Yes, in my experience lots of churches don't do a good job with single adults. Young adult programs for the just-out-of-college crowd, maybe. Not such a great job with the "most people my age are married" crowd. My best advice is to be yourself; God accepts you the way you are.
On being tough on yourself: two thoughts. First of all, really you don't need ANYBODY to be tough on you. Truly. We don't do good things and we don't grow as people because we want to avoid people being tough on us. Nope. We grow as a response to God's grace. God doesn't condemn us. So why do we condemn ourselves? You're not going to turn into some crazed sinner if you are gentler with yourself. I promise you that it's not the thought of my mom's disapproval that keeps me from sleeping around ::grin::
Second: negative self-talk is something depressed people do more of than non-depressed people. Really and truly. You're a scientist, and the science on this one is solid. So working on cognitive therapy techniques to change that is part of treating the depression. I know -- because I've been there! -- that it seems ridiculous and that the stuff that you say to yourself may feel entirely rational and necessare to you. But honestly, changing the self-talk thing changes you.
And YAY for dancing and circuit training and swimming! All that stuff is just amazingly good for your serotonin levels.
Yes, in my experience lots of churches don't do a good job with single adults. Young adult programs for the just-out-of-college crowd, maybe. Not such a great job with the "most people my age are married" crowd. My best advice is to be yourself; God accepts you the way you are.
On being tough on yourself: two thoughts. First of all, really you don't need ANYBODY to be tough on you. Truly. We don't do good things and we don't grow as people because we want to avoid people being tough on us. Nope. We grow as a response to God's grace. God doesn't condemn us. So why do we condemn ourselves? You're not going to turn into some crazed sinner if you are gentler with yourself. I promise you that it's not the thought of my mom's disapproval that keeps me from sleeping around ::grin::
Second: negative self-talk is something depressed people do more of than non-depressed people. Really and truly. You're a scientist, and the science on this one is solid. So working on cognitive therapy techniques to change that is part of treating the depression. I know -- because I've been there! -- that it seems ridiculous and that the stuff that you say to yourself may feel entirely rational and necessare to you. But honestly, changing the self-talk thing changes you.
And YAY for dancing and circuit training and swimming! All that stuff is just amazingly good for your serotonin levels.
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