(no subject)
steve & i went to venice beach this weekend for my birthday. it was so nice getting away from this town & all the negative vibes ive been living around the past few months.
just a few things:
1. i MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST save every last penny, NOT buying ANYTHING for the next 6 months, to get out of my parents house. i was really spoiled living in my own place for 2 years. now that it's gone, i want it back. so bad. god damn it.
2. school is killing me. why cant i figure out what i want to do with my life?
3. find a second job to bring in that extra cash to get me out of here ASAP... not only that, i haven't been paid in 4 going on 5 weeks. there's no money coming in & the parents say i have to take the blow because everyone else that works there has families and kids to support. but not me because i'm only living at hoooommmeee. which i completely understand, don't get me wrong. so until they bring in some new accounts, i won't be getting paid. fuckkkk thatttt. i love my family & all, and i'm willing to help out with the family business but hey man, i'm not putting in 45+ hours to not get paid for it.... on the bright side though, once i do get paid it's going to be astronomical. like 130 something hours worth. excellent!
4. i need to learn to quiet some of my thoughts. if i don't, i see myself turning into a lunatic.
5. i'm going to delete facebook/myspace. it just causes unnecessary stress over the stupidest nonsense. i want nothing to do with it anymore. the way i see it is if people aren't in my life right now, that's fine. if it's meant to be then somehow we'll get in touch. if not, that's cool. guess it's for a reason.
6. a friend of mine went to the doc the other day & he told him that if he doesn't quit smoking or resort to smoking a vaporizer then he's going to have chronic pnemonia and/or lung cancer within the next 2-5 years. he's only 28 years old. so i either need to take a breather for a bit & save that extra money or invest into a vape. i'm thinking i'll go with the vape so i can keep what little sanity i have left.
7. i gota get out & do something productive. i need to just get out there, meet new people & make new friends. i'm feeling a bit routine & need to mix things up a bit.
8. and i need to stop being so hard on myself. i want the old me back. i don't even know how i lost it in the first place but i gota bring it back before it's too late.
i duno why i'm even writing all this. venting i suppose. nobody even reads this anymore & i don't even care. it's faster than writing it all out into a journal plus it's not displayed for the entire nation of facebook to feast on. i gotta get these thoughts out somewhere/to someone. why not my computer... ha. jeeeez.
just a few things:
1. i MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST save every last penny, NOT buying ANYTHING for the next 6 months, to get out of my parents house. i was really spoiled living in my own place for 2 years. now that it's gone, i want it back. so bad. god damn it.
2. school is killing me. why cant i figure out what i want to do with my life?
3. find a second job to bring in that extra cash to get me out of here ASAP... not only that, i haven't been paid in 4 going on 5 weeks. there's no money coming in & the parents say i have to take the blow because everyone else that works there has families and kids to support. but not me because i'm only living at hoooommmeee. which i completely understand, don't get me wrong. so until they bring in some new accounts, i won't be getting paid. fuckkkk thatttt. i love my family & all, and i'm willing to help out with the family business but hey man, i'm not putting in 45+ hours to not get paid for it.... on the bright side though, once i do get paid it's going to be astronomical. like 130 something hours worth. excellent!
4. i need to learn to quiet some of my thoughts. if i don't, i see myself turning into a lunatic.
5. i'm going to delete facebook/myspace. it just causes unnecessary stress over the stupidest nonsense. i want nothing to do with it anymore. the way i see it is if people aren't in my life right now, that's fine. if it's meant to be then somehow we'll get in touch. if not, that's cool. guess it's for a reason.
6. a friend of mine went to the doc the other day & he told him that if he doesn't quit smoking or resort to smoking a vaporizer then he's going to have chronic pnemonia and/or lung cancer within the next 2-5 years. he's only 28 years old. so i either need to take a breather for a bit & save that extra money or invest into a vape. i'm thinking i'll go with the vape so i can keep what little sanity i have left.
7. i gota get out & do something productive. i need to just get out there, meet new people & make new friends. i'm feeling a bit routine & need to mix things up a bit.
8. and i need to stop being so hard on myself. i want the old me back. i don't even know how i lost it in the first place but i gota bring it back before it's too late.
i duno why i'm even writing all this. venting i suppose. nobody even reads this anymore & i don't even care. it's faster than writing it all out into a journal plus it's not displayed for the entire nation of facebook to feast on. i gotta get these thoughts out somewhere/to someone. why not my computer... ha. jeeeez.