[Fanfic] Those Damn Kids! (5/?)
Title: Those Damn Kids!
Genre: Humor/General
Rating: PG 13
Characters/Pairings: AmericaxEngland
Warnings: Swearing
Summary: What do you do when you find a teenaged state cooking breakfast in your kitchen? England had no idea, he just hoped he wouldn't get shot by said state's overprotective father.
Those Damn Kids!
Chapter 5: Snowed In
...
As soon as he walked in the door of Iowa’s old farmhouse, England found himself surrounded by several states. He was a little surprised by the number of states present as he’d gotten the impression that it would be just America, Iowa, Minnesota, and himself with the other states occasionally dropping by.
“Hey guys!” Iowa greeted, pushing the crowd further inside the door. “Glad so many of you decided to show up. ‘Sota and Dad could use some help unloading the Suburban.”
England watched as the states rolled their eyes. “You went shopping again, didn’t you?” A light brown-haired boy asked. “I don’t know how you manage to fit all of it in this shack of yours.”
“I have a shed and a barn too, you know.” Iowa replied. “’Sides, when I do my spring cleaning, I usually end up selling a bunch of stuff on Craig’s List. As you should know, seeing as you bought a tractor from me last year.”
England noted that she didn’t reply to the shack comment, although he thought that it was a rather nice house. From what he had seen so far, it was a large two-story farmhouse, most likely over one hundred years old. He did notice that the entryway was reminiscent of Japan’s house. Vaguely, he recalled Iowa mentioning that one of her ‘sister states’ was one of Japan’s prefectures. Perhaps she had taken a liking to some of Japan’s architecture.
After they finished unloading the SUV, the states settled down in Iowa’s living room. England surveyed the assembled states and America from his position at the door. Sitting next to America on one of the couches was the state that had called Iowa’s house a shack and next to him was a girl who looked almost exactly like him. England noted with amusement that she was holding hands with the tall blond and blue-eyed Minnesotan. On the other couch was a reddish-brown haired teen with a mischievous grin. As England watched the boy tried to put his arm around the short golden-haired girl, who scowled and shoved him off. On the other side of the girl was a dark blond-haired boy who glared at the other teen.
“Ya gonna join us, England, or stand at the door all night?” America asked gesturing at a chair next to the couch he was on.
England shook his head and sat down in the indicated chair as America continued. “So, you’ve met Minnesota, but I don’t think you’ve met the rest.”
“I’m South Dakota Andy.” The brown-haired boy next to America volunteered, then gestured to the girl next to him, “This is my twin, North Dakota Mandy.” North Dakota gave him a timid smile and wave.
The reddish-brown haired boy grinned and continued the introductions. “Hey! I’m Missouri Jesse, though mosta the time folks just call me ‘Souri.”
“I’m Nebraska Josiah.” The blond boy continued, “Nice ta meet ya.”
The pretty blond girl smiled and said “My name is Kansas Elisabeth.”
England nodded, “It’s nice to meet all of you. Thank you for inviting me.”
Nebraska laughed, “Don’t get us wrong, pestering Dad into letting you visit was Iowa’s idea.” England blinked in surprise. Was Iowa the only one who had wanted to see him? The happy feelings that had been raging within him since America’s half-arsed invitation a month ago started to diminish. “Anyway, I’m starved. What’re we doin’ for dinner?” Nebraska continued as though he hadn’t just crushed England’s cheerful spirit.
“We should go out to eat.” Missouri commented. “How ‘bout Outback?”
The other states groaned. “We went there for lunch, you ‘tard!” South Dakota snarked. “We should go to IHOP.”
“Their pancakes aren’t as good as Uncle Matt’s.” Nebraska countered. “We should go to Culver’s.”
Everyone in the living room save England and America turned and glared at him. “We’re talking about slow food restaurants, not fast food.” South Dakota said pointedly.
“Culver’s is slow food!” Nebraska returned defensively. “They bring your food to you.”
“It’s slow fast food then.” Iowa’s voice came from the doorway. “Why are we discussing eating out?” She looked more than a bit irritated, which England could understand seeing as they (Iowa and England) had just finished putting supper in the oven.
“Well, we’re hungry.” Missouri said, shrugging.
Iowa gave him a bemused look and said, “Well, that’s good, considering supper will be done in about fifteen minutes.”
“What did you make?” Kansas asked suspiciously, the other states looked similarly nervous. England supposed they had been victims of her experiments before.
“Oh, just a casserole.” Iowa said calmly. “England helped me make it.” She added with a smirk. Personally, England wasn’t sure if opening cans of soup and bags of frozen vegetables counted as helping per say. However, he was looking forward to America being forced to admit that it didn’t taste bad.
America blanched, “You let England help you in the kitchen?!” England glared at his former colony. He wasn’t that bad! “Wait, when did you make supper?” America asked.
“When do you think? We made supper while you guys were unloading the SUV.” Iowa replied. She rolled her eyes at America’s disbelieving look. “C’mon, d’you really think I was gonna let you guys starve?”
“No.” America muttered, pouting. “I just thought you wouldn’t try to poison us is all.”
...
They spent the evening watching various films, mostly action as all of the states had voted down horror (America’s favourite) because North Dakota didn’t handle horror very well. (Actually, they didn’t want to listen to America’s shrieks throughout the film and the rest of the night as well.) England noted that the states, including North Dakota, favoured the films with the most gore and blood. According to Missouri and Iowa, the higher the rating, the better the film (or movie as they called it) was bound to be. As midnight approached, Iowa declared it time for bed. She then informed her sisters that, instead of staying in their usual room, they would be sleeping in her room.
“So I take it Iggy an’ me are getting that room.” America asked; a bemused expression on his face.
“Yup.” Iowa agreed. “Sorry, Iggy. I only have four bedrooms, so you and Dad have to share.” She paused and continued, “Unless you’d like to share with one of the other guys.” Then she grinned and added impishly, “Or one of the girls.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively as she said so. England felt his eyes widen in shock.
“Hell no!” America shouted, glaring at England as though daring him to contradict him.
England swallowed nervously, “Er, I think I’ll share with America.” At this rate America would end up shooting him before this visit was over. And considering he was supposed to stay until New Years… “After all,” he continued, “we used to share a bed when you were a little colony.” He watched in satisfaction as America’s face turned pink. Certainly America (and the states) wouldn’t be able to construe anything untoward from that.
“Well,” Iowa said, clapping her hands together. “That settles that. Night all!”
“Night!” All the states chorused as they went to their respective rooms. England figured they must visit each other fairly often if they had rooms that were virtually assigned for their use.
...
When England woke up the next morning, he was alone in the spacious queen bed. He glanced around the room blearily, trying to determine what had woken him. So it was not entirely surprising that he jumped at the sound of an engine revving loudly. It ran for perhaps a moment before stuttering to a stop. Glancing at the clock, England was very disgruntled to discover that it was only 6:45 in the morning. Rolling over, he attempted to go back asleep only for the annoying roar to begin again. This happened two more times before England finally decided to give up on getting any more sleep. Upon reaching the kitchen, England found America slouched over a cup of coffee and Kansas at the stove, making bacon and eggs from the looks of it. “Coffee?” Kansas asked, gesturing to a mug sitting innocently on the kitchen table.
“Ah, no thank you.” England managed, even as America smirked at him. “I don’t suppose you have any tea?”
“Um, let’s see.” Kansas began rummaging around the cupboards. “Looks like there’s lemon, black raspberry, and chai. Wait! Here’s some bubble tea. Which would you like?” Kansas asked cheerfully, as though such a pitiful selection were normal.
America snickered into his coffee as England reluctantly chose the chai tea. He supposed it was better than nothing. He started as the engine roared to life again, and died, again. “What are they doing?” England asked, trying not to sound as annoyed as he really was. From the smug look on America’s face, he wasn’t very successful.
“Trying to get the tractor started.” Kansas replied, not sounding at all offended by England’s tone. “For some reason, Iowa decided to put the front loader on an old gas tractor. So, of course, they’re having problems with getting it started.” She shook her head. “I told her she should make sure it would start first.”
“Ah,” England hesitated, “Why do you need to use it?” At this hour, he added privetly.
America looked at him in disbelief, “It snowed all last night and is still snowing.”
Kansas rolled her eyes. “Iowa’s boarding horses. She has to get to the barn to get them out.”
“Oh.” England said, a little curious as to why Iowa was boarding horses, but decided against asking. It was probably to help out in finances anyway.
Abruptly, the back door opened and the states wearily filed into the kitchen, each grabbing a mug and heading for the coffee machine. “What’s the verdict?” Kansas asked, apparently amused as the siblings fought over the coffee pot.
South Dakota shook his head, “There’s no helping it. We’re gonna hafta go in town and get some parts.” He deftly plucked the pot from North Dakota’s hands and began pouring himself some coffee, oblivious to Minnesota’s glare. “You got any parts stores around here?”
Iowa sand into the seat next to England, having been the first to get her coffee. “Yeah, hopefully TSC’ll have it, otherwise we’ll have to head over to a dealer.” She paused to gulp down some of the black liquid. “Which reminds me, I need to get more pellets and bedding anyway.”
“Should we take the semi?” Missouri asked.
Nebraska snorted and shot him a dry look. “You wanna try and get the shed door open? Can’t we just take a couple a trucks?”
Iowa shrugged, “Sure, d’you bring yours?” At Nebraska’s nod, Iowa continued. “If we take your truck and mine we should be able to get all the stuff we need. We should all be able to squeeze in.”
“Um, I don’t need to go.” North Dakota offered tentatively.
“You sure?” Minnesota asked, frowning.
“We should probably stock up on food and pop while we’re in town too.” Kansas added. “The news said that it’s supposed to be really bad over the next few days.”
America looked at Iowa, “Could we stop at Starbucks?” His large blue eyes stared at her pleadingly. England was surprised he wasn’t asking to go to McDonald’s, but then, he supposed that might be a given.
The states all gave their father irritated looks. “Starbucks is expensive and we’re in the middle of a recession.” South Dakota said. “Michigan can’t afford to bury his dead and you want to go to freakin’ Starbucks?!” England started at that. Was the recession really that bad? Sure he was having financial problems, but nowhere near as bad as that!
“Cool it, Andy.” Nebraska ordered. “Do you really need to go to Starbucks or will gas station coffee do?”
America gave a sheepish grin and replied, “No, the gas station’s fine.”
Iowa rolled her eyes. “Whatever, we ready to go or what? I gotta get that carburator ‘fore I can do anything.”
At everyone’s agreement, England noted that America was being unusually meek, they all piled into Nebraska and Iowa’s trucks and headed into town. England found himself hoping that things would go at least a little smoother for the rest of the visit.
...
A.N. Sorry it took me so long to upload, I've been hitting some brick walls inspiration-wise and it's taking a bit of work to tear them down.
Chapter 4
Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 1
Genre: Humor/General
Rating: PG 13
Characters/Pairings: AmericaxEngland
Warnings: Swearing
Summary: What do you do when you find a teenaged state cooking breakfast in your kitchen? England had no idea, he just hoped he wouldn't get shot by said state's overprotective father.
Those Damn Kids!
Chapter 5: Snowed In
...
As soon as he walked in the door of Iowa’s old farmhouse, England found himself surrounded by several states. He was a little surprised by the number of states present as he’d gotten the impression that it would be just America, Iowa, Minnesota, and himself with the other states occasionally dropping by.
“Hey guys!” Iowa greeted, pushing the crowd further inside the door. “Glad so many of you decided to show up. ‘Sota and Dad could use some help unloading the Suburban.”
England watched as the states rolled their eyes. “You went shopping again, didn’t you?” A light brown-haired boy asked. “I don’t know how you manage to fit all of it in this shack of yours.”
“I have a shed and a barn too, you know.” Iowa replied. “’Sides, when I do my spring cleaning, I usually end up selling a bunch of stuff on Craig’s List. As you should know, seeing as you bought a tractor from me last year.”
England noted that she didn’t reply to the shack comment, although he thought that it was a rather nice house. From what he had seen so far, it was a large two-story farmhouse, most likely over one hundred years old. He did notice that the entryway was reminiscent of Japan’s house. Vaguely, he recalled Iowa mentioning that one of her ‘sister states’ was one of Japan’s prefectures. Perhaps she had taken a liking to some of Japan’s architecture.
After they finished unloading the SUV, the states settled down in Iowa’s living room. England surveyed the assembled states and America from his position at the door. Sitting next to America on one of the couches was the state that had called Iowa’s house a shack and next to him was a girl who looked almost exactly like him. England noted with amusement that she was holding hands with the tall blond and blue-eyed Minnesotan. On the other couch was a reddish-brown haired teen with a mischievous grin. As England watched the boy tried to put his arm around the short golden-haired girl, who scowled and shoved him off. On the other side of the girl was a dark blond-haired boy who glared at the other teen.
“Ya gonna join us, England, or stand at the door all night?” America asked gesturing at a chair next to the couch he was on.
England shook his head and sat down in the indicated chair as America continued. “So, you’ve met Minnesota, but I don’t think you’ve met the rest.”
“I’m South Dakota Andy.” The brown-haired boy next to America volunteered, then gestured to the girl next to him, “This is my twin, North Dakota Mandy.” North Dakota gave him a timid smile and wave.
The reddish-brown haired boy grinned and continued the introductions. “Hey! I’m Missouri Jesse, though mosta the time folks just call me ‘Souri.”
“I’m Nebraska Josiah.” The blond boy continued, “Nice ta meet ya.”
The pretty blond girl smiled and said “My name is Kansas Elisabeth.”
England nodded, “It’s nice to meet all of you. Thank you for inviting me.”
Nebraska laughed, “Don’t get us wrong, pestering Dad into letting you visit was Iowa’s idea.” England blinked in surprise. Was Iowa the only one who had wanted to see him? The happy feelings that had been raging within him since America’s half-arsed invitation a month ago started to diminish. “Anyway, I’m starved. What’re we doin’ for dinner?” Nebraska continued as though he hadn’t just crushed England’s cheerful spirit.
“We should go out to eat.” Missouri commented. “How ‘bout Outback?”
The other states groaned. “We went there for lunch, you ‘tard!” South Dakota snarked. “We should go to IHOP.”
“Their pancakes aren’t as good as Uncle Matt’s.” Nebraska countered. “We should go to Culver’s.”
Everyone in the living room save England and America turned and glared at him. “We’re talking about slow food restaurants, not fast food.” South Dakota said pointedly.
“Culver’s is slow food!” Nebraska returned defensively. “They bring your food to you.”
“It’s slow fast food then.” Iowa’s voice came from the doorway. “Why are we discussing eating out?” She looked more than a bit irritated, which England could understand seeing as they (Iowa and England) had just finished putting supper in the oven.
“Well, we’re hungry.” Missouri said, shrugging.
Iowa gave him a bemused look and said, “Well, that’s good, considering supper will be done in about fifteen minutes.”
“What did you make?” Kansas asked suspiciously, the other states looked similarly nervous. England supposed they had been victims of her experiments before.
“Oh, just a casserole.” Iowa said calmly. “England helped me make it.” She added with a smirk. Personally, England wasn’t sure if opening cans of soup and bags of frozen vegetables counted as helping per say. However, he was looking forward to America being forced to admit that it didn’t taste bad.
America blanched, “You let England help you in the kitchen?!” England glared at his former colony. He wasn’t that bad! “Wait, when did you make supper?” America asked.
“When do you think? We made supper while you guys were unloading the SUV.” Iowa replied. She rolled her eyes at America’s disbelieving look. “C’mon, d’you really think I was gonna let you guys starve?”
“No.” America muttered, pouting. “I just thought you wouldn’t try to poison us is all.”
...
They spent the evening watching various films, mostly action as all of the states had voted down horror (America’s favourite) because North Dakota didn’t handle horror very well. (Actually, they didn’t want to listen to America’s shrieks throughout the film and the rest of the night as well.) England noted that the states, including North Dakota, favoured the films with the most gore and blood. According to Missouri and Iowa, the higher the rating, the better the film (or movie as they called it) was bound to be. As midnight approached, Iowa declared it time for bed. She then informed her sisters that, instead of staying in their usual room, they would be sleeping in her room.
“So I take it Iggy an’ me are getting that room.” America asked; a bemused expression on his face.
“Yup.” Iowa agreed. “Sorry, Iggy. I only have four bedrooms, so you and Dad have to share.” She paused and continued, “Unless you’d like to share with one of the other guys.” Then she grinned and added impishly, “Or one of the girls.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively as she said so. England felt his eyes widen in shock.
“Hell no!” America shouted, glaring at England as though daring him to contradict him.
England swallowed nervously, “Er, I think I’ll share with America.” At this rate America would end up shooting him before this visit was over. And considering he was supposed to stay until New Years… “After all,” he continued, “we used to share a bed when you were a little colony.” He watched in satisfaction as America’s face turned pink. Certainly America (and the states) wouldn’t be able to construe anything untoward from that.
“Well,” Iowa said, clapping her hands together. “That settles that. Night all!”
“Night!” All the states chorused as they went to their respective rooms. England figured they must visit each other fairly often if they had rooms that were virtually assigned for their use.
...
When England woke up the next morning, he was alone in the spacious queen bed. He glanced around the room blearily, trying to determine what had woken him. So it was not entirely surprising that he jumped at the sound of an engine revving loudly. It ran for perhaps a moment before stuttering to a stop. Glancing at the clock, England was very disgruntled to discover that it was only 6:45 in the morning. Rolling over, he attempted to go back asleep only for the annoying roar to begin again. This happened two more times before England finally decided to give up on getting any more sleep. Upon reaching the kitchen, England found America slouched over a cup of coffee and Kansas at the stove, making bacon and eggs from the looks of it. “Coffee?” Kansas asked, gesturing to a mug sitting innocently on the kitchen table.
“Ah, no thank you.” England managed, even as America smirked at him. “I don’t suppose you have any tea?”
“Um, let’s see.” Kansas began rummaging around the cupboards. “Looks like there’s lemon, black raspberry, and chai. Wait! Here’s some bubble tea. Which would you like?” Kansas asked cheerfully, as though such a pitiful selection were normal.
America snickered into his coffee as England reluctantly chose the chai tea. He supposed it was better than nothing. He started as the engine roared to life again, and died, again. “What are they doing?” England asked, trying not to sound as annoyed as he really was. From the smug look on America’s face, he wasn’t very successful.
“Trying to get the tractor started.” Kansas replied, not sounding at all offended by England’s tone. “For some reason, Iowa decided to put the front loader on an old gas tractor. So, of course, they’re having problems with getting it started.” She shook her head. “I told her she should make sure it would start first.”
“Ah,” England hesitated, “Why do you need to use it?” At this hour, he added privetly.
America looked at him in disbelief, “It snowed all last night and is still snowing.”
Kansas rolled her eyes. “Iowa’s boarding horses. She has to get to the barn to get them out.”
“Oh.” England said, a little curious as to why Iowa was boarding horses, but decided against asking. It was probably to help out in finances anyway.
Abruptly, the back door opened and the states wearily filed into the kitchen, each grabbing a mug and heading for the coffee machine. “What’s the verdict?” Kansas asked, apparently amused as the siblings fought over the coffee pot.
South Dakota shook his head, “There’s no helping it. We’re gonna hafta go in town and get some parts.” He deftly plucked the pot from North Dakota’s hands and began pouring himself some coffee, oblivious to Minnesota’s glare. “You got any parts stores around here?”
Iowa sand into the seat next to England, having been the first to get her coffee. “Yeah, hopefully TSC’ll have it, otherwise we’ll have to head over to a dealer.” She paused to gulp down some of the black liquid. “Which reminds me, I need to get more pellets and bedding anyway.”
“Should we take the semi?” Missouri asked.
Nebraska snorted and shot him a dry look. “You wanna try and get the shed door open? Can’t we just take a couple a trucks?”
Iowa shrugged, “Sure, d’you bring yours?” At Nebraska’s nod, Iowa continued. “If we take your truck and mine we should be able to get all the stuff we need. We should all be able to squeeze in.”
“Um, I don’t need to go.” North Dakota offered tentatively.
“You sure?” Minnesota asked, frowning.
“We should probably stock up on food and pop while we’re in town too.” Kansas added. “The news said that it’s supposed to be really bad over the next few days.”
America looked at Iowa, “Could we stop at Starbucks?” His large blue eyes stared at her pleadingly. England was surprised he wasn’t asking to go to McDonald’s, but then, he supposed that might be a given.
The states all gave their father irritated looks. “Starbucks is expensive and we’re in the middle of a recession.” South Dakota said. “Michigan can’t afford to bury his dead and you want to go to freakin’ Starbucks?!” England started at that. Was the recession really that bad? Sure he was having financial problems, but nowhere near as bad as that!
“Cool it, Andy.” Nebraska ordered. “Do you really need to go to Starbucks or will gas station coffee do?”
America gave a sheepish grin and replied, “No, the gas station’s fine.”
Iowa rolled her eyes. “Whatever, we ready to go or what? I gotta get that carburator ‘fore I can do anything.”
At everyone’s agreement, England noted that America was being unusually meek, they all piled into Nebraska and Iowa’s trucks and headed into town. England found himself hoping that things would go at least a little smoother for the rest of the visit.
...
A.N. Sorry it took me so long to upload, I've been hitting some brick walls inspiration-wise and it's taking a bit of work to tear them down.
Chapter 4
Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 1