The Hardest Thing
_________,
Hey, about hanging out, it seems everytime I try to call, you're not there, and I guess I'm just going to give up now. If you really wanted to hang out with me, then I'll leave it up to you, because I'm sick of how this is starting to become very clear. Why does it feel like our friendship is only one-sided?
I miss you, _________. I really do, and I want to see you, but if I wanted to be honest with you, I'd say, despite the fact that it doesn't feel like I have to the right to say this to you anymore... I'm disappointed in you. What are you doing, smoking pot? Doing drugs? Alcohol? I expected so much better from you, not this shit that it seems you've gotten yourself into.
You promised me, but then again, you promised me so much before, and what do promises really mean these days? Are they as hollow as I think they are?
I wish I could be more understanding, I really do. But I don't know where my limit is, and I'm not sure if I really want to find out. I'll never stop considering myself your friend, I know. I guess that's why it hurts so much. You're never there when I need you anymore, and I can never get anything right. It's been such a privilege. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me. I wouldn't even blame you if your friends will hate me for this. That's just it. They're /your/ friends, not mine, and they can come up with their own opinions about me, and I won't give a damn anymore. I've changed, _________. You have, too.
A long time ago, when we were still disillusioned and wrapped up in our own little fantasies, I made a promise to you that I'd never let you fall this far, so firm in the conviction that I could stop the rain from falling. I failed you, and I'll always remember that. I'm sorry I let you down.
Vicky
Hey, about hanging out, it seems everytime I try to call, you're not there, and I guess I'm just going to give up now. If you really wanted to hang out with me, then I'll leave it up to you, because I'm sick of how this is starting to become very clear. Why does it feel like our friendship is only one-sided?
I miss you, _________. I really do, and I want to see you, but if I wanted to be honest with you, I'd say, despite the fact that it doesn't feel like I have to the right to say this to you anymore... I'm disappointed in you. What are you doing, smoking pot? Doing drugs? Alcohol? I expected so much better from you, not this shit that it seems you've gotten yourself into.
You promised me, but then again, you promised me so much before, and what do promises really mean these days? Are they as hollow as I think they are?
I wish I could be more understanding, I really do. But I don't know where my limit is, and I'm not sure if I really want to find out. I'll never stop considering myself your friend, I know. I guess that's why it hurts so much. You're never there when I need you anymore, and I can never get anything right. It's been such a privilege. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me. I wouldn't even blame you if your friends will hate me for this. That's just it. They're /your/ friends, not mine, and they can come up with their own opinions about me, and I won't give a damn anymore. I've changed, _________. You have, too.
A long time ago, when we were still disillusioned and wrapped up in our own little fantasies, I made a promise to you that I'd never let you fall this far, so firm in the conviction that I could stop the rain from falling. I failed you, and I'll always remember that. I'm sorry I let you down.
Vicky