you were sent here (part 3)
Title: You Were Sent Here (For The Rescue) Part 3
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG 13
Pairings: Rachel/Quinn
Word Count: FF.net tells me 8800...I don't really believe it though.
Spoilers: Sort of for the Born This Way ep.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Summary: Everyone needs a little saving sometimes.
You Were Sent Here (For The Rescue)
Part 3
Quinn knows that the ball is in her court. Rachel has made overture after overture and is now gracefully giving her the space she needs. Except her presence isn't so easily forgotten. The blonde has gotten good at pinpointing where Rachel is at all times and most of the time, she's grateful. Rachel's presence is a constant, prominent reminder that she is never quite alone even if Quinn actively tries to avoid her as best as possible. It's hard though. They attend the same classes and are both apart of Glee.
The days go smoothly enough that avoiding each other goes pretty well. Although there are times when Quinn regrets ignoring Rachel when she wants to run in the middle of the night or just talk to someone who knows. Now though, Rachel consistently texts her instead with 'goodnight' or some variation of it every night, always with a short reminder that she was gorgeous.
Quinn should have known that smoothly does not last forever in high school.
The members of Glee are, surprisingly, working hard. Right now they're going through choreography for a number they plan to perform at Nationals when the quiet interlude tumbles to pieces. Everyone knows that Finn isn't the greatest dancer New Directions can offer but no one ever considers his moves dangerous till he swings his long arms to the side and accidentally whacks Rachel in the face, sending her careening into the floor.
Rachel clutches at her nose as Finn kneels beside her and apologizes profusely. The rest of them are clustered around the duo as Mr. Schuester makes his way up on the stage.
"I'm sorry," Finn mutters again as Mr. Schuester sends Rachel off to get her nose attended too. Quinn finds her feet attempting to follow the brunette to check if she is truly alright but she grits her teeth and plants her feet to the ground.
"We'll cut practice short today," Mr. Schuester announces. "Everybody get a good night of rest and we'll group back tomorrow."
Quinn sighs in relief. Running through the same thing over and over again becomes annoying after awhile. She debates momentarily if she wants to wait for Rachel but she doesn't know if the brunette went to the school's nurse or an actual doctor. Instead, Quinn shoots off a quick text asking her if she's okay as she drives home.
She doesn't receive an affirmative from Rachel.
The next time Glee comes together is in the choir room. Santana is delightfully tearing through everyone and their flaws which ranged from Sam's trouty mouth to Finn's odd pastry-like nipples and Rachel's huge Jewish nose.
"Guys!" Mr. Schuester suddenly interrupts. He doesn't like to see them - well, Santana - putting down her team mates. After all, they are all suppose to be friends.
"I'm just saying, if you don't like something about yourself, change it," Santana finishes.
Mr. Schuester begins a lecture that Quinn zones out after the first word. Contemplating whether or not she wants to pull out a book and begin reading, her favourite past time during idiotic moments in glee, but she ends up staring at the back of Rachel's head instead. Quinn saw the brunette when she first walked in and she couldn't help but think that the little band aid on her nose was adorable.
Eventually Mr. Schuester dismisses them and she's about to leave when a petite hand latches onto her arm.
"Quinn?" Rachel inquires in a timid voice.
She cocks an eyebrow and waits for her to speak.
"I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to the doctor?" Rachel asks and Quinn wonders where the confident girl who doesn't let the mean taunts and sneers get to her went. "I...My doctor has informed me that my broken nose could be used as an opportunity to get a rhinoplasty. It would help to improve my voice."
Quinn stares blankly at Rachel. The words Rachel and rhinoplasty do not compute in her mind.
"Did you just say you wanted a nose job?" Quinn asks, certain that she heard something else.
"Well, when you put it in such crass terms, it does sound horrible," Rachel admits. "But would you come with me anyways?"
Refusal is on the tip of her tongue but she remembers all the times Rachel has comes through for her and she knows she can't and won't refuse the sad look on Rachel's face.
"Sure," she agrees and Rachel smiles immediately.
"Excellent!" Rachel says enthusiastically. "I have an appointment in half an hour actually."
"I'll drive," Quinn offers.
The ride is made mostly in silence. Quinn knows she's spent a lot of years tormenting Rachel with the rest of the popular crowd. She takes out her anger and frustration on her peers, especially Rachel, although that has dissipated. But she never thought the brunette would be cowed or daunted by any of the taunts. Rachel is a determined star, one that shines above all of them.
They sit in a room waiting for Rachel's doctor, idly flipping through pages of different magazines. Quinn is eying Rachel out of the corner of her eye and sees a sad smile on Rachel's face. She knows that it has mostly been Rachel protecting her but with that look on the brunette's face, Quinn finds herself wanting to protect the other girl.
"So what's it like?" Rachel begins tentatively. "Looking like you look."
Quinn lowers the magazine. She wants to sprout all the lies that she's fluent with but this is Rachel and she owns it to the girl to be truthful, if nothing else.
"Being a hot seventeen year old you can basically get away with anything you want," Quinn replies slowly, suddenly uncertain. There's a part of her that wants to take Rachel down a notch but there's a softer, gentler Quinn inside her somewhere that actually cares for Rachel. A part that understands what Rachel is going through. "But sometimes that's all people ever see you as. A pretty face."
Rachel's about to reply when her doctor walks in and the both of them stand up.
"So are you ready to go ahead with the procedure?" he asks, looking at the folder in his hands.
"I was actually hoping if I could see what I would look like after the surgery," Rachel replies. "Before I jump the gun," she turns slightly. "This is my friend Quinn. I want to get her nose. Is that possible?"
The blonde glances at Rachel in surprise. Quinn thought the brunette had brought her here as moral support, not to use her nose although she is flattered.
The doctor glances at Quinn. "Of course, we'll take a few pictures."
Quinn wants to protests but she stands up dutifully in front of the camera while Rachel sits in a chair off to the side slightly. The look in Rachel's eyes isn't something she can refuse (there's something utterly pathetic about the sad and uncertain look in her eyes, it's like trying to refuse a puppy) and she knows that this is something the brunette has to do (or at least see the result of and contemplate because Quinn would not let Rachel get a nose job).
They sit beside each other the pictures are taken and the lines are drawn and the nurses have retreated away to make the final imagery. Quinn eyes Rachel out of the corner of her eye before she tentatively lets her hand rest on Rachel's thigh.
"You know you don't have to do this," Quinn whispers. She doesn't want Rachel to go down the road she chose.
Rachel shrugs halfheartedly.
Quinn is replaying all those moments when she attempted and successfully kicked Rachel off that high ladder of hers and she curses every single moment that her own insecurity caused her to lash out at the girl who didn't care. She doesn't try again as the doctor comes out with the pictures. Quinn knows all too well what it's like to want to have a fragile image of perfection.
Born This Way is scribbled across the white board when they enter for Glee the next day.
"We're going to do a tribute to the Queen of Self-Acceptance," Mr. Schuester says with a smile. "Gaga."
He's tired of all the put downs and drama that runs rampant in Glee. He understands that they are all teenagers and that's what they did as kids but sometimes it was frustrating. They need to be a team to win and Nationals isn't all that far off.
Quinn is mildly expecting to Rachel to approach her after Glee and the brunette does not disappoint.
"Quinn?" she asks tentatively. Rachel is still acting like a beaten down puppy and it throws Quinn in a loop. "Would you like to sing a duet with me for this assignment?"
Quinn tries to remember that before all this went down, she was trying to keep Rachel at arm's length but it's hard to remember sometimes. The two of them bond and Quinn reckons she's closer to Rachel than to Brittany or Santana. She enjoys, far too much, spending time with Rachel. The silence stretches on.
"I'd understand if you wouldn't but..." Rachel trails off with a wounded look when Quinn doesn't reply.
"Okay."
"Okay?" Rachel asks, stupefied. She's already made a speech to convince Quinn that working together would be more productive while listening to Mr. Schuester. Given a little more time, she could even have a power point presentation ready.
"Yes," Quinn nods slowly. "Okay."
"Okay?" Rachel asks, again. "That's all you have to say?"
"Yes," Quinn replies because she knows she's letting herself get knee deep in Rachel again and she tries to find a reason to care (her father, her mother, her parents demented and twisted idea of perfection) but like Rachel does all the time, she tries to throw caution to the wind. This is Rachel. Rachel needs her like Quinn needs Rachel. A friend in the dark.
Rachel huffs in reply. "Fine. We'll decide everything tonight at my house. Six o'clock."
Quinn shows up at Rachel's at six sharply. She knows without a doubt that Rachel will give her a long-winded lecture if she dares to show up even a second late. The adorableness factor of it would have entertained her but she feels tired and wants to get this over with.
Somehow in the short time since she last saw the brunette, Rachel has already decided on a mash-up of two songs. Reading over the lyrics, a small smile forms on Quinn's face. The song is perfect and Rachel is in her zone as she coaches Quinn on the stumbles she makes as she sings through the song the first time. They practice for a little while before Rachel is satisfied and they just lie on the brunette's bed.
It's silent and Quinn is hard pressed to want to break the comfortable silence but this is something she needs to say. Everyone is lost by Rachel's announcement of wanting a nose job but she's not. She has her faults, her problems and Rachel has hers and although Rachel hides the small flicker of hurt well when McKinley's popular crowd jeer and taunt, Quinn sees it because she sees it in her own eyes.
"Don't get the nose job," Quinn rushes out before she can lose her nerve.
"Why?" Rachel demands. She's been bothered by everyone else in Glee and here in the safe haven of her room, does not want another intervention. "It will make me more acceptable to the school's norms."
"When has Rachel Berry ever wanted to be acceptable?" Quinn scoffs in response.
There's a pause and Quinn has hit a nerve without realizing.
"Rachel," Quinn tries again. Her hand tentatively links with the brunette's who doesn't refuse her. They're sprawled on the bed. Both too far from each other yet too close at the same time. Quinn tilts Rachel's head so hazel ones and meet brown. "You are beautiful and unique. There's no reason for you to fall to peer pressure. You're a star, Rachel. Stars change but they change on their pace. The Rachel I know would never want this."
Rachel doesn't reply to her and Quinn sighs.
"I think you're beautiful," Quinn finds it funny that she's saying this. It's odd, the motley crew they are, the self-worth issues they all have and struggle with - even if they come about from different reasons. "I don't think you should get this nose job because that nose? It makes you unique and I love it." I like you.
"I think you're pretty too," Rachel finally replies. Quinn knows this already, the brunette tells her at every chance she can but it's weird to hear Quinn say it to her. The blond isn't sure if this is an admission from Rachel. Is it a yes or no?
Then again, maybe it's never black and white.
"If...if I don't get the surgery, do you think you could try too?" Rachel asks. She tucks a stray piece of hair behind Quinn's ear and the blond is only mildly surprised by the intimate gesture. Rachel doesn't say it but Quinn understands that the brunette wants her to feel better about herself. "I think you're perfect the way you are and I don't think anyone treats you well enough."
The blonde opens her mouth to deny this fact but she knows it's pointless. So instead of denying, she tries for another diversion tactic. "And when I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change 'cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are," she sings softly. She feels certain that singing will distract Rachel and it does. The two of them burst into a impromptu karaoke night in bed till they're both giggling and exhausted.
Rachel is snuggling up to her and Quinn's eyes are drooping and she's about a second away from dream land when Rachel speaks.
"Promise?"
Quinn expects, even in her half asleep state, something long and verbose but when that is all she receives, she knows this is serious or Rachel is just too tired. But Quinn isn't fond of keeping her promises - not because she doesn't want too, things just never turn out her way and she doesn't want to be the one to break a promise to the brunette although Rachel will have to expect lots of let downs on her way to stardom. Quinn doesn't want to be one to have to toughen the girl up, even if she's done a lot of it already.
So she stays silent and pretends she fell asleep already.
Quinn goes over to Rachel a few more nights to practice the mash-up of the two songs they've done. She figures by now Rachel would have attempted to talk to her about but she hasn't. Then again, perhaps this is Rachel's way of telling her that she won't push.
They sing I Feel Pretty/Unpretty the next day.
They both sit atop of stools and Rachel keeps sending her tentative glances throughout the song and Quinn sends reassuring looks back at her. She might not be able to promise Rachel to believe in herself but she protects her friends (even if most of her friends are sometimes her enemies too).
At the end of the performance, Rachel looks towards her while everyone claps and Quinn can't help but smile and mouth, "You did fantastic."
The tentative smile on Rachel's face grows wider and a part of her feels triumphant that it's her and not Finn that put that smile there.
Rachel calls Quinn up later to inform her that she won't be partaking in the surgery.
Quinn doesn't know why she feels so relieved.
The two of them are hanging out at Rachel's house on Friday night watching some sappy movie when someone knocks on the door. Rachel shifts to get it but Quinn stops her with a hand on her arm and a soft smile.
"I'll get it," she says before she goes to open the door and is face to face with...Puck and well, everyone else from Glee.
"I've brought the beer," Puck says, lifting up the case of alcohol. He doesn't even blink twice at the fact that Quinn is over at Rachel's."I think it's time we celebrate that Rachel is once again proud of her Jewishness."
"Puck," she scolds, blocking them from entering.
"Look, I know her dads aren't home," Puck tries again. "Plus, it's not like you two are doing anything - unless you were," he surveys her up and down, as if looking for sex hair or some evidence of them fooling around. "Then I'd be happy to just sit around and watch you continue."
"Puck," she scolds louder and she hears soft-padded feet approach from behind.
"Who is it, Quinn?" Rachel asks before she gets to door and sees who it is. The blonde steps back slightly so the shorter girl can see and Puck - and the rest of them - take it as an invitation to walk in.
"Hey!" Quinn shouts, more offended than Rachel seems to be.
"Oh chill, Q," Santana rolls her eyes. "You should be grateful we're bringing the party to you two losers."
"I'm not grateful," Quinn tosses back and she looks towards to Rachel to see how she's reacting to it. Quinn smiles at the brunette and shrugs helplessly and Rachel lets out a loud laugh and it feels good to hear the brunette laugh. Chances were, they wouldn't be able to get rid of them now that they had come in and Rachel's dads weren't going to be back till Sunday. If you couldn't beat them, than join them.
Besides, it was nice. Even if Puck only wants to have an excuse to party. Away from school, these were the times that she liked best. They were all just friends - no slushies (just mild insults) or social status to screw it up. They're all just friends who want to have a good time. Quinn avoids the alcohol because it reminds her too much of her dad and her mom and she tries to remember that none of her friends would hurt her. The whole night is spent indulging her friends - well, mostly Rachel because that girl is one adorable drunk and Rachel really needs a fun time where she isn't being judged by her peers.
"Honey," her mother greets when she arrives home after a day of school.
"Hi Mom," Quinn tilts her head to the side and tries not to wrinkle her nose in distaste at the smell of alcohol on her mother's breath and the glass being held precariously between her mother's fingers.
"Oh dear," Judy coos. "How was your day?"
"Good," she replies shortly.
Quinn's feet creep towards the stairs, towards freedom and the silence. Silence that she relishes but at the same time hates because it's a stark contrast to what she once had. Brittany and Santana use to accompany her and they would chatter and paint their nails and she wonders when they all began to separate from each other. Quinn hates being alone, she hates knowing that she put herself in this position, isolated and alienated. She hates that the walls of Castle Quinn tower higher than anyone can bother to climb (except Rachel, all roads lead back to Rachel apparently).
"So where is that Finn boy?" Judy asks. "I haven't seen him around in awhile."
Finn. A flicker of guilt flashes across her face for a second before disappearing. She's been neglecting her boyfriend for awhile now in exchange for Rachel. Her shoulders rise and fall in a shrug.
"Your father is always so proud to see his little girl finding such a good man."
"Yeah," Quinn whispers softly, eyes brimming with tears now. "Finn's great." And she's playing him for a fool.
"Darling," her mother's concerned voice is right beside her now, alcoholic breath and all. "Why are you crying?"
She recoils. Alcohol is now something she associates with being hurt and stupid mistakes.
"Never mind," Quinn shakes her head and bolts upstairs, wishing she would hear footsteps following her but all she receives is the clink of bottle against glass.
Finn is a constant reminder of the distorted perception of a picture perfect life her parents have planned out for her the minute she slipped out of the womb. Although they might be unintentional in their wants, they want to ground her here in Lima as another failure, underneath their overbearing figures. She doesn't want to have to blow away her hopes and dreams in alcohol and be unhappy with her marriage.
Curling up in her bed, she breathes in deeply. Just a couple deep breathes and she can pull it all together again. But sometimes, she doesn't want too.
Quinn wants to run, she wants to be free.
But staring at her shaking hands, feeling the burn of tears against her cheeks, she's not sure she'll ever make it that far away. That's why she can't promise Rachel. The bruises are a constant reminder of her failures, her false smiles a continued acknowledgement of the lies. Everything leads back to him.
She's just another Lima loser, born, raised and destined to nothing.
The tears fall harder as she furiously wipes them away with the sleeve of her shirt.
Breathe in. Breathe out. She can pull it together, she's a Fabray.
Fabrays are strong. Fabrays are stoic.
Sometimes she hates being a Fabray.
Quinn wants to give up but Rachel, out of all people, believes she can make it. Rachel always fought with her, told her she's pretty and believes in her. In turn, Quinn believes in her as well and gives the occasional push. One day, that girl will be up on the big stage and nothing will keep her from it. She'll make sure of that fact.
No, no, she can't just give up like this. Rachel believes she can make it. Rachel always believes in her and although she doesn't show it, she believes in Rachel too. One day that girl will be up on the big stage and nothing will keep her from leaving once graduation comes.
At the same time though, she hopes that Rachel doesn't get out because she doesn't know if she could survive by herself. Dependency isn't something she needs but if there's one person she could depend on, it's Rachel.
Quinn's head shoots up with wariness when she hears the front door slam shut. Alert with a clarity born from fear, she slides underneath the covers of her bed, foregoing shedding her garments.
Her eyes slide close and she prays, prays to a God she wishes still listened.
Later, it's with shaking fingers that she calls Rachel yet again. Not Finn, not Santana or Brittany. Not even Puck, the resident play boy that has a soft spot for her. It makes her laugh, seeing how things turned out, considering all she did was torture the brunette.
The phone rings once, twice, three times and Rachel's sweet, glorious voice murmurs a sleepy hello.
"Come pick me up?" she whispers softly, not bothering to hide her sobs now that her parents are gone and she is broken again.
"Always Quinn," Rachel murmurs sleepily. "Always."
Rachel's car pulls up outside the Fabray household silently. Her eyes watch the darkness for any signs of an approaching blond and every moment is agony as she waits for Quinn's arrival. Minutes tick by and she contemplates calling when she sees a figure limping their way stiffly towards her. The door swings open and Quinn seats herself slowly.
Rachel waits for the door close before she starts driving.
"Thanks," Quinn starts, means to say something else but the words escape her.
The ride is made in silence as Rachel tries to process how much worse Quinn looks tonight than the last time she called, which now that she thought about it, had been several weeks ago. When they're both going through a routine they are both familiar with now, Rachel stops Quinn from entering the washroom.
"You need to go to the hospital," Rachel states firmly, eyes brooking no argument.
"I'll be fine," Quinn says weakly and attempts to move past the brunette who refuses to let her just go. "I just need to get cleaned up."
"I know you will tell everyone else that you fell and you'll convince yourself that you did but I wish you would stop lying to yourself," Rachel tries not to shout, to not panic and let all the emotions and tears override everything else but her voice falls into a broken whisper. "Stop lying to me."
Quinn stares at Rachel with uncomprehending eyes. That look doesn't fit the brunette. The broken and tired look. Looking away, she shuffles around on the spot. She's suppose to be the broken one, it's her role but this is a startling reminder to when Rachel did show her vulnerabilities instead of hiding it underneath unending cheerfulness. She hates it.
Suddenly, the brunette is crying and Quinn doesn't know what to do. Never has she been good with emotions unless it's about hiding them. That's why she got along so well with Santana.
"I don't want you to get hurt anymore."
Quinn releases a shaky breath and has a feeling this won't be the last time she caves to Rachel because the brunette is sad.
"I'll go to the hospital, tomorrow, alright?" she swallows nervously. The hospital has always been forbidden. "But...for tonight can you just let me get cleaned up and," she pauses and swallows the lump in her throat. "Can you just lie with me?"
Rachel hugs Quinn gingerly and the blonde is startled for a moment by the contact before she lets her own arms wrap around her friend gently.
"Always," Rachel whispers in Quinn's ear, her breath tickling the blonde's neck and making her shiver.
Quinn finds herself falling for Rachel (she's already fallen).
She finds herself not caring for a heartbeat.
She finds herself terrified in the next.
Quinn squirms around in the chair, trying not to make an audible sound when she moves a certain way that she shouldn't have because it pains her. They're sitting in the waiting room of a youth clinic an hour drive away. The urge to run is constant and hard to fight because getting help is so many levels of wrong to her and her dad wouldn't be happy. She's a second away from standing up abruptly and walking away when a hand that belongs to Rachel rests itself comfortably on her knee in an attempt to calm her down but she know it's futile. She's nervous and jittery and bouncing in her seat and although she's attending to her injuries (mostly for Rachel's benefit) because they're killing her, she's not willing to admit who put them there because words ingrained into her tell her that she deserves every single punch, kick and blow.
After all, parents know best.
"Don't worry," Rachel says. "I'm sure they'll be discreet since they probably cater to a lot of...troubled youth."
Quinn eyes Rachel and wonders whether or not to put her trust in the brunette. "I hope so," she mutters out finally. "For your sake," she says playfully before she grows serious. "And mine."
Rachel scoffs derisively. "What are you going to do?" she jokes lightly. It's easier to joke with Quinn than to think of the consequences if her parents found out what they're doing.
Quinn doesn't know how to reply to that comment but she's saved from it when the nurse comes along.
"Quinn Fabray?" the nurse ask.
"That's me," Quinn responds.
"Right. If you'll just follow me, I have to take a few quick tests before the doctor sees you."
The nurse measures her height and weight and asks her a few questions before she's sent back to sit beside Rachel.
"So what do you want to do tonight?" Rachel asks. "I mean, if you can't think of something to do, I'm sure we could have fun working on your vocals - we all have to be tip top form for Nationals after all."
"We'll sweep them away at Nationals," Quinn reassures even if she's not so certain but they'll be in New York. Freedom is so close yet so far.
"Yes, but it doesn't hurt to be over prepared."
"You'll sweep them away at Nationals."
Rachel laughs but she tenses. "That's kind of you to say Quinn."
"I'm only saying the truth."
"So what do you want to do today?" Rachel changes the subject easily and Quinn lets it be changed. They both have skeletons and she can let it go.
"We could watch Kung Fu Panda or something," Quinn shrugs. It doesn't matter to her what they're doing because she'll be with Rachel.
"Excellent!" Rachel bursts into a long-winded speech about how adorable the animals in Kung Fu Panda are, especially the panda. But how she didn't condone violence solving anything.
"Quinn Fabray? The doctor is ready to see you."
The blonde stands and tugs nervously at the bottom of her shirt for a moment. Talking to Rachel made her forget that she's petrified but now that the time has come, she's ready to reconsider and run again.
"Do you want me to come in, Quinn?"
A small, genuine smile spreads over the blonde's lips. "I'd like it if you did."
The doctor enters the room moments after the two of them are seated; his eyes glued to a clipboard with a chart on it.
"So which one of you girls is Ms. Fabray?" he asks when he finally looks up, adjusting his glasses.
"That would be me."
"Right, well I'm Kenneth. What can I help you with today, Quinn?"
"Well, um," her eyes stray to Rachel who smiles encouragingly. "I slipped in the shower a couple of days ago. I think I hit several things on my fall down actually. My arm feels a little off if I turn it a certain way and well...I sort of struggle to breath."
The doctor nods his head in understanding and approaches after settling the clipboard on the desk. "You should have gotten assistance earlier. Something could have happened over the course of the past few days to worsen it. Nothing is broken though, is it?"
Quinn shakes her head no - except maybe her rib, yet again but at least it didn't puncture anything vital and she's still alive. She blanches when she realizes that some part of her craves the easy way out that death would give her.
Rachel's concerned eyes are looking at her and she feels like her secrets are all laid out on the table.
The doctor's hands press lightly over the places where Quinn points out she thinks are hurt. There's a few cuts as well but nothing too bad (she's use to pulling out glass with tweezers by herself). She bites her lip to prevent the whimper from coming out when he presses his hand against her ribs.
"Does that hurt?"
"Yeah," she breathes out in a whisper.
"Right, we'll have to do some scans on you," he says pulling his hands away. "But I believe nothing important has been damaged considering you're still alive."
"No really?" she breathes underneath her breath when he turns away. It's a defense mechanism.
Beside them, Rachel releases a sigh full of relief. Not that she thinks Quinn was ever potentially going to die. Her body just happens to hum with anger at the thought of any injury on the blonde.
A nurse goes away to help Quinn take an x-ray and the doctor turns on Rachel.
"Did she really bruise her rib in the shower?" he asks.
Rachel nods. Not too fervently like she's determined to prove that as truth and protect Quinn. This is just time for her to practice her acting skills.
Kenneth shakes her head as if she doesn't believe her but seems to take their story in stride. "This is a youth clinic and we are happy to offer our services and help Quinn if she is in any situation-"
"Rest assured," Rachel interrupts. "If Quinn is ever in trouble, you will be the first I come too."
"Alright," he agrees amiably enough and steps off. For now. "I'll be back in a few moments."
Afterwards, Rachel drives them back to her place for the movie night the two agreed on earlier. While Rachel does enjoy spending time with Quinn, she's really using this as an excuse to keep the other girl out of her house longer. A temporary solution that she doubts will work forever but for now, it is better than nothing.
Besides forever for a teenager is only a few days.
Rachel tries not to dwell on how morbid that seems and how it makes her think of her relationship with Finn.
They cuddle against each other naturally as Rachel talks enthusiastically through the movie and Quinn can't find the heart to tell the girl to shut up. They've both watch Kung Fu Panda before (the Berrys are total movie freaks and not just Broadway ones) so it's not like she's missing out on much.
All of a sudden, Rachel has stopped talking though and is staring at he intently. Brown eyes on her with a softness and gentleness that Quinn can't quite comprehend (it's not something she sees often from anyone).
"What?" Quinn asks, self-consciously, thinking something is wrong.
"Your eyes are gorgeous," Rachel murmurs softly, shyly, a blush on he cheeks before she turns away.
And just like that, the connection is broken and Quinn is left staring at Rachel's cheek for a silent, agonizing moment before the brunette bursts out in laughter at something going on in the movie. She's not paying attention anymore, not even pretending she's paying attention because she's too busy studying Rachel.
Rachel's left he stunned and she can't figure out why. The two of them compliment each other often because they're friends now and that's not unusual. They're suppose to be nice to each other but something in that moment...
Later she thinks about how that's the first compliment she's received that she believes in, truly believes in.
That's definitely not the last night they spend together. There's always something for the two of them to do from Glee club to vocal lessons, to bowling accompanied by dinner at various restaurants meant to expand their palate. It's just something that's theirs and although their friends mock them, they brush it off with ease. Rachel more easily than Quinn.
Not that Quinn disagrees with this new arrangement. She loves Rac - she loves this.
She loves this new-found safe relationship - friendship - so much that it hardly fazes her anymore when she spins excuse after excuse for her boyfriend. As charming and sweet, albeit a little inept as Finn is, she know she's not in love with anymore. Finn is arm candy, someone to hang off her arm for popularity sakes. It's just a bonus that he never pressures her for more.
Still, she can't keep up facades anymore.
"Finn?" she calls after the tall and goofy footballer that shoots her a dopey smile as he walks by with Mike.
"Yeah?" he asks, turning around. Mike smiles at Quinn once before leaving the lovebirds alone.
"I," she starts then stops. "Can we talk somewhere more private?"
Finn's forehead creases but he nods his head and catches her hand in his as they walk into an empty classroom. Here in high school, it's a vicious life and any scraps of gossip that can bring down a power couple will be used against them. Not that there will be a power couple to bring down in a few minutes.
She tries to stifle the urge to pull her hand out of his. It feels different, bigger and not the same as smooth skin and a petite hand.
Once they're carefully tucked away, Quinn tugs he hand out of Finn's grasp. Nervously, she tries to smile but ends up with more of a grimace.
"I'm breaking up with you, Finn," she states in a rush. It's easier to peel off the band aid faster instead of bit by bit.
It takes a couple of minutes for Finn to process what Quinn just said and he gaps at her.
"Why?" he asks in a strangled voice.
Quinn turns away. She knows that Finn deserves an answer but even she doesn't have any answers to her own questions. Swallowing the lump that forms in her throat, she tries to push words around it as she turns back around to face him.
"You're a great guy, Finn," she says. "It's just...you're not the one I want."
He stares at her with those big, stupid, dopey eyes of his and she can't stand staring at him any longer.
"There's someone else isn't there?" he accuses and she wonders how he can be so intuitive but so idiotic...unique at the same time. Sort of like Brittany, if she thinks about it.
"No," Quinn shakes her head. Not a lie.
"Alright," Finn replies in a defeated tone. He hasn't had her for awhile. Scratching the back of his head awkwardly, the two of them stand around, not quite looking at each other before he mutters something and darts out of the room.
She breathes a sigh of relief when he does. Being around him is a stifling reminder that Finn probably won't get any father than her father and mother did and the thought of being just like her mother hurts more than anything else.
Quinn is about to curl into a little ball and quietly contemplate where she's going in life when there's a crash outside of the classroom. Realizing that staying at school probably isn't the best idea, she moves to leave, hating that the first place to pop into her mind is Rachel's house. Shouldn't her house feel like a home to her too?
The blonde exits the classroom and looks from side to side, checking where the noise came from and whether or not it has distracted everybody enough that she can sneak out without anybody noticing her disheartened expression. What she's confronted with though, she doesn't expect.
"It's for the best," Rachel says to Finn. She has her back to Quinn.
"How is it for the best?" Finn whispers hotly to Rachel. Anger that he didn't show Quinn is being bared for Rachel. "She's been cheating on me! I can see it in her eyes."
Quinn, briefly, wonders if Finn thinks if her hazel eyes are beautiful like Rachel does.
"Then fight for her," Rachel states as if it's the most simple thing in the world.
Finn stares at her dumb struck. He expects Rachel to take his side and comfort him. Maybe for them to strike up a relationship again. Not to...do whatever it is she's doing.
"Because mark my words, Finn Hudson," Rachel pokes a finger into his chest. "I am fully prepared to fight for Quinn's affections because she is a beautiful girl and she deserves someone who treats her right."
"Are you saying I don't?" Finn asks, disbelief colouring his tone.
Rachel shrugs in response. "Sometimes, I wonder what I saw in you."
Finn is flustered because he's only just realized how many curious eyes this debacle has attracted and how he's been show up by the little brunette.
"It's not like Quinn can ever love you anyways, you're a girl," he snaps bitingly before he stomps off.
A worried expression crosses Rachel's face but she refuses to say anything in response.
Dinner starts out typical enough at the Berry household. Rachel's fathers are both attentive as she rambles on about her day and Quinn. They eat the the food that Hiram has cooked since he was the one home first and Rachel can only bake.
The three of them are going about eating their sundaes when Leroy interrupts the spiel Rachel is on.
"So...about this nightly disappearances."
Rachel is thrown off guard for a moment. Her parents don't generally stop her in the middle of her rambles and never to bring up this. They've never talked about it actually. She didn't think her parents knew even. Her parents trust her and she's never broken that trust before.
"What about them?" she asks cautiously.
"We," Leroy glances at his husband, "trust you. However, we'd like to be informed of your whereabouts."
"And why Quinn always shows up after," Hiram interjects.
"Sometimes Quinn wants to go for midnight snack runs and sneaking out is hard enough for her, she doesn't want to bother sneaking back in afterwards," Rachel lies, easily. She does that a lot for Quinn.
"Why can't Quinn eat something from her fridge?"
"Because her father doesn't let her stock the fridge with what she wants to eat."
Rachel feels like she's being interrogated.
"We're worried, Rachel," Leroy sighs. "You disappear all the time and although we live in a tiny town, bad things can happen."
She almost laughs because bad things do certainly happen.
"If something is going on," Hiram continues, "you can tell us. We're your dads, we care about you."
"That and if you don't tell us, we forbid you from leaving in the middle of the night again," Leroy threatens.
Rachel swallows. She's sure she could sneak out but if she brings back Quinn again, they'll ban Quinn from coming over and that leaves the blonde more susceptible to be harmed.
"It's Quinn," she blurts out. "Her dad is abusing her."
Leroy frowns and Hiram gasps.
"How long?" Leroy finally asks.
"Awhile," Rachel admits. She doesn't know how long.
"Quinn needs help," Leroy lectures. "Why haven't you told someone?"
"Because Quinn trusts me to keep her secret.," Rachel responds quietly. "I don't want to lose her but I don't want her to be hurt either and this has been eating me up forever. I'm so scared for her. Sometimes she's here and sometimes she's not and I wonder if she's ever going to just disappear and I don't know what to do and -"
Hiram wraps Rachel in a hug, shushing her. Rachel's crying.
"She's welcome to stay here," Hiram offers.
"I'm going to kill that man," Leroy mutters underneath his breath but Hiram shoots him a warning look.
"We can call the police," Hiram offers tentatively to Rachel. "Quinn will be okay."
Rachel shakes her head furiously. "I'll lose her."
"But you'll be making sure she's okay."
The brunette laughs bitterly. She wants to do what is best for Quinn, truly, but at the same time she's also incredibly selfish. She wants to put Quinn in front of her wants, she really does.
"Can we wait a little longer?" Rachel manages to choke out eventually. "I...just."
"We understand," Hiram responds although Leroy still looks like he might want to murder Russell. "You come to us if she ever needs anything. We're here for the both of you."
"Thanks Daddy," she smiles into his shirt and Leroy loses the murderous glare as he approaches the two and wraps his long arms around them as well.
The blows of the attacks don't startle her as much as they use to anymore. She knows how to swing her head to try and keep the force of the punches to a minimum while she fervently protects her ribs, fearful that another harsh injury will be the one that ends her (she's been playing on the edge forever, close to tipping but missing the catalyst). Russell's stormy features are not unusual. It starts with a careless mistake she makes as she reaches awkwardly to clear his plate first after dinner and spills his drink on the pristine table cloth.
Innocence is something the Fabray family lacks.
A heartbeat.
And then his rage is the first thing to react.
Quinn hates this...this indescribable hopelessness. This weakness and inability to stand up and fight for her rights as a human being when her father storms through her like a hurricane. He doesn't care enough to pick up the pieces left behind. Money is good around the house, her father works five days a week but there is always something wrong. His boss is horrible and he's praying for a promotion and his daughter is useless.
She hates that she automatically bows her head and takes the rage, hates the fact she doesn't bother to run out through the front doors and never come back because some part of her still cares for her mom. But sometimes, sometimes she doesn't want to care anymore. She wants to be cared for.
She hates how her hand automatically searches for he phone afterwards when she's alone in her room, aching and covered in fresh bruises. She hates that her traitorous fingers have memorized the actions to get her to to the one person that will not judge her, will not push her but just love her.
Quinn hates Rachel Barbara Berry.
But she loves her too. And it sickens her because she's a good Christian girl and they don't think about their fiends in that way.
"Rach?" her voice shakes. She can't recognize herself in the aftermath of the storm and wonders how anyone could ever be fooled.
"I'm on my way," her voice is ethereal, whisper soft and immediately Quinn feels her body relax.
She hears the brunette breathing and before the dial tone can enter the conversation, she speaks again. "This," she chokes out, stops for a moment as the feelings overwhelm her. This decision will make or break her. "This is the last time."
"Last time?" Rachel asks with a hint of fear in voice as she hurries out of the house. She talks to Quinn about everything but suicide has never come up. Rachel doesn't want to contemplate if this is a final goodbye Quinn is talking about.
"I'm," she murmurs as she struggles to stand up and shove things into her duffel bag. "I'm not coming back."
She's a shaking mess when Rachel comes. Not just from the cold but from her nerves. The thought of what she's doing frightens her. Quinn knows that by walking away, her father will disown her. This house will never be a home again, it hasn't in awhile. Chances are, if he does let her back in, it will be with a severe welcome back beating. Her flesh aches at the thought.
Quinn slides into Rachel's car like normal but she's not prepared for those arms that snake around her and the shuddering sob she lets loose. Being in Rachel's arms is comforting and warm and she feels safe. They never talk about this problem that she faces but Rachel has always known.
Rachel might always be stoic when it comes to these nightly pick ups, never pushing and just there but she out of everyone knows. It's better than anything the man in the sky has ever offered her because if someone up there really cares, why is she sporting her own battle wounds? Why are things so unfair?
The words slip from her before she knows what's happening.
"I love you," she rasps hoarsely.
A beat.
The brunette's arms tighten around her for a moment, painful against her newly battered skin but it's pleasurable pain. Rachel draws back so that their eyes can meet.
"I love you too."
Their hands intertwine themselves, the space between their hands perfect for the other. Together, they drive away into a night filled with unknown and fearfulness. A night filled with turmoil and emotions and pain. But Quinn keeps hope and faith because Rachel is the light at the end of the tunnel and she tightens her grip on the brunette's hand. She can be the light at the end of Rachel's tunnel. They don't talk about it but they're both broken in their own ways. Both so feaful of so many things.
But it's alright because Rachel Berry always has some semblance to a plan to take care of her and Quinn believes in Rachel.
"I promise," Quinn breathes out suddenly.
"Hm?" Rachel hums, eyes on the road.
She recalls the faint memory from weeks ago. Quinn knows she has self worth issues. A lot of girls at McKinley do because society has taken a knife and carved out their confidence, slowly but surely. All of them so afraid to be liked for who they truly were instead of the mask they put up for everyone. Her parents have definitely helped out along the way.
"I promise," Quinn states firmly. "I'll try."
Rachel smiles a little. "So will I."
So sorry that it took so long to get this out. The next update will hopefully swing by this week :) R&R.
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG 13
Pairings: Rachel/Quinn
Word Count: FF.net tells me 8800...I don't really believe it though.
Spoilers: Sort of for the Born This Way ep.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Summary: Everyone needs a little saving sometimes.
You Were Sent Here (For The Rescue)
Part 3
Quinn knows that the ball is in her court. Rachel has made overture after overture and is now gracefully giving her the space she needs. Except her presence isn't so easily forgotten. The blonde has gotten good at pinpointing where Rachel is at all times and most of the time, she's grateful. Rachel's presence is a constant, prominent reminder that she is never quite alone even if Quinn actively tries to avoid her as best as possible. It's hard though. They attend the same classes and are both apart of Glee.
The days go smoothly enough that avoiding each other goes pretty well. Although there are times when Quinn regrets ignoring Rachel when she wants to run in the middle of the night or just talk to someone who knows. Now though, Rachel consistently texts her instead with 'goodnight' or some variation of it every night, always with a short reminder that she was gorgeous.
Quinn should have known that smoothly does not last forever in high school.
The members of Glee are, surprisingly, working hard. Right now they're going through choreography for a number they plan to perform at Nationals when the quiet interlude tumbles to pieces. Everyone knows that Finn isn't the greatest dancer New Directions can offer but no one ever considers his moves dangerous till he swings his long arms to the side and accidentally whacks Rachel in the face, sending her careening into the floor.
Rachel clutches at her nose as Finn kneels beside her and apologizes profusely. The rest of them are clustered around the duo as Mr. Schuester makes his way up on the stage.
"I'm sorry," Finn mutters again as Mr. Schuester sends Rachel off to get her nose attended too. Quinn finds her feet attempting to follow the brunette to check if she is truly alright but she grits her teeth and plants her feet to the ground.
"We'll cut practice short today," Mr. Schuester announces. "Everybody get a good night of rest and we'll group back tomorrow."
Quinn sighs in relief. Running through the same thing over and over again becomes annoying after awhile. She debates momentarily if she wants to wait for Rachel but she doesn't know if the brunette went to the school's nurse or an actual doctor. Instead, Quinn shoots off a quick text asking her if she's okay as she drives home.
She doesn't receive an affirmative from Rachel.
The next time Glee comes together is in the choir room. Santana is delightfully tearing through everyone and their flaws which ranged from Sam's trouty mouth to Finn's odd pastry-like nipples and Rachel's huge Jewish nose.
"Guys!" Mr. Schuester suddenly interrupts. He doesn't like to see them - well, Santana - putting down her team mates. After all, they are all suppose to be friends.
"I'm just saying, if you don't like something about yourself, change it," Santana finishes.
Mr. Schuester begins a lecture that Quinn zones out after the first word. Contemplating whether or not she wants to pull out a book and begin reading, her favourite past time during idiotic moments in glee, but she ends up staring at the back of Rachel's head instead. Quinn saw the brunette when she first walked in and she couldn't help but think that the little band aid on her nose was adorable.
Eventually Mr. Schuester dismisses them and she's about to leave when a petite hand latches onto her arm.
"Quinn?" Rachel inquires in a timid voice.
She cocks an eyebrow and waits for her to speak.
"I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to the doctor?" Rachel asks and Quinn wonders where the confident girl who doesn't let the mean taunts and sneers get to her went. "I...My doctor has informed me that my broken nose could be used as an opportunity to get a rhinoplasty. It would help to improve my voice."
Quinn stares blankly at Rachel. The words Rachel and rhinoplasty do not compute in her mind.
"Did you just say you wanted a nose job?" Quinn asks, certain that she heard something else.
"Well, when you put it in such crass terms, it does sound horrible," Rachel admits. "But would you come with me anyways?"
Refusal is on the tip of her tongue but she remembers all the times Rachel has comes through for her and she knows she can't and won't refuse the sad look on Rachel's face.
"Sure," she agrees and Rachel smiles immediately.
"Excellent!" Rachel says enthusiastically. "I have an appointment in half an hour actually."
"I'll drive," Quinn offers.
The ride is made mostly in silence. Quinn knows she's spent a lot of years tormenting Rachel with the rest of the popular crowd. She takes out her anger and frustration on her peers, especially Rachel, although that has dissipated. But she never thought the brunette would be cowed or daunted by any of the taunts. Rachel is a determined star, one that shines above all of them.
They sit in a room waiting for Rachel's doctor, idly flipping through pages of different magazines. Quinn is eying Rachel out of the corner of her eye and sees a sad smile on Rachel's face. She knows that it has mostly been Rachel protecting her but with that look on the brunette's face, Quinn finds herself wanting to protect the other girl.
"So what's it like?" Rachel begins tentatively. "Looking like you look."
Quinn lowers the magazine. She wants to sprout all the lies that she's fluent with but this is Rachel and she owns it to the girl to be truthful, if nothing else.
"Being a hot seventeen year old you can basically get away with anything you want," Quinn replies slowly, suddenly uncertain. There's a part of her that wants to take Rachel down a notch but there's a softer, gentler Quinn inside her somewhere that actually cares for Rachel. A part that understands what Rachel is going through. "But sometimes that's all people ever see you as. A pretty face."
Rachel's about to reply when her doctor walks in and the both of them stand up.
"So are you ready to go ahead with the procedure?" he asks, looking at the folder in his hands.
"I was actually hoping if I could see what I would look like after the surgery," Rachel replies. "Before I jump the gun," she turns slightly. "This is my friend Quinn. I want to get her nose. Is that possible?"
The blonde glances at Rachel in surprise. Quinn thought the brunette had brought her here as moral support, not to use her nose although she is flattered.
The doctor glances at Quinn. "Of course, we'll take a few pictures."
Quinn wants to protests but she stands up dutifully in front of the camera while Rachel sits in a chair off to the side slightly. The look in Rachel's eyes isn't something she can refuse (there's something utterly pathetic about the sad and uncertain look in her eyes, it's like trying to refuse a puppy) and she knows that this is something the brunette has to do (or at least see the result of and contemplate because Quinn would not let Rachel get a nose job).
They sit beside each other the pictures are taken and the lines are drawn and the nurses have retreated away to make the final imagery. Quinn eyes Rachel out of the corner of her eye before she tentatively lets her hand rest on Rachel's thigh.
"You know you don't have to do this," Quinn whispers. She doesn't want Rachel to go down the road she chose.
Rachel shrugs halfheartedly.
Quinn is replaying all those moments when she attempted and successfully kicked Rachel off that high ladder of hers and she curses every single moment that her own insecurity caused her to lash out at the girl who didn't care. She doesn't try again as the doctor comes out with the pictures. Quinn knows all too well what it's like to want to have a fragile image of perfection.
Born This Way is scribbled across the white board when they enter for Glee the next day.
"We're going to do a tribute to the Queen of Self-Acceptance," Mr. Schuester says with a smile. "Gaga."
He's tired of all the put downs and drama that runs rampant in Glee. He understands that they are all teenagers and that's what they did as kids but sometimes it was frustrating. They need to be a team to win and Nationals isn't all that far off.
Quinn is mildly expecting to Rachel to approach her after Glee and the brunette does not disappoint.
"Quinn?" she asks tentatively. Rachel is still acting like a beaten down puppy and it throws Quinn in a loop. "Would you like to sing a duet with me for this assignment?"
Quinn tries to remember that before all this went down, she was trying to keep Rachel at arm's length but it's hard to remember sometimes. The two of them bond and Quinn reckons she's closer to Rachel than to Brittany or Santana. She enjoys, far too much, spending time with Rachel. The silence stretches on.
"I'd understand if you wouldn't but..." Rachel trails off with a wounded look when Quinn doesn't reply.
"Okay."
"Okay?" Rachel asks, stupefied. She's already made a speech to convince Quinn that working together would be more productive while listening to Mr. Schuester. Given a little more time, she could even have a power point presentation ready.
"Yes," Quinn nods slowly. "Okay."
"Okay?" Rachel asks, again. "That's all you have to say?"
"Yes," Quinn replies because she knows she's letting herself get knee deep in Rachel again and she tries to find a reason to care (her father, her mother, her parents demented and twisted idea of perfection) but like Rachel does all the time, she tries to throw caution to the wind. This is Rachel. Rachel needs her like Quinn needs Rachel. A friend in the dark.
Rachel huffs in reply. "Fine. We'll decide everything tonight at my house. Six o'clock."
Quinn shows up at Rachel's at six sharply. She knows without a doubt that Rachel will give her a long-winded lecture if she dares to show up even a second late. The adorableness factor of it would have entertained her but she feels tired and wants to get this over with.
Somehow in the short time since she last saw the brunette, Rachel has already decided on a mash-up of two songs. Reading over the lyrics, a small smile forms on Quinn's face. The song is perfect and Rachel is in her zone as she coaches Quinn on the stumbles she makes as she sings through the song the first time. They practice for a little while before Rachel is satisfied and they just lie on the brunette's bed.
It's silent and Quinn is hard pressed to want to break the comfortable silence but this is something she needs to say. Everyone is lost by Rachel's announcement of wanting a nose job but she's not. She has her faults, her problems and Rachel has hers and although Rachel hides the small flicker of hurt well when McKinley's popular crowd jeer and taunt, Quinn sees it because she sees it in her own eyes.
"Don't get the nose job," Quinn rushes out before she can lose her nerve.
"Why?" Rachel demands. She's been bothered by everyone else in Glee and here in the safe haven of her room, does not want another intervention. "It will make me more acceptable to the school's norms."
"When has Rachel Berry ever wanted to be acceptable?" Quinn scoffs in response.
There's a pause and Quinn has hit a nerve without realizing.
"Rachel," Quinn tries again. Her hand tentatively links with the brunette's who doesn't refuse her. They're sprawled on the bed. Both too far from each other yet too close at the same time. Quinn tilts Rachel's head so hazel ones and meet brown. "You are beautiful and unique. There's no reason for you to fall to peer pressure. You're a star, Rachel. Stars change but they change on their pace. The Rachel I know would never want this."
Rachel doesn't reply to her and Quinn sighs.
"I think you're beautiful," Quinn finds it funny that she's saying this. It's odd, the motley crew they are, the self-worth issues they all have and struggle with - even if they come about from different reasons. "I don't think you should get this nose job because that nose? It makes you unique and I love it." I like you.
"I think you're pretty too," Rachel finally replies. Quinn knows this already, the brunette tells her at every chance she can but it's weird to hear Quinn say it to her. The blond isn't sure if this is an admission from Rachel. Is it a yes or no?
Then again, maybe it's never black and white.
"If...if I don't get the surgery, do you think you could try too?" Rachel asks. She tucks a stray piece of hair behind Quinn's ear and the blond is only mildly surprised by the intimate gesture. Rachel doesn't say it but Quinn understands that the brunette wants her to feel better about herself. "I think you're perfect the way you are and I don't think anyone treats you well enough."
The blonde opens her mouth to deny this fact but she knows it's pointless. So instead of denying, she tries for another diversion tactic. "And when I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change 'cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are," she sings softly. She feels certain that singing will distract Rachel and it does. The two of them burst into a impromptu karaoke night in bed till they're both giggling and exhausted.
Rachel is snuggling up to her and Quinn's eyes are drooping and she's about a second away from dream land when Rachel speaks.
"Promise?"
Quinn expects, even in her half asleep state, something long and verbose but when that is all she receives, she knows this is serious or Rachel is just too tired. But Quinn isn't fond of keeping her promises - not because she doesn't want too, things just never turn out her way and she doesn't want to be the one to break a promise to the brunette although Rachel will have to expect lots of let downs on her way to stardom. Quinn doesn't want to be one to have to toughen the girl up, even if she's done a lot of it already.
So she stays silent and pretends she fell asleep already.
Quinn goes over to Rachel a few more nights to practice the mash-up of the two songs they've done. She figures by now Rachel would have attempted to talk to her about but she hasn't. Then again, perhaps this is Rachel's way of telling her that she won't push.
They sing I Feel Pretty/Unpretty the next day.
They both sit atop of stools and Rachel keeps sending her tentative glances throughout the song and Quinn sends reassuring looks back at her. She might not be able to promise Rachel to believe in herself but she protects her friends (even if most of her friends are sometimes her enemies too).
At the end of the performance, Rachel looks towards her while everyone claps and Quinn can't help but smile and mouth, "You did fantastic."
The tentative smile on Rachel's face grows wider and a part of her feels triumphant that it's her and not Finn that put that smile there.
Rachel calls Quinn up later to inform her that she won't be partaking in the surgery.
Quinn doesn't know why she feels so relieved.
The two of them are hanging out at Rachel's house on Friday night watching some sappy movie when someone knocks on the door. Rachel shifts to get it but Quinn stops her with a hand on her arm and a soft smile.
"I'll get it," she says before she goes to open the door and is face to face with...Puck and well, everyone else from Glee.
"I've brought the beer," Puck says, lifting up the case of alcohol. He doesn't even blink twice at the fact that Quinn is over at Rachel's."I think it's time we celebrate that Rachel is once again proud of her Jewishness."
"Puck," she scolds, blocking them from entering.
"Look, I know her dads aren't home," Puck tries again. "Plus, it's not like you two are doing anything - unless you were," he surveys her up and down, as if looking for sex hair or some evidence of them fooling around. "Then I'd be happy to just sit around and watch you continue."
"Puck," she scolds louder and she hears soft-padded feet approach from behind.
"Who is it, Quinn?" Rachel asks before she gets to door and sees who it is. The blonde steps back slightly so the shorter girl can see and Puck - and the rest of them - take it as an invitation to walk in.
"Hey!" Quinn shouts, more offended than Rachel seems to be.
"Oh chill, Q," Santana rolls her eyes. "You should be grateful we're bringing the party to you two losers."
"I'm not grateful," Quinn tosses back and she looks towards to Rachel to see how she's reacting to it. Quinn smiles at the brunette and shrugs helplessly and Rachel lets out a loud laugh and it feels good to hear the brunette laugh. Chances were, they wouldn't be able to get rid of them now that they had come in and Rachel's dads weren't going to be back till Sunday. If you couldn't beat them, than join them.
Besides, it was nice. Even if Puck only wants to have an excuse to party. Away from school, these were the times that she liked best. They were all just friends - no slushies (just mild insults) or social status to screw it up. They're all just friends who want to have a good time. Quinn avoids the alcohol because it reminds her too much of her dad and her mom and she tries to remember that none of her friends would hurt her. The whole night is spent indulging her friends - well, mostly Rachel because that girl is one adorable drunk and Rachel really needs a fun time where she isn't being judged by her peers.
"Honey," her mother greets when she arrives home after a day of school.
"Hi Mom," Quinn tilts her head to the side and tries not to wrinkle her nose in distaste at the smell of alcohol on her mother's breath and the glass being held precariously between her mother's fingers.
"Oh dear," Judy coos. "How was your day?"
"Good," she replies shortly.
Quinn's feet creep towards the stairs, towards freedom and the silence. Silence that she relishes but at the same time hates because it's a stark contrast to what she once had. Brittany and Santana use to accompany her and they would chatter and paint their nails and she wonders when they all began to separate from each other. Quinn hates being alone, she hates knowing that she put herself in this position, isolated and alienated. She hates that the walls of Castle Quinn tower higher than anyone can bother to climb (except Rachel, all roads lead back to Rachel apparently).
"So where is that Finn boy?" Judy asks. "I haven't seen him around in awhile."
Finn. A flicker of guilt flashes across her face for a second before disappearing. She's been neglecting her boyfriend for awhile now in exchange for Rachel. Her shoulders rise and fall in a shrug.
"Your father is always so proud to see his little girl finding such a good man."
"Yeah," Quinn whispers softly, eyes brimming with tears now. "Finn's great." And she's playing him for a fool.
"Darling," her mother's concerned voice is right beside her now, alcoholic breath and all. "Why are you crying?"
She recoils. Alcohol is now something she associates with being hurt and stupid mistakes.
"Never mind," Quinn shakes her head and bolts upstairs, wishing she would hear footsteps following her but all she receives is the clink of bottle against glass.
Finn is a constant reminder of the distorted perception of a picture perfect life her parents have planned out for her the minute she slipped out of the womb. Although they might be unintentional in their wants, they want to ground her here in Lima as another failure, underneath their overbearing figures. She doesn't want to have to blow away her hopes and dreams in alcohol and be unhappy with her marriage.
Curling up in her bed, she breathes in deeply. Just a couple deep breathes and she can pull it all together again. But sometimes, she doesn't want too.
Quinn wants to run, she wants to be free.
But staring at her shaking hands, feeling the burn of tears against her cheeks, she's not sure she'll ever make it that far away. That's why she can't promise Rachel. The bruises are a constant reminder of her failures, her false smiles a continued acknowledgement of the lies. Everything leads back to him.
She's just another Lima loser, born, raised and destined to nothing.
The tears fall harder as she furiously wipes them away with the sleeve of her shirt.
Breathe in. Breathe out. She can pull it together, she's a Fabray.
Fabrays are strong. Fabrays are stoic.
Sometimes she hates being a Fabray.
Quinn wants to give up but Rachel, out of all people, believes she can make it. Rachel always fought with her, told her she's pretty and believes in her. In turn, Quinn believes in her as well and gives the occasional push. One day, that girl will be up on the big stage and nothing will keep her from it. She'll make sure of that fact.
No, no, she can't just give up like this. Rachel believes she can make it. Rachel always believes in her and although she doesn't show it, she believes in Rachel too. One day that girl will be up on the big stage and nothing will keep her from leaving once graduation comes.
At the same time though, she hopes that Rachel doesn't get out because she doesn't know if she could survive by herself. Dependency isn't something she needs but if there's one person she could depend on, it's Rachel.
Quinn's head shoots up with wariness when she hears the front door slam shut. Alert with a clarity born from fear, she slides underneath the covers of her bed, foregoing shedding her garments.
Her eyes slide close and she prays, prays to a God she wishes still listened.
Later, it's with shaking fingers that she calls Rachel yet again. Not Finn, not Santana or Brittany. Not even Puck, the resident play boy that has a soft spot for her. It makes her laugh, seeing how things turned out, considering all she did was torture the brunette.
The phone rings once, twice, three times and Rachel's sweet, glorious voice murmurs a sleepy hello.
"Come pick me up?" she whispers softly, not bothering to hide her sobs now that her parents are gone and she is broken again.
"Always Quinn," Rachel murmurs sleepily. "Always."
Rachel's car pulls up outside the Fabray household silently. Her eyes watch the darkness for any signs of an approaching blond and every moment is agony as she waits for Quinn's arrival. Minutes tick by and she contemplates calling when she sees a figure limping their way stiffly towards her. The door swings open and Quinn seats herself slowly.
Rachel waits for the door close before she starts driving.
"Thanks," Quinn starts, means to say something else but the words escape her.
The ride is made in silence as Rachel tries to process how much worse Quinn looks tonight than the last time she called, which now that she thought about it, had been several weeks ago. When they're both going through a routine they are both familiar with now, Rachel stops Quinn from entering the washroom.
"You need to go to the hospital," Rachel states firmly, eyes brooking no argument.
"I'll be fine," Quinn says weakly and attempts to move past the brunette who refuses to let her just go. "I just need to get cleaned up."
"I know you will tell everyone else that you fell and you'll convince yourself that you did but I wish you would stop lying to yourself," Rachel tries not to shout, to not panic and let all the emotions and tears override everything else but her voice falls into a broken whisper. "Stop lying to me."
Quinn stares at Rachel with uncomprehending eyes. That look doesn't fit the brunette. The broken and tired look. Looking away, she shuffles around on the spot. She's suppose to be the broken one, it's her role but this is a startling reminder to when Rachel did show her vulnerabilities instead of hiding it underneath unending cheerfulness. She hates it.
Suddenly, the brunette is crying and Quinn doesn't know what to do. Never has she been good with emotions unless it's about hiding them. That's why she got along so well with Santana.
"I don't want you to get hurt anymore."
Quinn releases a shaky breath and has a feeling this won't be the last time she caves to Rachel because the brunette is sad.
"I'll go to the hospital, tomorrow, alright?" she swallows nervously. The hospital has always been forbidden. "But...for tonight can you just let me get cleaned up and," she pauses and swallows the lump in her throat. "Can you just lie with me?"
Rachel hugs Quinn gingerly and the blonde is startled for a moment by the contact before she lets her own arms wrap around her friend gently.
"Always," Rachel whispers in Quinn's ear, her breath tickling the blonde's neck and making her shiver.
Quinn finds herself falling for Rachel (she's already fallen).
She finds herself not caring for a heartbeat.
She finds herself terrified in the next.
Quinn squirms around in the chair, trying not to make an audible sound when she moves a certain way that she shouldn't have because it pains her. They're sitting in the waiting room of a youth clinic an hour drive away. The urge to run is constant and hard to fight because getting help is so many levels of wrong to her and her dad wouldn't be happy. She's a second away from standing up abruptly and walking away when a hand that belongs to Rachel rests itself comfortably on her knee in an attempt to calm her down but she know it's futile. She's nervous and jittery and bouncing in her seat and although she's attending to her injuries (mostly for Rachel's benefit) because they're killing her, she's not willing to admit who put them there because words ingrained into her tell her that she deserves every single punch, kick and blow.
After all, parents know best.
"Don't worry," Rachel says. "I'm sure they'll be discreet since they probably cater to a lot of...troubled youth."
Quinn eyes Rachel and wonders whether or not to put her trust in the brunette. "I hope so," she mutters out finally. "For your sake," she says playfully before she grows serious. "And mine."
Rachel scoffs derisively. "What are you going to do?" she jokes lightly. It's easier to joke with Quinn than to think of the consequences if her parents found out what they're doing.
Quinn doesn't know how to reply to that comment but she's saved from it when the nurse comes along.
"Quinn Fabray?" the nurse ask.
"That's me," Quinn responds.
"Right. If you'll just follow me, I have to take a few quick tests before the doctor sees you."
The nurse measures her height and weight and asks her a few questions before she's sent back to sit beside Rachel.
"So what do you want to do tonight?" Rachel asks. "I mean, if you can't think of something to do, I'm sure we could have fun working on your vocals - we all have to be tip top form for Nationals after all."
"We'll sweep them away at Nationals," Quinn reassures even if she's not so certain but they'll be in New York. Freedom is so close yet so far.
"Yes, but it doesn't hurt to be over prepared."
"You'll sweep them away at Nationals."
Rachel laughs but she tenses. "That's kind of you to say Quinn."
"I'm only saying the truth."
"So what do you want to do today?" Rachel changes the subject easily and Quinn lets it be changed. They both have skeletons and she can let it go.
"We could watch Kung Fu Panda or something," Quinn shrugs. It doesn't matter to her what they're doing because she'll be with Rachel.
"Excellent!" Rachel bursts into a long-winded speech about how adorable the animals in Kung Fu Panda are, especially the panda. But how she didn't condone violence solving anything.
"Quinn Fabray? The doctor is ready to see you."
The blonde stands and tugs nervously at the bottom of her shirt for a moment. Talking to Rachel made her forget that she's petrified but now that the time has come, she's ready to reconsider and run again.
"Do you want me to come in, Quinn?"
A small, genuine smile spreads over the blonde's lips. "I'd like it if you did."
The doctor enters the room moments after the two of them are seated; his eyes glued to a clipboard with a chart on it.
"So which one of you girls is Ms. Fabray?" he asks when he finally looks up, adjusting his glasses.
"That would be me."
"Right, well I'm Kenneth. What can I help you with today, Quinn?"
"Well, um," her eyes stray to Rachel who smiles encouragingly. "I slipped in the shower a couple of days ago. I think I hit several things on my fall down actually. My arm feels a little off if I turn it a certain way and well...I sort of struggle to breath."
The doctor nods his head in understanding and approaches after settling the clipboard on the desk. "You should have gotten assistance earlier. Something could have happened over the course of the past few days to worsen it. Nothing is broken though, is it?"
Quinn shakes her head no - except maybe her rib, yet again but at least it didn't puncture anything vital and she's still alive. She blanches when she realizes that some part of her craves the easy way out that death would give her.
Rachel's concerned eyes are looking at her and she feels like her secrets are all laid out on the table.
The doctor's hands press lightly over the places where Quinn points out she thinks are hurt. There's a few cuts as well but nothing too bad (she's use to pulling out glass with tweezers by herself). She bites her lip to prevent the whimper from coming out when he presses his hand against her ribs.
"Does that hurt?"
"Yeah," she breathes out in a whisper.
"Right, we'll have to do some scans on you," he says pulling his hands away. "But I believe nothing important has been damaged considering you're still alive."
"No really?" she breathes underneath her breath when he turns away. It's a defense mechanism.
Beside them, Rachel releases a sigh full of relief. Not that she thinks Quinn was ever potentially going to die. Her body just happens to hum with anger at the thought of any injury on the blonde.
A nurse goes away to help Quinn take an x-ray and the doctor turns on Rachel.
"Did she really bruise her rib in the shower?" he asks.
Rachel nods. Not too fervently like she's determined to prove that as truth and protect Quinn. This is just time for her to practice her acting skills.
Kenneth shakes her head as if she doesn't believe her but seems to take their story in stride. "This is a youth clinic and we are happy to offer our services and help Quinn if she is in any situation-"
"Rest assured," Rachel interrupts. "If Quinn is ever in trouble, you will be the first I come too."
"Alright," he agrees amiably enough and steps off. For now. "I'll be back in a few moments."
Afterwards, Rachel drives them back to her place for the movie night the two agreed on earlier. While Rachel does enjoy spending time with Quinn, she's really using this as an excuse to keep the other girl out of her house longer. A temporary solution that she doubts will work forever but for now, it is better than nothing.
Besides forever for a teenager is only a few days.
Rachel tries not to dwell on how morbid that seems and how it makes her think of her relationship with Finn.
They cuddle against each other naturally as Rachel talks enthusiastically through the movie and Quinn can't find the heart to tell the girl to shut up. They've both watch Kung Fu Panda before (the Berrys are total movie freaks and not just Broadway ones) so it's not like she's missing out on much.
All of a sudden, Rachel has stopped talking though and is staring at he intently. Brown eyes on her with a softness and gentleness that Quinn can't quite comprehend (it's not something she sees often from anyone).
"What?" Quinn asks, self-consciously, thinking something is wrong.
"Your eyes are gorgeous," Rachel murmurs softly, shyly, a blush on he cheeks before she turns away.
And just like that, the connection is broken and Quinn is left staring at Rachel's cheek for a silent, agonizing moment before the brunette bursts out in laughter at something going on in the movie. She's not paying attention anymore, not even pretending she's paying attention because she's too busy studying Rachel.
Rachel's left he stunned and she can't figure out why. The two of them compliment each other often because they're friends now and that's not unusual. They're suppose to be nice to each other but something in that moment...
Later she thinks about how that's the first compliment she's received that she believes in, truly believes in.
That's definitely not the last night they spend together. There's always something for the two of them to do from Glee club to vocal lessons, to bowling accompanied by dinner at various restaurants meant to expand their palate. It's just something that's theirs and although their friends mock them, they brush it off with ease. Rachel more easily than Quinn.
Not that Quinn disagrees with this new arrangement. She loves Rac - she loves this.
She loves this new-found safe relationship - friendship - so much that it hardly fazes her anymore when she spins excuse after excuse for her boyfriend. As charming and sweet, albeit a little inept as Finn is, she know she's not in love with anymore. Finn is arm candy, someone to hang off her arm for popularity sakes. It's just a bonus that he never pressures her for more.
Still, she can't keep up facades anymore.
"Finn?" she calls after the tall and goofy footballer that shoots her a dopey smile as he walks by with Mike.
"Yeah?" he asks, turning around. Mike smiles at Quinn once before leaving the lovebirds alone.
"I," she starts then stops. "Can we talk somewhere more private?"
Finn's forehead creases but he nods his head and catches her hand in his as they walk into an empty classroom. Here in high school, it's a vicious life and any scraps of gossip that can bring down a power couple will be used against them. Not that there will be a power couple to bring down in a few minutes.
She tries to stifle the urge to pull her hand out of his. It feels different, bigger and not the same as smooth skin and a petite hand.
Once they're carefully tucked away, Quinn tugs he hand out of Finn's grasp. Nervously, she tries to smile but ends up with more of a grimace.
"I'm breaking up with you, Finn," she states in a rush. It's easier to peel off the band aid faster instead of bit by bit.
It takes a couple of minutes for Finn to process what Quinn just said and he gaps at her.
"Why?" he asks in a strangled voice.
Quinn turns away. She knows that Finn deserves an answer but even she doesn't have any answers to her own questions. Swallowing the lump that forms in her throat, she tries to push words around it as she turns back around to face him.
"You're a great guy, Finn," she says. "It's just...you're not the one I want."
He stares at her with those big, stupid, dopey eyes of his and she can't stand staring at him any longer.
"There's someone else isn't there?" he accuses and she wonders how he can be so intuitive but so idiotic...unique at the same time. Sort of like Brittany, if she thinks about it.
"No," Quinn shakes her head. Not a lie.
"Alright," Finn replies in a defeated tone. He hasn't had her for awhile. Scratching the back of his head awkwardly, the two of them stand around, not quite looking at each other before he mutters something and darts out of the room.
She breathes a sigh of relief when he does. Being around him is a stifling reminder that Finn probably won't get any father than her father and mother did and the thought of being just like her mother hurts more than anything else.
Quinn is about to curl into a little ball and quietly contemplate where she's going in life when there's a crash outside of the classroom. Realizing that staying at school probably isn't the best idea, she moves to leave, hating that the first place to pop into her mind is Rachel's house. Shouldn't her house feel like a home to her too?
The blonde exits the classroom and looks from side to side, checking where the noise came from and whether or not it has distracted everybody enough that she can sneak out without anybody noticing her disheartened expression. What she's confronted with though, she doesn't expect.
"It's for the best," Rachel says to Finn. She has her back to Quinn.
"How is it for the best?" Finn whispers hotly to Rachel. Anger that he didn't show Quinn is being bared for Rachel. "She's been cheating on me! I can see it in her eyes."
Quinn, briefly, wonders if Finn thinks if her hazel eyes are beautiful like Rachel does.
"Then fight for her," Rachel states as if it's the most simple thing in the world.
Finn stares at her dumb struck. He expects Rachel to take his side and comfort him. Maybe for them to strike up a relationship again. Not to...do whatever it is she's doing.
"Because mark my words, Finn Hudson," Rachel pokes a finger into his chest. "I am fully prepared to fight for Quinn's affections because she is a beautiful girl and she deserves someone who treats her right."
"Are you saying I don't?" Finn asks, disbelief colouring his tone.
Rachel shrugs in response. "Sometimes, I wonder what I saw in you."
Finn is flustered because he's only just realized how many curious eyes this debacle has attracted and how he's been show up by the little brunette.
"It's not like Quinn can ever love you anyways, you're a girl," he snaps bitingly before he stomps off.
A worried expression crosses Rachel's face but she refuses to say anything in response.
Dinner starts out typical enough at the Berry household. Rachel's fathers are both attentive as she rambles on about her day and Quinn. They eat the the food that Hiram has cooked since he was the one home first and Rachel can only bake.
The three of them are going about eating their sundaes when Leroy interrupts the spiel Rachel is on.
"So...about this nightly disappearances."
Rachel is thrown off guard for a moment. Her parents don't generally stop her in the middle of her rambles and never to bring up this. They've never talked about it actually. She didn't think her parents knew even. Her parents trust her and she's never broken that trust before.
"What about them?" she asks cautiously.
"We," Leroy glances at his husband, "trust you. However, we'd like to be informed of your whereabouts."
"And why Quinn always shows up after," Hiram interjects.
"Sometimes Quinn wants to go for midnight snack runs and sneaking out is hard enough for her, she doesn't want to bother sneaking back in afterwards," Rachel lies, easily. She does that a lot for Quinn.
"Why can't Quinn eat something from her fridge?"
"Because her father doesn't let her stock the fridge with what she wants to eat."
Rachel feels like she's being interrogated.
"We're worried, Rachel," Leroy sighs. "You disappear all the time and although we live in a tiny town, bad things can happen."
She almost laughs because bad things do certainly happen.
"If something is going on," Hiram continues, "you can tell us. We're your dads, we care about you."
"That and if you don't tell us, we forbid you from leaving in the middle of the night again," Leroy threatens.
Rachel swallows. She's sure she could sneak out but if she brings back Quinn again, they'll ban Quinn from coming over and that leaves the blonde more susceptible to be harmed.
"It's Quinn," she blurts out. "Her dad is abusing her."
Leroy frowns and Hiram gasps.
"How long?" Leroy finally asks.
"Awhile," Rachel admits. She doesn't know how long.
"Quinn needs help," Leroy lectures. "Why haven't you told someone?"
"Because Quinn trusts me to keep her secret.," Rachel responds quietly. "I don't want to lose her but I don't want her to be hurt either and this has been eating me up forever. I'm so scared for her. Sometimes she's here and sometimes she's not and I wonder if she's ever going to just disappear and I don't know what to do and -"
Hiram wraps Rachel in a hug, shushing her. Rachel's crying.
"She's welcome to stay here," Hiram offers.
"I'm going to kill that man," Leroy mutters underneath his breath but Hiram shoots him a warning look.
"We can call the police," Hiram offers tentatively to Rachel. "Quinn will be okay."
Rachel shakes her head furiously. "I'll lose her."
"But you'll be making sure she's okay."
The brunette laughs bitterly. She wants to do what is best for Quinn, truly, but at the same time she's also incredibly selfish. She wants to put Quinn in front of her wants, she really does.
"Can we wait a little longer?" Rachel manages to choke out eventually. "I...just."
"We understand," Hiram responds although Leroy still looks like he might want to murder Russell. "You come to us if she ever needs anything. We're here for the both of you."
"Thanks Daddy," she smiles into his shirt and Leroy loses the murderous glare as he approaches the two and wraps his long arms around them as well.
The blows of the attacks don't startle her as much as they use to anymore. She knows how to swing her head to try and keep the force of the punches to a minimum while she fervently protects her ribs, fearful that another harsh injury will be the one that ends her (she's been playing on the edge forever, close to tipping but missing the catalyst). Russell's stormy features are not unusual. It starts with a careless mistake she makes as she reaches awkwardly to clear his plate first after dinner and spills his drink on the pristine table cloth.
Innocence is something the Fabray family lacks.
A heartbeat.
And then his rage is the first thing to react.
Quinn hates this...this indescribable hopelessness. This weakness and inability to stand up and fight for her rights as a human being when her father storms through her like a hurricane. He doesn't care enough to pick up the pieces left behind. Money is good around the house, her father works five days a week but there is always something wrong. His boss is horrible and he's praying for a promotion and his daughter is useless.
She hates that she automatically bows her head and takes the rage, hates the fact she doesn't bother to run out through the front doors and never come back because some part of her still cares for her mom. But sometimes, sometimes she doesn't want to care anymore. She wants to be cared for.
She hates how her hand automatically searches for he phone afterwards when she's alone in her room, aching and covered in fresh bruises. She hates that her traitorous fingers have memorized the actions to get her to to the one person that will not judge her, will not push her but just love her.
Quinn hates Rachel Barbara Berry.
But she loves her too. And it sickens her because she's a good Christian girl and they don't think about their fiends in that way.
"Rach?" her voice shakes. She can't recognize herself in the aftermath of the storm and wonders how anyone could ever be fooled.
"I'm on my way," her voice is ethereal, whisper soft and immediately Quinn feels her body relax.
She hears the brunette breathing and before the dial tone can enter the conversation, she speaks again. "This," she chokes out, stops for a moment as the feelings overwhelm her. This decision will make or break her. "This is the last time."
"Last time?" Rachel asks with a hint of fear in voice as she hurries out of the house. She talks to Quinn about everything but suicide has never come up. Rachel doesn't want to contemplate if this is a final goodbye Quinn is talking about.
"I'm," she murmurs as she struggles to stand up and shove things into her duffel bag. "I'm not coming back."
She's a shaking mess when Rachel comes. Not just from the cold but from her nerves. The thought of what she's doing frightens her. Quinn knows that by walking away, her father will disown her. This house will never be a home again, it hasn't in awhile. Chances are, if he does let her back in, it will be with a severe welcome back beating. Her flesh aches at the thought.
Quinn slides into Rachel's car like normal but she's not prepared for those arms that snake around her and the shuddering sob she lets loose. Being in Rachel's arms is comforting and warm and she feels safe. They never talk about this problem that she faces but Rachel has always known.
Rachel might always be stoic when it comes to these nightly pick ups, never pushing and just there but she out of everyone knows. It's better than anything the man in the sky has ever offered her because if someone up there really cares, why is she sporting her own battle wounds? Why are things so unfair?
The words slip from her before she knows what's happening.
"I love you," she rasps hoarsely.
A beat.
The brunette's arms tighten around her for a moment, painful against her newly battered skin but it's pleasurable pain. Rachel draws back so that their eyes can meet.
"I love you too."
Their hands intertwine themselves, the space between their hands perfect for the other. Together, they drive away into a night filled with unknown and fearfulness. A night filled with turmoil and emotions and pain. But Quinn keeps hope and faith because Rachel is the light at the end of the tunnel and she tightens her grip on the brunette's hand. She can be the light at the end of Rachel's tunnel. They don't talk about it but they're both broken in their own ways. Both so feaful of so many things.
But it's alright because Rachel Berry always has some semblance to a plan to take care of her and Quinn believes in Rachel.
"I promise," Quinn breathes out suddenly.
"Hm?" Rachel hums, eyes on the road.
She recalls the faint memory from weeks ago. Quinn knows she has self worth issues. A lot of girls at McKinley do because society has taken a knife and carved out their confidence, slowly but surely. All of them so afraid to be liked for who they truly were instead of the mask they put up for everyone. Her parents have definitely helped out along the way.
"I promise," Quinn states firmly. "I'll try."
Rachel smiles a little. "So will I."
So sorry that it took so long to get this out. The next update will hopefully swing by this week :) R&R.