[log] Sensei + Bane
Who: Ryoga, Kurobane
When: Friday, after English class
Where: Ryoga's class
What: Bane's assignment raises some concerns.
Rating: PG
For a guy who was being asked to stay back after class, Bane seemed rather joyful. But, then again, he tended to be when it came to socializing. He joked and laughed with his classmates as they all packed up their equipment, and said farewell to some while calling out to a couple others that he'd catch up with them soon. Once the class was almost completely empty, he approached the teacher’s desk, his bag hanging off one shoulder. "You wanted to see me?"
"Yes, I did." Ryoga looked at Bane seriously, waiting for the last students to file out of the classroom. "...I read the assignment you turned in."
Bane adjusted the strap on his shoulder, giving a slow nod. "...Is there something... wrong with it?" 'Cause he really didn't want to have to stay back to write another one.
"Well, the language could be improved, but that's not what concerns me." Ryoga sighed. "...If you don't want anyone to read the struck-out bits, you'd better just rewrite the text on a different piece of paper."
"... I don't like wasting paper..." Bane glanced away, staring out a window.
"You're not an idiot, Kurobane-kun. You must have known I could read all of it." Ryoga shook his head.
For a moment, Bane didn't say anything, then, "I thought I'd scribbled it out enough."
"Well, you didn't." Ryoga folded his hands on his desk in front of him. "...Is it true you kicked your boyfriend hard enough to land him in the infirmary?"
Eyes glued to his feet, Bane just nodded.
"You say you cannot help it," Ryoga continued, mind going through the lines he'd managed to unearth through the lines. "That you're afraid you'll hurt him again, even worse."
Bane nodded again, one hand tightening around the bag strap on his shoulder and the other curling into a fist in his pocket, knuckles white.
"I shouldn't have to tell you that this is rather worrying." Ryoga sighed. "Especially given that the two of you share a room."
A nod. It was all Bane could bring himself to do, unable to find the words to say anything. Besides, what would he say even if he could find the words?
"...You also said you're looking for help." Ryoga sighed. "Have you had any luck at all?"
Another nod, but the words still wouldn't come. It wasn't a subject he liked to discuss, even if knew it should be discussed and sorted out properly.
"I want you to understand I can't just ignore this." Ryoga shook his head slowly. "I'm your teacher, and now I'm aware of the situation. If something worse does happen, it'll be my responsibility."
"... What can you do?" Bane finally pulled his eyes from his shoes, glancing at Ryoga for a split second before looking out the window again.
"...The most obvious solution would be to move you to separate rooms."
"...I thought you'd say that."
"Of course, that wouldn't stop you from seeing each other most of the time, anyway." Ryoga sighed.
Bane nodded. "If we aren't in class, we're usually together."
"So that wouldn't help unless you were forbidden from being near each other... and that is obviously not good enough."
"... I couldn't stand to be apart from him." It wouldn't matter even if they were forbidden from seeing each other. They'd find a way. They always did, even when they were grounded.
"Exactly." Which presented the problem, obviously. "Which means the solution would be to remove the risk through other means."
"I'm..... talking to someone. But it just doesn't feel like it's helping."
"Then you must try something else." Ryoga's tone was firm. "We both know you'd never forgive yourself if you ended up doing some permanent damage... and even the slightest bit of harm is wrong."
Bane glanced down at his feet again, chewing on his lip. He knew that well. There had always been hushed discussion about the way he and Dabide acted with each other; about how abusive their friendship was. Many people had joked about the fact that maybe Dabide was brain damaged because of the kicks to the head. Bane was scared that it was true. "What though...?"
"Try to learn control," sighed Ryoga. "Get others to interfere as long as you don't trust yourself. Teach him to defend himself against you and not just accept the abuse. Don't let yourself hurt him, and don't let others let you do it."
"... I'm already trying most of that. Atobe suggested the same things..." Bane sighed. "But it's easier said than done. Usually, the dogs get set on him, cause the worst they do is mess up his hair... but sometimes..."
"Why do you do it?" Ryoga asked. "It seems clear to me you do not wish to hurt him."
"...I just... I can't help it..."
"Sure you can. You are in control of your own actions, aren't you? Nobody is forcing you to hurt someone you love."
"I can't, alright? I don't know what it is but something just gets all worked up inside me and I hate the feeling but at the same time it feels like a good feeling... And it just happens and I can't stop it."
"Have you considered finding some other way to get rid of that aggression?"
"....No. Not that there'd be anything." Bane frowned and stepped away, dropping his bag onto the ground as he sat on the edge of a desk. "Not that it'd help... It comes in bursts and doesn't stick around."
"Martial arts? More tennis practice? Kicking yourself instead of him? Counting backwards from a hundred? Teaching your dogs not to let anyone -- including you -- hurt him?"
The frown deepened slightly, turning slightly thoughtful. "... It won't work.'
"Well, you've got to find something to do about it," Ryoga stated the obvious. "Preferably before he's carted off to hospital or worse."
Bane sighed and rubbed his face with his hands before dragging them through his hair. "What could be worse than him being carted off to hospital?"
"His being taken to the mortuary."
"... That wouldn't happen." It couldn't possibly...
"One good hit to the head. Irreparable brain damage, internal bleeding, eventual death."
Bane's eyes widened as he stared down at the floor, slowly shaking his head. "N-No... Please, God, no..." he murmured under his breath and squeezed his eyes shut, gripping onto the edge of the desk.
"I'm sorry, but it's the truth. It's not just little pokes and slaps. Whenever there's violence involved, there's always, always the risk of the worst happening." He didn't enjoy seeing the boy look so aghast, but he needed to make his point.
For a moment, Bane didn't say anything or even move, his knuckles white from where he was still holding the edge of the table. When he felt confident that he wasn't going to lose his composure, he gave a shaky sigh and, still staring at the floor, murmured, "...separate us."
"That's only a temporary solution, though."
"...I know. But the further away I am... the less likely I am to hurt him. At least.... until I get it more under control."
"You'll have to talk about that with the camp management. I can't affect the room arrangements. Or if you don't want to take up the subject with authorities, arrange to switch rooms with a friend for a while."
"... They'll want to know why." He hadn't told any of his friends what was going on, either out of embarrassment or shame.
"Say that you're fighting. Your dogs snore at night and he can't sleep. Or, heck, just tell them. At least then they could keep an eye on you."
Bane shook his head slowly. "I'm scared they'll hate me for it..."
"You're not scared your boyfriend will?"
"I've already talked to him about it... About getting help and about teaching him to defend himself..."
"And he still hasn't gotten a clue?"
"...He knows. I just... don't know how bad he thinks it is..."
"...Would you like me to talk with him?"
Bane hesitated for a moment before slowly nodding. "If... you think it will help..."
"I don't know. You're the one who knows him. That's why I'm asking you."
"I think... Please. If you can."
"I can try." Ryoga sighed. Because obviously there wasn't enough stress in his own life...
"...Thanks, sensei.." Bane ran his hand through his hair slowly, still not looking away from the floor.
"The best thanks I can get is not seeing my students killing each other... on purpose or not."
"... I'd never be able to live with myself if anything happened to Hikaru because of me."
"I know. Which is exactly why you need to do something."
Bane nodded and stood from the desk, picking his bag up. "I know... and I am trying..."
"Good boy." Ryoga gave him a serious gaze. "Just try to make sure you try hard enough."
"I will," Bane met Ryoga's gaze, his own serious if not a bit wary. "I'll do anything for him."
"I do hope so." Ryoga's eyes narrowed a bit. "I will be keeping an eye on you."
".. I understand," Bane bowed slightly as he spoke, his hand gripping tightly onto the single bag strap over his shoulder. "Was... there anything else?"
"Not for now. I'll get you the actual grade for your assignment later."
"Alright." He bowed again, before heading for the door. "Thanks again, sensei."
"Take care, Kurobane-kun."
Bane simply nodded before he left the classroom, closing the door behind him. He leaned against the wall beside the door and bowed his head for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut. The idea that he could possibly kill Dabide... It scared him more than anything else ever.
Ryoga wished there'd been more he could do. Really, he did. As things stood, though, he could do little else but pray and hope for the best.
And hope it was enough.
When: Friday, after English class
Where: Ryoga's class
What: Bane's assignment raises some concerns.
Rating: PG
For a guy who was being asked to stay back after class, Bane seemed rather joyful. But, then again, he tended to be when it came to socializing. He joked and laughed with his classmates as they all packed up their equipment, and said farewell to some while calling out to a couple others that he'd catch up with them soon. Once the class was almost completely empty, he approached the teacher’s desk, his bag hanging off one shoulder. "You wanted to see me?"
"Yes, I did." Ryoga looked at Bane seriously, waiting for the last students to file out of the classroom. "...I read the assignment you turned in."
Bane adjusted the strap on his shoulder, giving a slow nod. "...Is there something... wrong with it?" 'Cause he really didn't want to have to stay back to write another one.
"Well, the language could be improved, but that's not what concerns me." Ryoga sighed. "...If you don't want anyone to read the struck-out bits, you'd better just rewrite the text on a different piece of paper."
"... I don't like wasting paper..." Bane glanced away, staring out a window.
"You're not an idiot, Kurobane-kun. You must have known I could read all of it." Ryoga shook his head.
For a moment, Bane didn't say anything, then, "I thought I'd scribbled it out enough."
"Well, you didn't." Ryoga folded his hands on his desk in front of him. "...Is it true you kicked your boyfriend hard enough to land him in the infirmary?"
Eyes glued to his feet, Bane just nodded.
"You say you cannot help it," Ryoga continued, mind going through the lines he'd managed to unearth through the lines. "That you're afraid you'll hurt him again, even worse."
Bane nodded again, one hand tightening around the bag strap on his shoulder and the other curling into a fist in his pocket, knuckles white.
"I shouldn't have to tell you that this is rather worrying." Ryoga sighed. "Especially given that the two of you share a room."
A nod. It was all Bane could bring himself to do, unable to find the words to say anything. Besides, what would he say even if he could find the words?
"...You also said you're looking for help." Ryoga sighed. "Have you had any luck at all?"
Another nod, but the words still wouldn't come. It wasn't a subject he liked to discuss, even if knew it should be discussed and sorted out properly.
"I want you to understand I can't just ignore this." Ryoga shook his head slowly. "I'm your teacher, and now I'm aware of the situation. If something worse does happen, it'll be my responsibility."
"... What can you do?" Bane finally pulled his eyes from his shoes, glancing at Ryoga for a split second before looking out the window again.
"...The most obvious solution would be to move you to separate rooms."
"...I thought you'd say that."
"Of course, that wouldn't stop you from seeing each other most of the time, anyway." Ryoga sighed.
Bane nodded. "If we aren't in class, we're usually together."
"So that wouldn't help unless you were forbidden from being near each other... and that is obviously not good enough."
"... I couldn't stand to be apart from him." It wouldn't matter even if they were forbidden from seeing each other. They'd find a way. They always did, even when they were grounded.
"Exactly." Which presented the problem, obviously. "Which means the solution would be to remove the risk through other means."
"I'm..... talking to someone. But it just doesn't feel like it's helping."
"Then you must try something else." Ryoga's tone was firm. "We both know you'd never forgive yourself if you ended up doing some permanent damage... and even the slightest bit of harm is wrong."
Bane glanced down at his feet again, chewing on his lip. He knew that well. There had always been hushed discussion about the way he and Dabide acted with each other; about how abusive their friendship was. Many people had joked about the fact that maybe Dabide was brain damaged because of the kicks to the head. Bane was scared that it was true. "What though...?"
"Try to learn control," sighed Ryoga. "Get others to interfere as long as you don't trust yourself. Teach him to defend himself against you and not just accept the abuse. Don't let yourself hurt him, and don't let others let you do it."
"... I'm already trying most of that. Atobe suggested the same things..." Bane sighed. "But it's easier said than done. Usually, the dogs get set on him, cause the worst they do is mess up his hair... but sometimes..."
"Why do you do it?" Ryoga asked. "It seems clear to me you do not wish to hurt him."
"...I just... I can't help it..."
"Sure you can. You are in control of your own actions, aren't you? Nobody is forcing you to hurt someone you love."
"I can't, alright? I don't know what it is but something just gets all worked up inside me and I hate the feeling but at the same time it feels like a good feeling... And it just happens and I can't stop it."
"Have you considered finding some other way to get rid of that aggression?"
"....No. Not that there'd be anything." Bane frowned and stepped away, dropping his bag onto the ground as he sat on the edge of a desk. "Not that it'd help... It comes in bursts and doesn't stick around."
"Martial arts? More tennis practice? Kicking yourself instead of him? Counting backwards from a hundred? Teaching your dogs not to let anyone -- including you -- hurt him?"
The frown deepened slightly, turning slightly thoughtful. "... It won't work.'
"Well, you've got to find something to do about it," Ryoga stated the obvious. "Preferably before he's carted off to hospital or worse."
Bane sighed and rubbed his face with his hands before dragging them through his hair. "What could be worse than him being carted off to hospital?"
"His being taken to the mortuary."
"... That wouldn't happen." It couldn't possibly...
"One good hit to the head. Irreparable brain damage, internal bleeding, eventual death."
Bane's eyes widened as he stared down at the floor, slowly shaking his head. "N-No... Please, God, no..." he murmured under his breath and squeezed his eyes shut, gripping onto the edge of the desk.
"I'm sorry, but it's the truth. It's not just little pokes and slaps. Whenever there's violence involved, there's always, always the risk of the worst happening." He didn't enjoy seeing the boy look so aghast, but he needed to make his point.
For a moment, Bane didn't say anything or even move, his knuckles white from where he was still holding the edge of the table. When he felt confident that he wasn't going to lose his composure, he gave a shaky sigh and, still staring at the floor, murmured, "...separate us."
"That's only a temporary solution, though."
"...I know. But the further away I am... the less likely I am to hurt him. At least.... until I get it more under control."
"You'll have to talk about that with the camp management. I can't affect the room arrangements. Or if you don't want to take up the subject with authorities, arrange to switch rooms with a friend for a while."
"... They'll want to know why." He hadn't told any of his friends what was going on, either out of embarrassment or shame.
"Say that you're fighting. Your dogs snore at night and he can't sleep. Or, heck, just tell them. At least then they could keep an eye on you."
Bane shook his head slowly. "I'm scared they'll hate me for it..."
"You're not scared your boyfriend will?"
"I've already talked to him about it... About getting help and about teaching him to defend himself..."
"And he still hasn't gotten a clue?"
"...He knows. I just... don't know how bad he thinks it is..."
"...Would you like me to talk with him?"
Bane hesitated for a moment before slowly nodding. "If... you think it will help..."
"I don't know. You're the one who knows him. That's why I'm asking you."
"I think... Please. If you can."
"I can try." Ryoga sighed. Because obviously there wasn't enough stress in his own life...
"...Thanks, sensei.." Bane ran his hand through his hair slowly, still not looking away from the floor.
"The best thanks I can get is not seeing my students killing each other... on purpose or not."
"... I'd never be able to live with myself if anything happened to Hikaru because of me."
"I know. Which is exactly why you need to do something."
Bane nodded and stood from the desk, picking his bag up. "I know... and I am trying..."
"Good boy." Ryoga gave him a serious gaze. "Just try to make sure you try hard enough."
"I will," Bane met Ryoga's gaze, his own serious if not a bit wary. "I'll do anything for him."
"I do hope so." Ryoga's eyes narrowed a bit. "I will be keeping an eye on you."
".. I understand," Bane bowed slightly as he spoke, his hand gripping tightly onto the single bag strap over his shoulder. "Was... there anything else?"
"Not for now. I'll get you the actual grade for your assignment later."
"Alright." He bowed again, before heading for the door. "Thanks again, sensei."
"Take care, Kurobane-kun."
Bane simply nodded before he left the classroom, closing the door behind him. He leaned against the wall beside the door and bowed his head for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut. The idea that he could possibly kill Dabide... It scared him more than anything else ever.
Ryoga wished there'd been more he could do. Really, he did. As things stood, though, he could do little else but pray and hope for the best.
And hope it was enough.