So I'm sitting here in a university lounge populated by me, some girl and an Asperger's kid with facio-cranial deformities who eats his own boogers, and I'm trying to recollect what brilliant idea I had going through my mind so I could write it down in my secret gay diary, I mean...Livejournal. It's depressing when a funny idea escapes me, so to ( Read more... )

Abstinence or sex ed? Instead of one or the other, I think we should ditch both and just teach kids sodomy. That way, they can get out their sexual urges while remaining technically virgins, but also, not get themselves pregnant. Liberals and conservatives would both be satisfied.

Jim and Tammy Bakker Present The Ministries of Heritage Village Church

Boulton Publishing Services Inc. (1986)

Coffee table books are the most common way the Devil ensnares people. Seemingly innocuous, they have been known to impel individuals into committing such acts as accounting fraud, adultery, wearing excessive makeup and dying ( Read more... )

Perhaps the biggest impediment to improving relations with foreigners is our mutually limited understanding of each other's languages. You take 4 years of college Spanish to become proficient in expressing things at their essence, but tactfulness takes longer to develop. Making sense in another language requires more than just understanding ( Read more... )

I am writing  today to clarify a rumour spread to females by certain friends regarding me beating up construction workers. People ask me about it all the time, and I can assure you, the wild stories are complete hyperbole. I'm not proud of what I did, but it is time I put this nonsense to rest for good. Here is how it actually went ( Read more... )

Yesterday, I hooked up with a girl at a party. It was at my family reunion. Yes, I know that burning question you are going to ask to put your minds at ease: "is she hot?" Oh yeah.

Who really cares about the photos of yourself drinking, smoking, or flipping the bird to the camera while on your stupid study abroad trip to Paris? It's no mystery what everybody does on the weekends, and the photo albums you dedicate to documenting your unoriginal exploits are starting to bore me to tears. Show us interesting things, even if it ( Read more... )

Each month, master film critic Keith Kozelka hand selects a film he feels worthy of inclusion in the cannon of American filmmaking. For this month of June, Keith is happy to present you with his pick and subject of discussion:

Hard Men At Work (1983) Ari ( Read more... )

My new obsession is staying up 'till 5am watching wannabe guitar shredders on YouTube. I can't believe how many of them there, and alot of them are pretty bad. They've always been around, but YouTube is encouraging the proliferation of these dipshits. Everytime I walk into a guitar center, its always some wanker trying to play some fast licks ( Read more... )

Going against everything my instincts tell me, is when I get ripped off for $100 from some punk in Nevada. I am madly in love with an art school girl already taken by somebody way better than me. I got drunk with my bisexual roommate. He's pretty cool. I'm going to sleep now.  Good night.,