[Fanfic] Those Damn Kids! (4/?)
Title: Those Damn Kids!
Genre: Humor/General
Rating: PG 13
Characters/Pairings: AmericaxEngland
Warnings: Swearing
Summary: What do you do when you find a teenaged state cooking breakfast in your kitchen? England had no idea, he just hoped he wouldn't get shot by said state's overprotective father.
Those Damn Kids!
Chapter 4: If you annoy someone enough, they just might give in.
…
“You want to what?!” America roared into his cell. His tan face flushed red in fury.
“We want to invite Iggy to visit the Midwest.” Iowa said calmly. “My sibs want to meet him too and I figured you wouldn’t like us going to visit him en masse, so…” Put like that, her argument was almost reasonable.
“No.” America snapped. “No way. He kidnapped you! No way in hell am I giving him another chance to do it again.” It was like he’d thought; she’d come home and immediately sang the praises of England to everyone she met. America was sure England had planned it, the sneaky bastard.
“Aw, c’mon, Daddy!” Iowa whined. Apparently, she was not above begging. “I’ll love you forever and ever if you do!”
“Wha-what?” America sputtered. He knew it! He knew England would corrupt his little girl! Although if he were to be honest, Iowa was prone to theatrics like this; she thought it was funny. “No. England is not coming and that is final!”
“But Daddy!” Iowa cried. “You go to visit him all the time. Why can’t he come visit us?” It appeared to be time to pull out the parent’s ultimate weapon.
“Because I said so.” America said firmly, his tone not allowing for arguments. “Besides,” he added, “it isn’t the same at all.”
“Fine.” Iowa pouted and hung up without even saying good-bye.
...
England hurried down the hallway to answer the phone. “Hello?” He asked politely, even though he just wanted to yell at whoever thought it was a good idea to call this late at night. His query was met with silence, so he repeated, “Hello?”
“…I hate you.” America’s voice sounded quite sullen.
“You called me at eleven o’clock at night just to tell me this?” England demanded, more than a little exasperated. What on earth could the silly boy’s problem be this time? It had been a whole month since they had last spoke, and even then America had only said two words to him (“Fuck off”). England supposed that he should be angrier at the young nation, but, this late at night? He just couldn’t be bothered.
“It’s all your fault!” America burst out. “First you steal my daughter, poison her mind against me, and now the whole Midwest won’t freakin’ leave me alone!” England just blinked, more than a bit taken aback by this latest turn of events. Then America concluded his outburst with a rather subdued, “I hate you.”
“America, you aren’t making sense.” England said. “What do you mean the Midwest won’t leave you alone?” He figured it best not to get into an argument over the first two points, America wouldn’t believe him anyway.
When America didn’t immediately respond, England began to worry. “Thmwntootvsd…” America finally mumbled.
“…What?” England asked, “What the bloody hell was that supposed to mean?” His patience was about up with this nonsense.
America growled over the line before saying, “I said they want you to visit…”
England stated at the phone for a moment, perplexed. “So? Why is that such an ordeal?” He finally asked. “It’s not like I’ve never visited you before.” Really, what was the twat’s problem this time?
“I-it’s not- I mean-” America sputtered, and England found himself grinning as he recalled the last time America had floundered for words. America rarely let England see this side of him, and England couldn’t help but find it to be all too cute. “You’ve already tried to steal Iowa away from me!” America finally cried. “Like hell I’m gonna let you try to take any more of my babies away from me!”
“America,” England sighed, “It’s not as though they are babies anymore.” Perhaps England and America were more alike than England had previously thought. England too had failed to recognize America’s growth until it had been too late. He only hoped that America would be able to avoid the same mistake. “They are young adults and fully capable of deciding things on their own. They don’t require as much pampering as you think they do.”
“Sh-shut up!” America protested. “I know full well how old they are. It-it’s just…” He trailed off hesitantly.
“America,” England said gently, “Why exactly did you ring me up?”
“The Midwest want to you visit.” America said quietly. “So? Do you want to come? Cuz I can tell them you said no…”
“You don’t mind if I come to visit?” England asked, surprised. With the way America had been carrying on, England thought for sure that he was dead set against it. Not to mention, America, in the past, had always tried to limit his contact with the states.
“Not-not really.” America sounded as though he were forcing himself to sound casual. Of course, the boy couldn’t act to save his life, so he ended up sounding even tenser than before. “I mean, I’ll be there the whole time, so don’t get any ideas about stealing them away or anything!”
Chuckling, England replied, “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Then he added softly, “They’re your children, America. They belong with you.” He had once tried to claim the colonies as his own. And they had been loyal to him for a bit, but when push came to shove, they would always choose America, because they were his.
“…Thanks, Iggy.” America said quietly. “Night.”
“Goodnight, America.” England returned before hanging up. It seemed he had a trip to plan, and he needed to find out just which states had requested his presence. It wouldn’t do to leave one out after all.
…
Minnesota waited patiently for England and America to disembark from the plane, his patience a marked difference from his sister, whom was practically bouncing in place. They were meeting them in Minneapolis instead of Des Moines because Iowa wanted to take England shopping at the Mall of America. “Arthur!” Iowa shouted and ran towards the startled nation as soon as he passed security.
Minnesota walked calmly towards them as Iowa engulfed England in a suffocating hug. “Hello Arthur, Dad.” He said politely, even as he watched America try to pry Iowa off England.
“Daniel, good to see you.” America returned; his normally easy-going smile slightly strained. “Rebecca! Would you let go of him before he suffocates?”
Much to Minnesota’s surprise, Iowa immediately let go of England. “Hi Dad!” She beamed as she latched onto America instead.
Chuckling at what Minnesota assumed was Iowa’s antics, England turned to Minnesota and offered his hand to him, saying, “It’s good to meet you, Daniel, was it?”
The lanky blonde smiled as he grasped England’s outstretched hand. “Yah, although we have met before.”
“Y-you have?!” America interjected. “When was this?”
Minnesota rolled his eyes. “War of 1812.” Then he added, “’Course, I was just a little bit then. And I didn’t ‘xactly go by Daniel either.”
America began, predictably, whining, “What? You’ve been tryin’ to take my babies away for that long?”
Iowa and Minnesota just shook their heads and started leading the two nations out of the airport. “Oh, c’mon Dad.” Iowa said. “To be fair, we hated everyone that wasn’t one of us. Heck, we even fought each other every chance we got.” She mused cheerfully, especially considering the subject matter. “Although, we probably hated France more than anyone else.”
America just looked confused. “Why did you hate France?”
Minnesota interjected before Iowa could launch into her France-hating speech. (Yes, it was a real, practiced speech.) “He may have owned our land according to all the nations, but he never had any control over us. So I’m sure you can understand why we were angry with him for selling our land, and our people, to a nation we wanted nothing to do with. Well, at the time, anyway.” Minnesota corrected himself before America could get worked up over it. “I’d say that we’re quite happy with the current arrangements, right?” He glanced at his sister hopefully.
“Hmm?” Iowa said absently, “Oh, yeah, sure.” She snatched England’s left arm excitedly, “I’m so glad you could make it, Iggy!” ‘Sota and I had lots of fun planning for your visit.” Minnesota sweatdropped, had she been paying attention at all? Then again, that was the best way to get America to drop a topic you didn’t want to talk about, simply pretend it didn’t matter.
Minnesota grumbled as he opened the door of his Suburban. “You mean you planned it.”
“Details, details.” Iowa said absently, waving her hand carelessly as she climbed into the van. “Iggy, sit next to me!”
“Right,” England laughed nervously as America began glaring at him again. “So where are we off to now?”
“The Mall of America, of course!” Iowa exclaimed. “You can’t come to the Twin Cities and not go to the Mall!”
America’s face turned white. “We’re going shopping?” He turned to Minnesota and asked, “How ‘bout we drop them off and go… um, somewhere else?” Minnesota fully understood what was going though his father’s mind. Of all the states, there were only four states that none of the rest would willingly go shopping with - California, Connecticut, New York, and Iowa. They each had their own quirks as far as what they would go shopping for, but the result was the same - a shopping trip from hell.
“Don’t you have enough shoes?” England asked. “You certainly bought more than enough in London.” Actually, based on what Iowa had brought back with her, Minnesota was sure that some of those stores wouldn’t have to worry about their rent for awhile.
“Iggy!” Iowa said reproachfully, “A girl can never have too many shoes. Besides, it’s fun to look at things even if you don’t want to buy them.”
“I don’t think you can fit any more shoes in your trunk, Iowa.” Minnesota said, “And remember, we have to fit all four of us in this SUV on the way to your house.” He glanced at his dad sympathetically, as much as he would love to escape, he had promised Iowa that he would help in her (evil) plan.
…
A.N. No offense to any French people, but I imagine all the states/tribes that were included in the Louisiana Purchase would be rather upset with France for being sold without so much as a by your leave.
Iowa’s shoe-shopping habit - Yes, her car is full of shoes. The trunk is full and she’s now filling the backseat, and that’s not even mentioning the shoes in her closet…
Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 1
Genre: Humor/General
Rating: PG 13
Characters/Pairings: AmericaxEngland
Warnings: Swearing
Summary: What do you do when you find a teenaged state cooking breakfast in your kitchen? England had no idea, he just hoped he wouldn't get shot by said state's overprotective father.
Those Damn Kids!
Chapter 4: If you annoy someone enough, they just might give in.
…
“You want to what?!” America roared into his cell. His tan face flushed red in fury.
“We want to invite Iggy to visit the Midwest.” Iowa said calmly. “My sibs want to meet him too and I figured you wouldn’t like us going to visit him en masse, so…” Put like that, her argument was almost reasonable.
“No.” America snapped. “No way. He kidnapped you! No way in hell am I giving him another chance to do it again.” It was like he’d thought; she’d come home and immediately sang the praises of England to everyone she met. America was sure England had planned it, the sneaky bastard.
“Aw, c’mon, Daddy!” Iowa whined. Apparently, she was not above begging. “I’ll love you forever and ever if you do!”
“Wha-what?” America sputtered. He knew it! He knew England would corrupt his little girl! Although if he were to be honest, Iowa was prone to theatrics like this; she thought it was funny. “No. England is not coming and that is final!”
“But Daddy!” Iowa cried. “You go to visit him all the time. Why can’t he come visit us?” It appeared to be time to pull out the parent’s ultimate weapon.
“Because I said so.” America said firmly, his tone not allowing for arguments. “Besides,” he added, “it isn’t the same at all.”
“Fine.” Iowa pouted and hung up without even saying good-bye.
...
England hurried down the hallway to answer the phone. “Hello?” He asked politely, even though he just wanted to yell at whoever thought it was a good idea to call this late at night. His query was met with silence, so he repeated, “Hello?”
“…I hate you.” America’s voice sounded quite sullen.
“You called me at eleven o’clock at night just to tell me this?” England demanded, more than a little exasperated. What on earth could the silly boy’s problem be this time? It had been a whole month since they had last spoke, and even then America had only said two words to him (“Fuck off”). England supposed that he should be angrier at the young nation, but, this late at night? He just couldn’t be bothered.
“It’s all your fault!” America burst out. “First you steal my daughter, poison her mind against me, and now the whole Midwest won’t freakin’ leave me alone!” England just blinked, more than a bit taken aback by this latest turn of events. Then America concluded his outburst with a rather subdued, “I hate you.”
“America, you aren’t making sense.” England said. “What do you mean the Midwest won’t leave you alone?” He figured it best not to get into an argument over the first two points, America wouldn’t believe him anyway.
When America didn’t immediately respond, England began to worry. “Thmwntootvsd…” America finally mumbled.
“…What?” England asked, “What the bloody hell was that supposed to mean?” His patience was about up with this nonsense.
America growled over the line before saying, “I said they want you to visit…”
England stated at the phone for a moment, perplexed. “So? Why is that such an ordeal?” He finally asked. “It’s not like I’ve never visited you before.” Really, what was the twat’s problem this time?
“I-it’s not- I mean-” America sputtered, and England found himself grinning as he recalled the last time America had floundered for words. America rarely let England see this side of him, and England couldn’t help but find it to be all too cute. “You’ve already tried to steal Iowa away from me!” America finally cried. “Like hell I’m gonna let you try to take any more of my babies away from me!”
“America,” England sighed, “It’s not as though they are babies anymore.” Perhaps England and America were more alike than England had previously thought. England too had failed to recognize America’s growth until it had been too late. He only hoped that America would be able to avoid the same mistake. “They are young adults and fully capable of deciding things on their own. They don’t require as much pampering as you think they do.”
“Sh-shut up!” America protested. “I know full well how old they are. It-it’s just…” He trailed off hesitantly.
“America,” England said gently, “Why exactly did you ring me up?”
“The Midwest want to you visit.” America said quietly. “So? Do you want to come? Cuz I can tell them you said no…”
“You don’t mind if I come to visit?” England asked, surprised. With the way America had been carrying on, England thought for sure that he was dead set against it. Not to mention, America, in the past, had always tried to limit his contact with the states.
“Not-not really.” America sounded as though he were forcing himself to sound casual. Of course, the boy couldn’t act to save his life, so he ended up sounding even tenser than before. “I mean, I’ll be there the whole time, so don’t get any ideas about stealing them away or anything!”
Chuckling, England replied, “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Then he added softly, “They’re your children, America. They belong with you.” He had once tried to claim the colonies as his own. And they had been loyal to him for a bit, but when push came to shove, they would always choose America, because they were his.
“…Thanks, Iggy.” America said quietly. “Night.”
“Goodnight, America.” England returned before hanging up. It seemed he had a trip to plan, and he needed to find out just which states had requested his presence. It wouldn’t do to leave one out after all.
…
Minnesota waited patiently for England and America to disembark from the plane, his patience a marked difference from his sister, whom was practically bouncing in place. They were meeting them in Minneapolis instead of Des Moines because Iowa wanted to take England shopping at the Mall of America. “Arthur!” Iowa shouted and ran towards the startled nation as soon as he passed security.
Minnesota walked calmly towards them as Iowa engulfed England in a suffocating hug. “Hello Arthur, Dad.” He said politely, even as he watched America try to pry Iowa off England.
“Daniel, good to see you.” America returned; his normally easy-going smile slightly strained. “Rebecca! Would you let go of him before he suffocates?”
Much to Minnesota’s surprise, Iowa immediately let go of England. “Hi Dad!” She beamed as she latched onto America instead.
Chuckling at what Minnesota assumed was Iowa’s antics, England turned to Minnesota and offered his hand to him, saying, “It’s good to meet you, Daniel, was it?”
The lanky blonde smiled as he grasped England’s outstretched hand. “Yah, although we have met before.”
“Y-you have?!” America interjected. “When was this?”
Minnesota rolled his eyes. “War of 1812.” Then he added, “’Course, I was just a little bit then. And I didn’t ‘xactly go by Daniel either.”
America began, predictably, whining, “What? You’ve been tryin’ to take my babies away for that long?”
Iowa and Minnesota just shook their heads and started leading the two nations out of the airport. “Oh, c’mon Dad.” Iowa said. “To be fair, we hated everyone that wasn’t one of us. Heck, we even fought each other every chance we got.” She mused cheerfully, especially considering the subject matter. “Although, we probably hated France more than anyone else.”
America just looked confused. “Why did you hate France?”
Minnesota interjected before Iowa could launch into her France-hating speech. (Yes, it was a real, practiced speech.) “He may have owned our land according to all the nations, but he never had any control over us. So I’m sure you can understand why we were angry with him for selling our land, and our people, to a nation we wanted nothing to do with. Well, at the time, anyway.” Minnesota corrected himself before America could get worked up over it. “I’d say that we’re quite happy with the current arrangements, right?” He glanced at his sister hopefully.
“Hmm?” Iowa said absently, “Oh, yeah, sure.” She snatched England’s left arm excitedly, “I’m so glad you could make it, Iggy!” ‘Sota and I had lots of fun planning for your visit.” Minnesota sweatdropped, had she been paying attention at all? Then again, that was the best way to get America to drop a topic you didn’t want to talk about, simply pretend it didn’t matter.
Minnesota grumbled as he opened the door of his Suburban. “You mean you planned it.”
“Details, details.” Iowa said absently, waving her hand carelessly as she climbed into the van. “Iggy, sit next to me!”
“Right,” England laughed nervously as America began glaring at him again. “So where are we off to now?”
“The Mall of America, of course!” Iowa exclaimed. “You can’t come to the Twin Cities and not go to the Mall!”
America’s face turned white. “We’re going shopping?” He turned to Minnesota and asked, “How ‘bout we drop them off and go… um, somewhere else?” Minnesota fully understood what was going though his father’s mind. Of all the states, there were only four states that none of the rest would willingly go shopping with - California, Connecticut, New York, and Iowa. They each had their own quirks as far as what they would go shopping for, but the result was the same - a shopping trip from hell.
“Don’t you have enough shoes?” England asked. “You certainly bought more than enough in London.” Actually, based on what Iowa had brought back with her, Minnesota was sure that some of those stores wouldn’t have to worry about their rent for awhile.
“Iggy!” Iowa said reproachfully, “A girl can never have too many shoes. Besides, it’s fun to look at things even if you don’t want to buy them.”
“I don’t think you can fit any more shoes in your trunk, Iowa.” Minnesota said, “And remember, we have to fit all four of us in this SUV on the way to your house.” He glanced at his dad sympathetically, as much as he would love to escape, he had promised Iowa that he would help in her (evil) plan.
…
A.N. No offense to any French people, but I imagine all the states/tribes that were included in the Louisiana Purchase would be rather upset with France for being sold without so much as a by your leave.
Iowa’s shoe-shopping habit - Yes, her car is full of shoes. The trunk is full and she’s now filling the backseat, and that’s not even mentioning the shoes in her closet…
Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 1