[Log] Fear of Falling
Who: Echizen Ryoma, Dan Taichi and Echizen Ryoga
Where: The cabins
What: Cause and effect.
When: December 13th
Warnings: PG-13
Comments: Sure. >.>
He had managed to get himself inside. Ryoma now sat in the large common room which was lit up by a happily dancing fire in the fireplace. It was warm in the room, but the boy shivered uncontrollably, hugging himself and rocking back and forth, eyes huge and pupils dilated. His laptop lay beside him on the floor; apparently he had dropped it after he had made the small update to his journal.
To say that Dan was worried would have been a gross understatement. He was practically running to where Ryoma could most probably be found. He had to find his boyfriend and soon. He had to. There was just no other choice.
He hadn't written where he was. Somewhere in the back of his mind this thought nagged him lightly, but he couldn't find it in himself to reach down for his laptop. He couldn't move at all, except for the shivering and the slight rocking. Couldn't think properly. Don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt me
Check room. Run. Check room. Run. Check room, check room, check room -- Ryoma. Dan bit his lip as he saw how bad this boyfriend looked. "Ryo!" he exclaimed, rushing to him. "What happened?" Oh, he'd definitely hurt whoever had caused this...
He couldn't reply, hardly aware that Dan was there. At least, he did not show any visible signs that he noticed him.
"...Ryo?" Getting closer, he was careful, hesitantly touching Ryoma's shoulder. He didn't want to freak him out any worse.
"Don't drop me, don't drop me, don't hurt me anymore, please..." Mumbling, repeating himself over and over.
"Ryo... it's all right." His best comforting voice. "Nobody's going to hurt you. I won't let them." Drop him? Okay. Someone really was going to die. That kind of a fear couldn't come from Ryoma's old experiences.
"..." Rocking, rocking, rocking. "... T-ta-tai...?"
"Yeah, it's me." Smile, Taichi. Smile for him. "You're safe, Ryo. I promise. Nobody's getting through me."
"... I... I wa--want... I want aniki..." And Tai. But Tai was already here. He was here, and he wasn't going anywhere, right? Even though he shouldn't be with someone as worthless as him. He shouldn't, he was bad for Taichi, but... But...
"...I'll get him." Dan nodded. "You want me to go get him, or shall I just call so I won't have to leave you alone?"
"Don't go!" He reached out and grabbed Dan's shirt sleeve, desperately.
"I'm not going, Ryo. I'm not going." He dug the cell phone out of his pocket. "You want me to call him, or would you rather talk with him yourself?"
"... Don't go. Don't go."
"I won't." Dialing Ryoga's number, he moved closer to reach his arm around Ryoma's shoulders. It only took a few words to get the gist of the situation through to Ryoga. Then, he supposed 'Ryoma's upset and wants you' wasn't all that complicated, anyway. After telling Ryoga where they were, he said bye and flipped his phone shut. "There. Your brother will be here in just a minute."
"A-aniki will? My aniki." He leaned into Dan's arms, breathing quick and shallow.
"Yeah. Your aniki. He'll come here, and I'm not leaving. Everything will be all right, I promise. Just calm down..."
"..." He tried, really tried, to listen to Dan's soothing voice and the crackling of the fireplace and the wind blowing outside, all the sounds that might help him calm down, but all he heard was Niou's voice, and the words, and the abyss that opened up underneath him.
"...What happened, Ryo?"
"No, no... ca-can't talk, can't talk..."
"...It's okay, Ryo." Instead of questioning further, he simply held him close, waiting for Ryoga to arrive.
And arrive Ryoga did, soon enough though still it took him too long, rushing into the room. "Chibisuke! What's wrong?"
He couldn't reply, only glanced up, eyes still having a slightly glazed over look about them. "... drop..."
Dan looked seriously over to Ryoga. "...He asked someone not to drop him."
Ryoga's expression hardened. "...Someone's going to be in very, very bad trouble."
And now he was rocking back and forth again, arms hugging himself tightly.
"It's all right, Ryo," Dan murmured, holding onto him. "We won't let anyone hurt you, all right?"
"You're safe now, Chibisuke," Ryoga assured him. "We're not leaving you alone... you can come and sleep in my room tonight if it'll make you feel safe."
"Sle--sleep... Yeah, yeah, but... no fuck. No fuck."
"Of course not, Chibisuke." Ryoga ruffled his hair, trying not to show just how much just hearing those words made him hurt. "Nothing like that. Just sleep. Safe and sound."
"Sa-safe and so-sound. Yes, sleep, safe and... sound." He looked up, now clinging to both of them with his hands. "Everyone. We. Sleep. We'll be safe."
"Yeah. Safe." Dan gave Ryoma his best attempt at a smile. "Nobody'll hurt you. We won't let them."
"You heard your boy," Ryoga confirmed. "All safe." He would find out who had caused this... but first, they needed to get Ryoma to calm down.
As they got to Ryoga's room, a small problem manifested itself; Ryoma absolutely refused to let anyone, Ryoga and Dan both, to help him off the wheelchair. He clung to it so hard that his knuckles whitened, and kept shaking his head feverishly. "Nonononono...!"
"It's all right, Chibisuke," Ryoga assured him. "You can just sit there if you wish. We won't force you up."
"It's all right, Ryo," Dan reassured him quietly. "Nobody's getting dropped. I promise."
Their words seemed to calm him down somewhat; he stopped mumbling and shaking his head, however he kept on clinging to the wheelchair for dear life.
"...Just calm down, Ryo." Dan gave him a small, weak smile.
Slowly, slowly his breathing calmed down and he closed his eyes, burying his face in his hands. "I... don't want to see," he mumbled. "... So far... so far down..."
"Everything's all right, Ryo," Dan told him while Ryoga moved to the window, making sure it was firmly shut and pulling curtains in front of it. "See? The window's closed. Nobody's getting dropped anywhere. I promise desu..."
"Tai... Tai... I'm worthless. Pathetic. He said so. I'm nothing... Without tennis I'm nothing. He said it. I thought so and he said it too."
"That's not true, Ryo. I promise." Dan hugged him just a bit tighter. "You are so much more than just tennis. You can sing, right? You're a great singer. And you're nice when you want to, and smart and cool..."
"No, no, no, no..." He shivered. "He said I was better off dead."
"That's not true." Dan's tone was firm, now. "I would never want you to die."
"He said, he said, he said..." He looked up, searching in the dim light for Ryoga. "... Aniki... Aniki would be happier if I were dead. I know he would."
"Never," Ryoga said. "You're the best thing in my life. I'd be devastated if I lost you."
"... No, no..." He looked at the bed. "I... want..." He shakily pushed himself to his feet, taking a few limping steps towards the bed, supporting himself by leaning against Dan. He was nearly halfway to the bed when his legs gave out underneath him.
Fortunately Dan was there to catch him, scooping him up in his arms. "Shh, Ryo," he murmured. "Nobody's getting dropped. I promise."
"... Don't let go, please, don't." He buried his face against Dan's shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut. It was far down to the floor, he thought, too far down. He couldn't watch.
"I'm not letting go, Ryo." He settled Ryoma on the bed but continued holding onto him, sitting down on the bed next to him. "See? Didn't let go."
If it was the shock finally setting in or if it was the simple fact that he finally was in bed, in Dan's arms, which meant he could allow himself to relax, Ryoma didn't know, but at Dan's soft words, he gave a small sigh and slumped forward, body growing heavy against his boyfriend. Out like a light.
Ryoga sighed as he walked closer, seeing Ryoma fast asleep. "...I'm going to kick some ass when I find out who caused this, student or not," he murmured.
"No, you're not," Dan replied firmly. "There won't be enough scraps left."
Where: The cabins
What: Cause and effect.
When: December 13th
Warnings: PG-13
Comments: Sure. >.>
He had managed to get himself inside. Ryoma now sat in the large common room which was lit up by a happily dancing fire in the fireplace. It was warm in the room, but the boy shivered uncontrollably, hugging himself and rocking back and forth, eyes huge and pupils dilated. His laptop lay beside him on the floor; apparently he had dropped it after he had made the small update to his journal.
To say that Dan was worried would have been a gross understatement. He was practically running to where Ryoma could most probably be found. He had to find his boyfriend and soon. He had to. There was just no other choice.
He hadn't written where he was. Somewhere in the back of his mind this thought nagged him lightly, but he couldn't find it in himself to reach down for his laptop. He couldn't move at all, except for the shivering and the slight rocking. Couldn't think properly. Don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt me
Check room. Run. Check room. Run. Check room, check room, check room -- Ryoma. Dan bit his lip as he saw how bad this boyfriend looked. "Ryo!" he exclaimed, rushing to him. "What happened?" Oh, he'd definitely hurt whoever had caused this...
He couldn't reply, hardly aware that Dan was there. At least, he did not show any visible signs that he noticed him.
"...Ryo?" Getting closer, he was careful, hesitantly touching Ryoma's shoulder. He didn't want to freak him out any worse.
"Don't drop me, don't drop me, don't hurt me anymore, please..." Mumbling, repeating himself over and over.
"Ryo... it's all right." His best comforting voice. "Nobody's going to hurt you. I won't let them." Drop him? Okay. Someone really was going to die. That kind of a fear couldn't come from Ryoma's old experiences.
"..." Rocking, rocking, rocking. "... T-ta-tai...?"
"Yeah, it's me." Smile, Taichi. Smile for him. "You're safe, Ryo. I promise. Nobody's getting through me."
"... I... I wa--want... I want aniki..." And Tai. But Tai was already here. He was here, and he wasn't going anywhere, right? Even though he shouldn't be with someone as worthless as him. He shouldn't, he was bad for Taichi, but... But...
"...I'll get him." Dan nodded. "You want me to go get him, or shall I just call so I won't have to leave you alone?"
"Don't go!" He reached out and grabbed Dan's shirt sleeve, desperately.
"I'm not going, Ryo. I'm not going." He dug the cell phone out of his pocket. "You want me to call him, or would you rather talk with him yourself?"
"... Don't go. Don't go."
"I won't." Dialing Ryoga's number, he moved closer to reach his arm around Ryoma's shoulders. It only took a few words to get the gist of the situation through to Ryoga. Then, he supposed 'Ryoma's upset and wants you' wasn't all that complicated, anyway. After telling Ryoga where they were, he said bye and flipped his phone shut. "There. Your brother will be here in just a minute."
"A-aniki will? My aniki." He leaned into Dan's arms, breathing quick and shallow.
"Yeah. Your aniki. He'll come here, and I'm not leaving. Everything will be all right, I promise. Just calm down..."
"..." He tried, really tried, to listen to Dan's soothing voice and the crackling of the fireplace and the wind blowing outside, all the sounds that might help him calm down, but all he heard was Niou's voice, and the words, and the abyss that opened up underneath him.
"...What happened, Ryo?"
"No, no... ca-can't talk, can't talk..."
"...It's okay, Ryo." Instead of questioning further, he simply held him close, waiting for Ryoga to arrive.
And arrive Ryoga did, soon enough though still it took him too long, rushing into the room. "Chibisuke! What's wrong?"
He couldn't reply, only glanced up, eyes still having a slightly glazed over look about them. "... drop..."
Dan looked seriously over to Ryoga. "...He asked someone not to drop him."
Ryoga's expression hardened. "...Someone's going to be in very, very bad trouble."
And now he was rocking back and forth again, arms hugging himself tightly.
"It's all right, Ryo," Dan murmured, holding onto him. "We won't let anyone hurt you, all right?"
"You're safe now, Chibisuke," Ryoga assured him. "We're not leaving you alone... you can come and sleep in my room tonight if it'll make you feel safe."
"Sle--sleep... Yeah, yeah, but... no fuck. No fuck."
"Of course not, Chibisuke." Ryoga ruffled his hair, trying not to show just how much just hearing those words made him hurt. "Nothing like that. Just sleep. Safe and sound."
"Sa-safe and so-sound. Yes, sleep, safe and... sound." He looked up, now clinging to both of them with his hands. "Everyone. We. Sleep. We'll be safe."
"Yeah. Safe." Dan gave Ryoma his best attempt at a smile. "Nobody'll hurt you. We won't let them."
"You heard your boy," Ryoga confirmed. "All safe." He would find out who had caused this... but first, they needed to get Ryoma to calm down.
As they got to Ryoga's room, a small problem manifested itself; Ryoma absolutely refused to let anyone, Ryoga and Dan both, to help him off the wheelchair. He clung to it so hard that his knuckles whitened, and kept shaking his head feverishly. "Nonononono...!"
"It's all right, Chibisuke," Ryoga assured him. "You can just sit there if you wish. We won't force you up."
"It's all right, Ryo," Dan reassured him quietly. "Nobody's getting dropped. I promise."
Their words seemed to calm him down somewhat; he stopped mumbling and shaking his head, however he kept on clinging to the wheelchair for dear life.
"...Just calm down, Ryo." Dan gave him a small, weak smile.
Slowly, slowly his breathing calmed down and he closed his eyes, burying his face in his hands. "I... don't want to see," he mumbled. "... So far... so far down..."
"Everything's all right, Ryo," Dan told him while Ryoga moved to the window, making sure it was firmly shut and pulling curtains in front of it. "See? The window's closed. Nobody's getting dropped anywhere. I promise desu..."
"Tai... Tai... I'm worthless. Pathetic. He said so. I'm nothing... Without tennis I'm nothing. He said it. I thought so and he said it too."
"That's not true, Ryo. I promise." Dan hugged him just a bit tighter. "You are so much more than just tennis. You can sing, right? You're a great singer. And you're nice when you want to, and smart and cool..."
"No, no, no, no..." He shivered. "He said I was better off dead."
"That's not true." Dan's tone was firm, now. "I would never want you to die."
"He said, he said, he said..." He looked up, searching in the dim light for Ryoga. "... Aniki... Aniki would be happier if I were dead. I know he would."
"Never," Ryoga said. "You're the best thing in my life. I'd be devastated if I lost you."
"... No, no..." He looked at the bed. "I... want..." He shakily pushed himself to his feet, taking a few limping steps towards the bed, supporting himself by leaning against Dan. He was nearly halfway to the bed when his legs gave out underneath him.
Fortunately Dan was there to catch him, scooping him up in his arms. "Shh, Ryo," he murmured. "Nobody's getting dropped. I promise."
"... Don't let go, please, don't." He buried his face against Dan's shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut. It was far down to the floor, he thought, too far down. He couldn't watch.
"I'm not letting go, Ryo." He settled Ryoma on the bed but continued holding onto him, sitting down on the bed next to him. "See? Didn't let go."
If it was the shock finally setting in or if it was the simple fact that he finally was in bed, in Dan's arms, which meant he could allow himself to relax, Ryoma didn't know, but at Dan's soft words, he gave a small sigh and slumped forward, body growing heavy against his boyfriend. Out like a light.
Ryoga sighed as he walked closer, seeing Ryoma fast asleep. "...I'm going to kick some ass when I find out who caused this, student or not," he murmured.
"No, you're not," Dan replied firmly. "There won't be enough scraps left."