(no subject)
Thank you Caroline for reminding me of my journals :) I have spent hours reading through them, and I don't know whether I'm disappointed or pleased to discover that I actually haven't changed very much at all. I'm still lazy, I'm still disappointed in myself sometimes, I'm still interested in the same things. I'm worse at keeping in touch with people, I know less about my friends' lives. I like to think that I know more, that I'm more confident, that I'm better at getting my homework done, that I now speak the languages I wanted for so long to learn. It's all give and take, I suppose. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life, except the scary thing is that now I actually have to do something about it. Or, the problem is that there are too many things that I want to do, and don't know where to start, and am shit scared about not accomplishing anything.
In short, I hated being a teenager but I miss it. No I don't. I would have been the same person, made the same mistakes, missed the same opportunities, wasted the same time. I need to remember to be excited about the future, and happy about the present, and not regret the past. Life is good.
I also want to write more interesting things, but I like the things I think about, and I think I have good ideas, but I never write. So I'm writing for myself, as an experiment but also as a testament to who I am now and how I currently feel. Because it's actually really nice to look back and read about yourself. Or just really self-involved haha.
In short, I hated being a teenager but I miss it. No I don't. I would have been the same person, made the same mistakes, missed the same opportunities, wasted the same time. I need to remember to be excited about the future, and happy about the present, and not regret the past. Life is good.
I also want to write more interesting things, but I like the things I think about, and I think I have good ideas, but I never write. So I'm writing for myself, as an experiment but also as a testament to who I am now and how I currently feel. Because it's actually really nice to look back and read about yourself. Or just really self-involved haha.