i only hate you when we don't talk
i have a mother.
not my birth mother, who's turning out to be a horribly insecure, wrathful wretch of a woman, but someone who can hold me and tell me things will be okay. that she loves me. that she knows i'm a good person, and things will change for the better.
i had to wait seventeen years to actually find a mother--and tried to fill that hole with several mother figures, none of which actually were it--but what's funny is that when she first appeared, i hated her. she was a threat. she was stealing my father away from me, she obviously cared about him more than any of us, and it seemed like he was losing my brother and i as well.
but she's not like that. she's a good person. she wouldn't hurt me.
she knows when i'm not okay, and she comforts me when that's true.
i have known this woman for almost two years, but she never tried to force me to trust her, to love her, it just happened. tonight. or maybe i just realised tonight. either way.
apparently she and my father are flying to costa rica this summer to get married. we're moving into a house together--all six of us. we're driving to pennsylvania, new york, and canada together this summer--all six of us.
i have a real family now.
not my birth mother, who's turning out to be a horribly insecure, wrathful wretch of a woman, but someone who can hold me and tell me things will be okay. that she loves me. that she knows i'm a good person, and things will change for the better.
i had to wait seventeen years to actually find a mother--and tried to fill that hole with several mother figures, none of which actually were it--but what's funny is that when she first appeared, i hated her. she was a threat. she was stealing my father away from me, she obviously cared about him more than any of us, and it seemed like he was losing my brother and i as well.
but she's not like that. she's a good person. she wouldn't hurt me.
she knows when i'm not okay, and she comforts me when that's true.
i have known this woman for almost two years, but she never tried to force me to trust her, to love her, it just happened. tonight. or maybe i just realised tonight. either way.
apparently she and my father are flying to costa rica this summer to get married. we're moving into a house together--all six of us. we're driving to pennsylvania, new york, and canada together this summer--all six of us.
i have a real family now.