Life is a swift kick In the balls...or a thousand of them
What a metaphor. It's perfect for my college life. Andrea and I were talking about it today...In the engineering school, (& all of my hard shitta physics/astro/calc classes) we just fail test after test after test and somehow slide by. And for each and every one of those tests, we study our asses off, completely unrewarded, while easy major kiddies (i.e.- business & whatnot) pull 4.0s doing jack shitta in their free time. And after each test, there is a period of reflection/recovery during which we cry or putz around feeling worthless. We know we're not dumb, so we keep trying, but we keep getting kicked & kicked & kicked in the nuts, & all the while our friends & parents & teachers say, "hey, don't worry. You're fine. Stick with it." This might as well be "Get up you pussy, & let me kick you again." Sure as hell, each one hurts a little more.
Today my balls are black and blue. I studied all week & was only able to answer 1 question out of 3 on my modern physics test. Also, I just realized that I got part b of that question wrong because I forgot to divide it by 2. FUCK. 50 minutes is NOT enough time for a hard test -EVER. I was so mad afterward because I KNEW i could answer one of the other ones, i'd just fucked up & gotten lost in my eraser trails. So I went to the library & flat out completed it in 15 more minutes, part a-d. That question alone was 46/100 test points (10% of my total class grade). And I knew how to do it. Yet, what I turned in was only worth about 5 points because I cracked under the pressure. SO being the girl that I am, I wrote a nice letter to my professor explaining my situation/frustration, asking him if there was any way he could grade it instead of what I turned it. I know it's a long shot, but 10% of my total grade wasted on one problem I knew how to do just doesn't seem right.
He'll probably throw it away, but nothing is wasted because I can retain my peace of mind. I now tell myself there's nothing more I can do.
My professor seems like a hardass, but I noticed the other day that he always wears a plastic McDonald's toy watch with Fiona from Shrek on it, so this gives me hope that he will take mercy on me. Any of you church kids that care- seriously, pray.
P.S. It's good to be bitching & back.
Today my balls are black and blue. I studied all week & was only able to answer 1 question out of 3 on my modern physics test. Also, I just realized that I got part b of that question wrong because I forgot to divide it by 2. FUCK. 50 minutes is NOT enough time for a hard test -EVER. I was so mad afterward because I KNEW i could answer one of the other ones, i'd just fucked up & gotten lost in my eraser trails. So I went to the library & flat out completed it in 15 more minutes, part a-d. That question alone was 46/100 test points (10% of my total class grade). And I knew how to do it. Yet, what I turned in was only worth about 5 points because I cracked under the pressure. SO being the girl that I am, I wrote a nice letter to my professor explaining my situation/frustration, asking him if there was any way he could grade it instead of what I turned it. I know it's a long shot, but 10% of my total grade wasted on one problem I knew how to do just doesn't seem right.
He'll probably throw it away, but nothing is wasted because I can retain my peace of mind. I now tell myself there's nothing more I can do.
My professor seems like a hardass, but I noticed the other day that he always wears a plastic McDonald's toy watch with Fiona from Shrek on it, so this gives me hope that he will take mercy on me. Any of you church kids that care- seriously, pray.
P.S. It's good to be bitching & back.