and I went and played Scrabble with Crystal, Patrick and Becky. I BEAT ASS. Thought you should know. And then some guy who I think might have been dead hit on Des and gave her his number. Hahaha. He was with a girl who was very short and had her hair in meatballs and looked like she was wearing a nun's habit. I'm not positive, but I think she may have been a gremlin.
We worked tonight. I got stuck in the motherfucking cafe but I made $70, which is pretty decent for the cafe. We work again tomorrow. I'm thinking about picking up Jackie's shift on Monday morning because we really need money and she has no one to watch her baby, but I hate getting up with the living.