Reflections
Three weekend (48 hour) trips in 5 weeks and it has been a hoot! Austin, New Orleans, and Kansas City trips are all complete. There was SO MUCH music and love and laughter. I told my friend Tracy this weekend that all of these trips are helping mend my soul. I looked in the mirror yesterday and thought to myself "I like this woman, she's a good person." That is not something I have thought about myself at all in the years following care giving for my father up to his death 6 years ago. The reason for the change in my outlook you ask? FRIENDS.
Feeling wanted and missed and loved are all things I lost sight of over the past few years. Living alone has a lot to do with it, but I have also thrown myself into school and avoided social interactions, choosing to think that no one will care if I'm there or not. At one point a couple of years ago, I was even upset with my friends for being my friends because they couldn't see what a shitty person I felt like I was. How fucked in the head is that logic?
It's nice to have moved past those dark times and back into the light. Traveling to see old friends and reconnecting with some who I hadn't seen in almost 15 years has been exactly what I needed to adjust my attitude and outlook.
Feeling wanted and missed and loved are all things I lost sight of over the past few years. Living alone has a lot to do with it, but I have also thrown myself into school and avoided social interactions, choosing to think that no one will care if I'm there or not. At one point a couple of years ago, I was even upset with my friends for being my friends because they couldn't see what a shitty person I felt like I was. How fucked in the head is that logic?
It's nice to have moved past those dark times and back into the light. Traveling to see old friends and reconnecting with some who I hadn't seen in almost 15 years has been exactly what I needed to adjust my attitude and outlook.