The Situation.

[tendrils]

The Beginning
It would be almost impossible to be unaware of the drama that's been going on lately.
To this point, I've tried to stay out of it, but am now finding it impossible to do so.
Unlike other posts, this won't be a brief 'please stop the fighting', but rather the most complete dissection of the situation that I can muster.
In fact, this will

Comments

[jebila]

Just for clarification, the first time I remember seeing Em and Nay that night was as I passed them in the hallway (I think you guys had just come back from getting speakers??) and I looked at Nay, she gave me a filthy look and walked straight past me. I didn't see Em's face directly but since she waked straight past me too, I would assume hers would have been the same. Silly assumption I know. Besides, I had no glasses on that night so there's every possibility that I walked past lots of people that night and didn't say anything.

I don't recall giggling like schoolgirls at Em and Nay. Quite frankly I wasn't happy about the situation, but Loz and I were there to have a good time and to be with Benny. So laughing ensued for most of the night. It was not a place to air our laundry and have another heated discussion about why the other person was wrong (which really, is the only place our arguments have ever gotten us... we can't agree, and I realise that), and I am not the kind of person that will overlook someone who has quite obviously stated their dislike for me and 'pretend to be friends' for the night. So yeah, we ignored each other. I didn't find anything wrong with that method.

I have no desire to be friends with Em, for reasons that if not already stated, I will keep to myself.

I find it absolutely unfair that Loz is being brought into this whole conversation when she had nothing to do with our argument and never commented on it. The rift with Em and Loz had been there for quite some time, and I think Em was just cranky that I was having fun with someone who also shared a dislike of her. Loz and I are actually quite close friends, and regardless of the shared connection, would have been spending most of the night together anyway. Giggling or otherwise.

And I don't see the problem with the house issue either. You were entitled to not let us in, and we made no fuss about that. Benny was upset at the time and though he may not remember saying it, he did tell us it was neutral territory which is the only reason we even bothered trying to go. Believe me, it was the last place we wanted to be.

I think its awful that you're all not only bitching about me, but that you're bitching to everyone else about how awful I am. I don't think its winning friends, and if people are going to think badly of me because of the bitchings of someone else, then I doubt having them in my life would have been a wise choice anyway. Everyone has been affected by this argument, and as such, everyone is entitled to have their say on it. Bitching about people who have the balls to actually stand up and say "this is childish!!" just makes me think you want to drag it out even more rather than forget about it.

And as for the Sez thing, its wonderful what can happen when two people talk to each other and are both willing to listen.

[nayby]

I did actually smile at you and say hi when I walked passed. If it looked any different it was because I was fucked, and the only thing on my mind was getting gum and a cigarette, which happens when we are all that way.

I also don't remember giggling like school girls, and if we were, rest assured it wasn't about you. Believe it or not, I don't have a problem with you, only your actions towards me, which I am not discussing, especially not here. I don't see the point because I think you've made your mind up about me, and it's a lost cause.

Sez wasn't mentioned in this whole post...I am confused?

[nayby]

Ok Nay, it helps if you read things properly and a few times before you go replying, you didn't say we were giggling like school girls, it was in reference to something else.

But I'm sure that we where at one stage, I'm sure everyone was because, well, it's a party, and I was a giggling, fucked, messy drunk that night

:P

[jebila]

Well I certainly didn't interpret it as a smile, so I apologise if you did, for thats how I saw it.

The giggling like schoolgirls thing was directed at Loz and I, not you. I personally think you do have a problem with me. For I don't think I've done anything in this whole thing that was against you, that warranted being ignored (if that in fact happened) apart from have opinions differing from Em's. I know you're close friends with Em, so I can understand you choosing sides. However your actions of bitching about me to everyone else (the walls have ears) show that you surely don't respect me. So I think its best to leave it for now. If you wish to clear things up feel free to give me a call.

A conversation between Sez and I was behind the one of the links.

[nayby]

Well that's just the thing, so far I have stayed quiet thought this whole thing. I have never even made a post about this thing.

As for the bitching thing, I would like to know where you got that from, because when this whole thing first started I was the one trying to calm Em down and get her to see it from different angles while still trying to be a supportive friend. Believe it or not, at the start, I was trying to be the peacemaker.

I then defended myself on that post, not addressing anything but where my name was mentioned. I thought you and I were ok, but the next thing I know I'm booted from your friend's list.

Obviously not, and that hurt. Still don't really know what I've done wrong actually, and why the fuck I've been pulled into this in the first place simply by being a good friend to Em and supporting her when she needed it. I never once said a thing on that post, because I considered it to be something between 2 good friends and I didn't want to take sides.

But I continue to be dragged into this, and my name continues to be mentioned, and god knows why.

Before this even happened, I spend a fuck load of time with Em. I'm surprised Ten isn't thinking there's something up between us yet ;P

So of course Em is going to talk to me about it, it's only natural. The only time I started getting angry/annoyed was when you took me off your friend's list. We are a group of nerds, and I think that's the biggest insult ever. If you take someone off there, you obviously have no inclination to talk to them again.

[jebila]

I took you off after the party, because I felt that you had made your feelings about me quite clear.

I have nothing against your friendship with Em. If you want to know more I'll have to do it via another medium because I don't want it to make things worse. Am doing uni work right now but msg me on msn if you feel you need to.

[nayby]

I will...but not right now. I need to sort out in my head what I want to say first, because I don't want to say anything i'll regret later.

[nayby]

And you know what pisses me off the most about this? Because of what I've said, I will be upset and miserable for the rest of the day, because chances are I will loose someone that I thought would be a good friend for the rest of my life.

But I can't stay quiet anymore, especially when I keep being mentioned.

[tendrils]

Regardless of whether you recall it or not, I saw yourself and Loz at the bar upstairs, giggling like schoolgirls. I cannot say matter-of-fact that it was or wasn't about Em or Nay, but given the situation at that time, I was sure it was something to do with Em. I then asked her if anything had just happened - without mentioning why I was asking.

I can understand why you might find it unfair for Loz to be brought into this, but the fact remains that she has put herself right in the middle of it, just not quite as publicly as everything else in this matter has been.

[jebila]

Fine, thats open to interpretation. Just letting you know that most ceraintainly wasn't our first encounter that night.

I won't comment on Loz. I'm sure you're aware of how this has affected her so I won't play a part in making this any worse when it is already of your opinion that she is at fault for being involved with this.

[tendrils]

Yes, it is open to interpretation... and I gave as much information as I could on the situation so people could make up their own minds - and stated everything as opinion/point-of-view as just that.

Saying 'I won't comment on Loz' then following that up with a comment on my assumed opinion of Loz, is completely contradictory.

[jebila]

I was verifying why I wasn't going to comment, and as you have said but the fact remains that she has put herself right in the middle of it, just not quite as publicly as everything else in this matter has been., I don't think I am assuming anything of your opinion, merely relaying my interpretation of what you've already said.

[sn00k]

I do object to it being a fact that I have put myself right in the middle of this. Apart from just hanging our with Jen that night, my only contribution was calling you to be let in to the party ( at someone elses request )and sms messages to you as a result, which, as I have explained, was interpreted incorrectly. I believe that we were both equally at fault in this. Me for replying the way I did, you for not being clear with what you meant.

However, this was then relayed to Em, hence her messages to me and my replies. Both based on assumptions that were not true. Had we of spoken and realised the misunderstanding before passing this information onto other people, my involvement would have been minimal.

[tendrils]

Sorry, accidentally hit post.

I think its awful that you're all not only bitching about me
If that's the way you see it. But what I did was this post was to state as matter-of-factly as I can the events that transpired, from my point of view. Of course, it's very easy to brand me biased, but would've also been very easy for me to bring up many things that I cannot back up.
I have not bitched about anyone who said it was childish - all I have said in regards to that is the "won't somebody think of the children" response just isn't appropriate. Also, people of that opinion are entitled to it, but should simply step out of the situation for their own sanity.

[jebila]

I didn't mean that this post specifically was a bitch. Possibly a bad choice of words. I'm aware of people at Em's house bitching about people who have made those posts, whether you're included in that or not isn't the issue. I just think that these people are allowed to voice their opinions (and I agree with them) and shouldn't have their opinions branded as inappropriate. That all.

[tendrils]

Then you should consider your words more carefully before posting.

Of course people are allowed to voice their opinions... of course people are allowed to post whatever they like in their own journals - and of course, being the public format that livejournal is, other people have the right of reply.

It was more of a friendly warning that this is a far from friendly situation. A brief mention of the difference between those posts and what I was trying to achieve before the final "It should be more than obvious by now that this is/was not just a small disagreement between friends. Friendship[s] have been ended and none of the previously mentioned 'kiss and make up' posts will have the desired effect."

If anyone wishes to retort about anything I've said in this post, they are more than entitled to their right of reply... I encourage it.