to sign or to burn..... that is the question

[terradash]

I got copies of our final divorce papers tonight.  I've been dreading this day for 7 months and now that it's here, it's just as horrible as I thought it was going to be.  I'm about 50/50 on whether I should sign them or burn them - I could always sign "I never gave up on us" or "I never stopped loving you" or what about "I forgave you the day you

Comments

[anonymous]

Oh, Terra...I wish I could have been there with you when you faced those papers. I wish we had our single, cement dorm room walls to sit and talk together again. I wish we had a way to see into the future...months, years, however long ...just to know a little more. You and I are so alike...we cry for all the same reasons! :)

Reading your post, I have to say that my heart has to believe that strength comes from being honest with yourself and others. It's not always being able to hold it together, or always being with someone else, or feeling a certain emotion at a certain time. Lately, I have found the biggest strengths and certainty in myself from the things I've taught myself, from the challenges I've faced, and the times I've just sat and cried.

Within the past few months at work, I've lost 4 great
Co-worker friends to their leaving the branch for various reasons, I've been told I'm "not a qualified applicant" for a change of positions (promotion) because of an arbitrary time phrase they've set for being in your current position.  Nevermind the fact that I've worked so hard for that company and have covered for everyone else leaving during the past 6 months.  No, it's not the same kind of pain or frustrations...but strength comes in letting yourself realize that some things do fail you, and some people fail you... That through it all, looking for the honest truth in yourself...even if that's the only person who knows it...and doing what you can with what you have makes you stronger. Your strength lies in that little girl who runs to you, and hugs you so hard, and wants to be just like you someday.  Your daughter is so lucky to have a mother who cares for and loves her like you do, who works hard for her, who is teaching her right from wrong through all this - even if no certain words are spoken. 
Let yourself be frustrated, cry, and be upset. But also let yourself feel confidence in facing this instead of running the other direction. It's hard...no doubt about that. I know there is a strength there, even if tears do fall. Challenges will come and go, but there is a light coming soon! I love you, terra! Miss you...we need to find a chance to get together!!! 
val