Thunderstorms
Another rain has graced the quaint city of Anthem tonight. It's funny, I was thinking about how much I enjoy the romantics of a thundershower, when suddenly I remembered how I used to absolutely apore the rain. It's so amazing that we tend to change so much over time, yet still feel exactly the same.
I have just returned from a visit of a few days to San Diego. San Diego--how she's changed. An old sneaker still, she has had some growing pains; but is still currently growing, and I've found that she and I have grown apart. It was a nice visit. I saw all my brothers at one time--which is a feat in itself, and I saw dear friends new and old. I found that when I was driving back, I felt like someone who had violated parole and was sentenced to immediate return. I had hoped it would rain when I arrived.
On my drive back, I found that though I thoroughly did not look at all forward to the trip, I was there, stuck for 4.5 hours and nothing was going to get me their faster or change my reasons for going back. I found myself thinking of this short, four and half hour drive back to Phoenix as a microcosim of my stay in Phoenix itself; Nothing will get me through this journey in my life faster, so I had better get my ass in gear and enjoy the ride--alone. Sure, I'll talk to friends while I'm on the road, but this is a short journey with a distict destination: get out of debt and save money like a Zubel (long story). Sure, I'll make bail once a month or so, and I'll look forward to those moments, but I have to get through this. I have to prove this to myself, so to make the next stage in my life THAT much sweeter.
It seems, that now, I almost look forward to the challenges in life, as sick as that is, as opposed to the sunshine that comes in life. It seems, that at this stage in the game, the sunshine comes at too high a price with the chance of getting burned; while the cloudy moments in life often give me a sense of romantic relief, cooling whatever burns I maybe nursing at the time. What is it about these storms that have this affect?
Romanticism. I love thundershowers and the romanticism they tote. I love thundershowers and how the sound of rain will put any soul, no matter how distressed and disheveled, into a state of complete relaxation. I can imagine this is why, we often think of loved ones (or reverie of moments to be had with them if we dared to dream) when the rain pours through: love is what the pitter-patter of rainfall does to the droughted soul.
I think the most striking similarity my drive back to Phoenix has with my life here is the fact that I'm riding solo. Well... at least I have thunderstorms to keep me company.
Cheers.
I have just returned from a visit of a few days to San Diego. San Diego--how she's changed. An old sneaker still, she has had some growing pains; but is still currently growing, and I've found that she and I have grown apart. It was a nice visit. I saw all my brothers at one time--which is a feat in itself, and I saw dear friends new and old. I found that when I was driving back, I felt like someone who had violated parole and was sentenced to immediate return. I had hoped it would rain when I arrived.
On my drive back, I found that though I thoroughly did not look at all forward to the trip, I was there, stuck for 4.5 hours and nothing was going to get me their faster or change my reasons for going back. I found myself thinking of this short, four and half hour drive back to Phoenix as a microcosim of my stay in Phoenix itself; Nothing will get me through this journey in my life faster, so I had better get my ass in gear and enjoy the ride--alone. Sure, I'll talk to friends while I'm on the road, but this is a short journey with a distict destination: get out of debt and save money like a Zubel (long story). Sure, I'll make bail once a month or so, and I'll look forward to those moments, but I have to get through this. I have to prove this to myself, so to make the next stage in my life THAT much sweeter.
It seems, that now, I almost look forward to the challenges in life, as sick as that is, as opposed to the sunshine that comes in life. It seems, that at this stage in the game, the sunshine comes at too high a price with the chance of getting burned; while the cloudy moments in life often give me a sense of romantic relief, cooling whatever burns I maybe nursing at the time. What is it about these storms that have this affect?
Romanticism. I love thundershowers and the romanticism they tote. I love thundershowers and how the sound of rain will put any soul, no matter how distressed and disheveled, into a state of complete relaxation. I can imagine this is why, we often think of loved ones (or reverie of moments to be had with them if we dared to dream) when the rain pours through: love is what the pitter-patter of rainfall does to the droughted soul.
I think the most striking similarity my drive back to Phoenix has with my life here is the fact that I'm riding solo. Well... at least I have thunderstorms to keep me company.
Cheers.