(no subject)
It came over me about an hour ago. I thought this intensity was in the past, it's been so long. Was it the romantic period piece, the allergy meds, perhaps it was Peter Jennings voice from that day five years ago when we sat and tried to comprehend the madness. All I know is it came on quick and once upon me, I couldn't shake it. I still can't. I sympathised with Benson earlier today about needing a crying jag to release some of these emotions, but I couldn't seem to muster it. Well, here it is. It's been four and a half years and I would sell my soul in a heartbeat for an hour of conversation, a touch, a look, no wait, a day perhaps, just a little more time. Why couldn't we have a little more time to figure this out, to not have it hurt so much. Why does it still hurt so much?
EDIT: I made good on a promise I made to myself over four years ago. Granted it wasn't my actual mother who wrapped me in her arms and let me cry until I couldn't cry anymore, but it was my surrogate mom who I have loved with all of my heart since I was five years old. She was waiting outside of her house the moment I walked up and she just engulfed me. It was too long coming and it was much needed. I feel a little lighter and very loved.
EDIT: I made good on a promise I made to myself over four years ago. Granted it wasn't my actual mother who wrapped me in her arms and let me cry until I couldn't cry anymore, but it was my surrogate mom who I have loved with all of my heart since I was five years old. She was waiting outside of her house the moment I walked up and she just engulfed me. It was too long coming and it was much needed. I feel a little lighter and very loved.