Who: Dan Taichi, Echizen Ryoma
What: Ryoma wants to know where Taichi has been. The story changes more than once.
When: September 16/17th, late at night
Where: Chibi Pair's room
WARNINGS: PG-13 for language and subject matter
He couldn't sleep. Somewhere during the night he had woken up, and he noticed Tai wasn't anywhere in the room. That frightened him. His first thought was, what if someone had come and snatched him away? What if he was in that basement now and Ryoma didn't know and wasn't there to help him and... He realized he was working himself to a panic attack and forced himself to calm down, reaching up to grab Sanada's cap away from the bedpost. He held it close, almost like a talisman, hoping to calm down. Soon he did, at least somewhat, but he still couldn't get back to sleep. Where the hell are you?
It was awfully late, now. At least that meant Ryoma would most likely be asleep, which was good. He had no wish to worry his boyfriend any more than was necessary. Nevertheless, he paused behind their door one last time, scrubbing away the last remaining tears from his eyes and face before he quietly, quietly opened the door to step in.
And the night light immediately went on. "Where have you been?"
"Ryo," Dan said, startled. "I thought you'd be asleep."
"I was." He clutched Sanada's hat tighter. "You look horrible."
"Sorry." Dan tried to smile, shuffling towards his own bed. Pavlov stirred, looking at him. Quickly rushing to his side, the dog whined pitifully, doubtlessly worried by the smell of blood.
"Where were you? What happened? Did... Did someone hurt you?"
"I'm all right, Ryo, I promise." Well, physically he was. The smile he gave was rather strained, though, before he turned to his dog, murmuring reassurances and scratching the thick, white fur. "It was... not important."
"..." He lay back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Really. So... This would not be you trying to keep something from me or something, right?"
"Ryo..." Dan sighed. "I'm a dataist. There's always something I'm keeping from you."
"... Yeah. But usually it's not something that deals with you coming home looking like hell fucked you over."
"I told you, I'm not hurt." That much he was going to cling to. "I just... did some training. To get my mind off things." He hated lying to Ryo, especially on such matters, but then it wasn't like he truly had a choice.
I don't believe you. He closed his eyes. He couldn't argue with Taichi however, didn't have the mental strength. Instead he rolled over on his side and clung to Baka Saru. "Whatever."
"...I'm sorry," he murmured, finally stopping scratching Pavlov and starting to peel off his clothes instead. He was exhausted, weighed down by the kind of bone-weariness that had little to do with physical excercise. "I never meant to make you worry."
His back was still turned, but he shrugged. "Just forget it."
Great. And just as he'd managed to get the tears to stop, too. Swallowing, he did his best to control himself, a shaking smile to a back that could not see. "...Good night, Ryo."
"Night." He still wasn't sure he could sleep. Damn it.
Dan quickly put on his pyjamas, shivering with cold as he slipped between the sheets. For a long time, he was silent. Finally, as he hoped Ryoma had already fallen asleep, he allowed himself to burst into tears again, quiet sobs wrecking his lithe frame time and time again.
It was worth it, he still kept telling himself, clinging to that one thought. You're safe now. It was worth it.
Ryoma wasn't asleep, far from it. When he heard the crying, he pushed the covers away and wobbled over to Taichi's bed. "Just training, huh?"
Shit. Calm down, Taichi, calm down. "...Training to get my mind off things desu."
"Taichi. Stop it." If he was upset enough to revert to using 'desu', it was serious.
"Stop what?"
"Just... Stop. I... I don't know what to say to you, but... Something's wrong. And... I can't push it, not now, but if you're hurting and if someone hurt you or something, I want to know. I can't nag at you and hope that you'll tell me, but... Please."
"Nobody hurt me desu." Still insistent. I did it myself. "...If I'm keeping something from you, it's because you're better off not knowing."
"You're crying. How am I better off not knowing?" He had to get back to his own bed, without the crutches he was unable to support himself any longer. He didn't want to leave Taichi's side however, and that short hesitation made it a little bit too late for him to return to his bed. His legs buckled underneath him and he fell down to his knees, hissing in pain. Damn it!
"...Ryo?" Dan shot up in his bed, teary face peering at him through the darkness. "Are you all right?"
"Scraped my knee." Mutter, mutter.
"I'll help you back to bed." He pushed the covers away, feet moving over the edge of the bed, legs following.
"I'm sorry..." He inhaled sharply. "You're feeling like crap, you shouldn't have to worry about me..."
"Of course I worry about you," Dan said, crouching down to help him up. "I love you, Ryo. I won't let you get hurt anymore desu..."
"But you're hurt." Not physically, he realized that much, but...
"Far less than you." No outright denial, this time.
He caught on, and glanced over at Dan. "... So?"
"So. Compared with you, I have no right to complain desu."
"Don't do that, then. Don't compare yourself to me. That's not what I want anyway." He heaved himself onto the bed.
"I just don't want to see you hurt again." His voice was deadly serious.
"... You're almost hurting me right now." Cruel words, but he was too tired to sugar coat anything he said.
"...I am?"
He nodded. "You're not trusting me."
"It's myself I don't trust." Dan sighed. "I -- I'll tell you some day, Ryo, I promise. Some time I'm not exhausted and shaken and you're not quite so... vulnerable."
"... Vulnerable?" Yes, dear.
"You've been hurt emotionally, physically, and mentally," Dan pointed out. "You've been thoroughly traumatized, whether or not you want to admit it."
"I'm just weak." And filthy.
"You're not. You just need a moment to gather your strength." I am filthy.
"..." He bit down on his lip, wishing he could reach out and simply hug Tai... But he couldn't. Couldn't bring himself to. Instead he tried desperately to brighten the mood. "What I need is a band aid."
Dan managed a shaky smile. "...That, I can give you." Enough blood had been spilled tonight.
"Thanks." He smiled back, rolling up the leg of the pajama pants, exposing the skidded knee.
Dan rummaged around in the half-dark room before he returned, brandishing a band-aid as though it were some kind of a weapon to wield against any hurts Ryoma might unduly suffer. "Let's get you all patched up~"
"Yes please," Ryoma managed to grin, but then the grin faded as he stared at the top of Taichi's head. "Blood. That's blood." And in the light of the night lamp, his eyes, that were good enough to begin with, noticed that no, the blood was not coming from Taichi himself. "... What the...?"
Dan froze, then looked up, a small smile on his face as he patched the band aid over Ryoma's knee. "No, it's not."
"Yes, it is." He reached out a bandaged hand to allow his fingers to touch the dried stain on Taichi's hair.
There shouldn't have been any; the wash had been quick but thorough. And yet, if there was anywhere a trace might remain, it was within the thick bush he sometimes was forced to call his hair.
Dan sighed. Cover up the terrible truth with a slightly less bad lie. "...I got into a fight."
"... With whom?"
"Out at town. I didn't ask for names."
Ryoma snorted, pushing Taichi away. "Not training then, were you? Good work being truthful to me, Tai."
"I didn't want to worry you."
"... Where does the blood come from, damn it?!"
"I got into a fight. That's the truth." Or close enough, anyway. "I lied because I knew you'd freak out if you heard I went out to the town in the middle of the night, looking for trouble."
He wasn't completely convinced. "A fight bad enough that it made you cry?"
"...I'm not a fighter, Ryo. I can hold up my own, but I don't enjoy hurting people."
"And... You did tonight? Hurt someone?"
"...There is blood, isn't there?" Dan's eyes avoided Ryoma's.
"... Mm." What else was there to say?
"...I told you you'd be better off not knowing."
"And I don't believe you." He sighed, hugging the plush monkey.
"That's all I can give you, though." Making sure the band-aid stuck properly, he then gently pulled down the pyjama leg, standing up and backing away. Ryoma probably didn't want him too close right now, anyway.
"Tai..." Ryoma sighed, sinking back againt the pillows and closed his eyes. "Thanks. I mean... For the band aid. I... I don't understand you..."
"What do you mean?" asked Taichi, quietly.
"I don't know. I..." He paused, a thought suddenly hitting him. Blood on Taichi. And Sanada's words came back to him. "... Tai, uhm... You haven't... I mean... Hung out with Sanada any, have you?"
"...He asked me some questions." All true.
"... Questions...?"
"...About what you could remember about your attackers."
Ryoma bit his lower lip, frowning. "Well... He kind of said he'd take care of them..."
"Yes. He... promised the same thing to me." Dangerous waters, but then he didn't want to lie any more than necessary.
"Did you help him?" He had to ask.
"...I did tell him what I'd managed to piece together from your ramblings." Please sound convincing.
"... That's all? I mean... Really? You promise?" His heart felt far too tight for his chest right now.
Dan swallowed. He didn't want to lie to Ryoma. It'd be so easy to just say that, though... "...He promised to let me watch."
"..." The room spun around and toppled over onto itself. Ryoma lay down, closing his eyes to wait for the vertigo to pass. "... And? Did you?" His lips felt numb, it was difficult to get the words past them.
"...They are definitely dead," Dan whispered, unable to look at Ryoma.
"..." Shit oh shit oh shit oh shit "... Were they four?"
Now it was Dan who closed his eyes, swallowing. "...Five." He had counted. He was sure. There was no way he could have been mistaken.
Ryoma felt how he paled and he rolled over onto his side, breathing hard. "Pa--paper bag," he muttered.
Wordlessly, Dan rushed to find one. He'd gotten quite used to having them around. Better than having to clean the floor all the time.
He grabbed it, spent some time throwing up and then simply hyperventilated into the bag, not even minding the smell.
Dan felt utterly helpless, watching Ryoma. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could say without risking freaking him out even more.
"They won't hurt you anymore," he murmured, barely audible even to his own ears. "They won't hurt anyone anymore."
"..." They were gone. They were really gone. He had to believe that, couldn't do anything but believe that. He had to talk to Sanada eventually. But what would he say? What could he say? He wasn't sure. "Ta--Taichi... Ho--hold me. Please."
...That was something he could do. Gently taking the bag away and setting it aside, he reached his arms around Ryoma, holding on.
He wouldn't allow anything to hurt Ryoma. Not anymore.