sXe
My ex-BFF invited me to some silly college party on Friday night. I didn't return her voice mail, mostly because it just kind of pissed me off in the first place, and because I had other plans with nicer/cooler/smarter/funner people whose sole purpose in life is not to get drunk/high/wasted/whatever.
She called Sunday evening and eventually got around to saying, Jeez Morgan...you're just not as much fun as you used to be. And I guess that kind of hurt, but if I have to get shit-face drunk for my 'friends' to consider me engaging or entertaining, then I don't suppose I need those friends.
There was a time when I was drunk a lot in high school, and a time when I thought cocaine was God's gift to man and prescription narcotics were miracles in little plastic bottles. Then I went away to college, got my ass kicked and my eyes opened by life, and grew the fuck up.
I've watched my only blood sibling turn into some kind of fucked up, alcoholic pot head, and I've watched this ex-friend turn into a weed-seeking fiend. My ex boyfriend, who is still *sort of* my friend, spends most of his time at college smoking pot and then calling me and leaving incoherent messages on my phone.
These are great kids from great families who have lived pretty decent lives. They're smart and nice and fun to be around when they're sober. I just don't get why they wanna waste their youth away on shitty substances.
I don't want to be the kind of person who hurts and disappoints my parents, and I don't want to be the kind of person who forgets things like their friends' birthdays or favorite colors. I'm all for drinking responsibly, and I won't be a total tight-ass and say you should never smoke pot. Moderation, ya know? Simple concept.
It's just a big downer to know I'm losing friends and loved ones because they think some stupid shitty drug is more important than our relationship. Talked to my little 'bro', Kenny D, about it, and he agreed that drugs are whack. Yeah, we'll get together and drink once in a blue moon, but other than that, Christ, he won't even touch a goddamn cigarette. I wish I could be like him, because even though I'm repulsed by drugs and how they can fuck a person up, temptation is always there, especially when old friends are telling me I'm no fun to be around anymore. Turning into an old bore is seriously one of the most terrifying things in the world to me. In my experience, if I can't find something funny to say, I lose all my friends. And really, I'm terribly uninteresting when I'm sober.
But. I suppose this is life. Different things work for different people, eh?