The Situation.
The Beginning
It would be almost impossible to be unaware of the drama that's been going on lately.
To this point, I've tried to stay out of it, but am now finding it impossible to do so.
Unlike other posts, this won't be a brief 'please stop the fighting', but rather the most complete dissection of the situation that I can muster.
In fact, this will probably cover things that a lot of people aren't even aware are happening.
As such, I apologise in advance to anyone who didn't want their dirty laundry hung out for the world to see... but I need evidence, not just hearsay.
Also, there are certain things that are one person's word against another's... as such, this will turn into a very heated argument, of that I am sure.
So a warning to anyone who wants to comment: don't weigh in unless you're sure you can deal with the response you'll receive and are willing to continue.
It started in Em's Newcastle Gluten Free community - which was created to keep the topic out of her own journal ( better than whinging on my own journal...). As such, anyone reading - you would assume - is interested in that part of her life, not just a friend - such people would only read her magenta_babylon journal.
From there, the point was missed and ins ults quickly turned to threats. But it was very quickly easy to see that there were issues bigger than the current situation bubbling in the background, because comments like something else you made up to make us feel sorry for you?? don't come from nowhere.
Other people started offering their opinions but it seems to me that there was a lot of talking, but not much listening.
Even when the discussion could continue further, it seemed that people were more interested in closing doors than having a rational discussion argument on the matter.
By now, anyone who'd read along knew that there was trouble, but that's what it took a turn. It was taken into personal journals - involving 'the whole world' in the topic.
FYI there's a conversation on the topic that is worth a read - all perspectives in this matter require proper perusal.
Benny's 21st
And so, it was a big blow up, friendships were mortally wounded and 'everyone' was worried that there would be some sort of drama/confrontation/whatever at Benny's 21st.
This is where it becomes hard to reference and definitely become one person's word against another.
The major fact in dispute is who ignored who. I was not present at any interaction between Em and Jen, so do not really know, however, I do have some evidence.
You'll have to excuse that some of this is a personal account [but at least of that I can be sure I know what is fact] - and some proof referenced is from private conversations I had.
The first I noticed of anything was when Em was downstairs having a cigarette with Nay - I was upstairs and noticed Jen and Loz come into the room, giggling like schoolgirls. Of course, I had no idea exactly what had just transpired, but there can be no denying there had to have been something.
So I asked Em (as soon as I saw her) what happened:-
Version of events E
Em states that she passed Jen and Loz [who were sitting somewhere downstairs], waved politely and Jen deliberately turned away - 'blank'ing her.
See studious ignorance.
Version of events J
Jen states You and Nay ignored us as soon as you got there and wouldn't even look us in the eye.
The only evidence I have from an independent source is from an SMS from Loz to Em, from the Sunday after the party: I told Jen not to say anything, wasn’t the time
Unfortunately, no-one except those involved can ever be sure what really happened.
From there, the party dissipated, with the birthday boy going to Fannys briefly, before joining those of us at the House of Sin.
But here's another point where stories differ:
Jen says: He [Benny] then said that he was going to your place and we were welcome because you had declared your house "neutral ground" for the night.
Benny, however, was Blissfully unaware... of any situation - and was also incredibly inebriated.
From my point of view, I was on my own when I received a call from Jen's phone - it was Loz, asking to be let in.
I declined, stating that I was aware Em did not want either of them in her home.
As such, Em was completely unaware they had been at the building at all, so accusations that she didn’t have the balls to do it herself are inaccurate.
The Aftermath
By now, those directly involved were fully aware of their opinions on the matter.
Em gave her version of events, Loz belatedly exited the situation and Jen stated her closure.
The only thing to do now is for everyone else to accept what's happened and move on with their lives. It should be more than obvious by now that this is/was not just a small disagreement between friends. Friendship[s] have been ended and none of the previously mentioned 'kiss and make up' posts will have the desired effect.
In fact - as far as I can see it - there's only one loose thread through all of this and that's between Loz and myself - and seeing as that hasn't been aired publicly to this point, I don't particulary want to be the person to make it public domain.
Hopefully - if nothing else - this has been helpful for anyone who's a friend of Em or Jen (or any voyeurs) to better understand what has transpired in the last fortnight.
It would be almost impossible to be unaware of the drama that's been going on lately.
To this point, I've tried to stay out of it, but am now finding it impossible to do so.
Unlike other posts, this won't be a brief 'please stop the fighting', but rather the most complete dissection of the situation that I can muster.
In fact, this will probably cover things that a lot of people aren't even aware are happening.
As such, I apologise in advance to anyone who didn't want their dirty laundry hung out for the world to see... but I need evidence, not just hearsay.
Also, there are certain things that are one person's word against another's... as such, this will turn into a very heated argument, of that I am sure.
So a warning to anyone who wants to comment: don't weigh in unless you're sure you can deal with the response you'll receive and are willing to continue.
It started in Em's Newcastle Gluten Free community - which was created to keep the topic out of her own journal ( better than whinging on my own journal...). As such, anyone reading - you would assume - is interested in that part of her life, not just a friend - such people would only read her magenta_babylon journal.
From there, the point was missed and ins ults quickly turned to threats. But it was very quickly easy to see that there were issues bigger than the current situation bubbling in the background, because comments like something else you made up to make us feel sorry for you?? don't come from nowhere.
Other people started offering their opinions but it seems to me that there was a lot of talking, but not much listening.
Even when the discussion could continue further, it seemed that people were more interested in closing doors than having a rational discussion argument on the matter.
By now, anyone who'd read along knew that there was trouble, but that's what it took a turn. It was taken into personal journals - involving 'the whole world' in the topic.
FYI there's a conversation on the topic that is worth a read - all perspectives in this matter require proper perusal.
Benny's 21st
And so, it was a big blow up, friendships were mortally wounded and 'everyone' was worried that there would be some sort of drama/confrontation/whatever at Benny's 21st.
This is where it becomes hard to reference and definitely become one person's word against another.
The major fact in dispute is who ignored who. I was not present at any interaction between Em and Jen, so do not really know, however, I do have some evidence.
You'll have to excuse that some of this is a personal account [but at least of that I can be sure I know what is fact] - and some proof referenced is from private conversations I had.
The first I noticed of anything was when Em was downstairs having a cigarette with Nay - I was upstairs and noticed Jen and Loz come into the room, giggling like schoolgirls. Of course, I had no idea exactly what had just transpired, but there can be no denying there had to have been something.
So I asked Em (as soon as I saw her) what happened:-
Version of events E
Em states that she passed Jen and Loz [who were sitting somewhere downstairs], waved politely and Jen deliberately turned away - 'blank'ing her.
See studious ignorance.
Version of events J
Jen states You and Nay ignored us as soon as you got there and wouldn't even look us in the eye.
The only evidence I have from an independent source is from an SMS from Loz to Em, from the Sunday after the party: I told Jen not to say anything, wasn’t the time
Unfortunately, no-one except those involved can ever be sure what really happened.
From there, the party dissipated, with the birthday boy going to Fannys briefly, before joining those of us at the House of Sin.
But here's another point where stories differ:
Jen says: He [Benny] then said that he was going to your place and we were welcome because you had declared your house "neutral ground" for the night.
Benny, however, was Blissfully unaware... of any situation - and was also incredibly inebriated.
From my point of view, I was on my own when I received a call from Jen's phone - it was Loz, asking to be let in.
I declined, stating that I was aware Em did not want either of them in her home.
As such, Em was completely unaware they had been at the building at all, so accusations that she didn’t have the balls to do it herself are inaccurate.
The Aftermath
By now, those directly involved were fully aware of their opinions on the matter.
Em gave her version of events, Loz belatedly exited the situation and Jen stated her closure.
The only thing to do now is for everyone else to accept what's happened and move on with their lives. It should be more than obvious by now that this is/was not just a small disagreement between friends. Friendship[s] have been ended and none of the previously mentioned 'kiss and make up' posts will have the desired effect.
In fact - as far as I can see it - there's only one loose thread through all of this and that's between Loz and myself - and seeing as that hasn't been aired publicly to this point, I don't particulary want to be the person to make it public domain.
Hopefully - if nothing else - this has been helpful for anyone who's a friend of Em or Jen (or any voyeurs) to better understand what has transpired in the last fortnight.