(no subject)
Today was difficult. It's Mothers Day. I got down last night, thinking about my mom. Chris was out gaming with friends, the kids were in bed, and I was alone.. and the grief just overwhelmed me. It hit me again this morning. I slept in, and when I got up Chris was still in bed and the kids were in their own rooms doing their own thing, and I was alone again. Being alone when I'm down causes my emotions to spin out of control and I just get more and more down. But then when I'm like that I push people away, and it just gets worse and worse. The negative thoughts overwhelm me, and I can't escape them. It got bad.
Eventually Chris had to go to the store, and the kids decided to go with them. I just broke down at the thought of being left home completely alone. I knew it would get bad. It was already bad, and being alone would take me to unimaginable depths. I finally managed to communicate that I wanted to go with them, and this was the best thing I could have done. Getting out of the house and spending time with my family helped bring me back towards normal. Still feeling down, but not lost.
Eventually Chris had to go to the store, and the kids decided to go with them. I just broke down at the thought of being left home completely alone. I knew it would get bad. It was already bad, and being alone would take me to unimaginable depths. I finally managed to communicate that I wanted to go with them, and this was the best thing I could have done. Getting out of the house and spending time with my family helped bring me back towards normal. Still feeling down, but not lost.